I know you posted this a while ago, but just to say that we are moving to Lewes in about 3 weeks, in the same situation have a 3 year old, and another due late August. My DH will be doing the commute so hope it's not too bad... It's taken us a long time to make the decision to leave London, but am very excited about it now. Good luck with your decision.
Hello Ouroboros, I just wondered how your move went and how you feel about your husbands long communtes? We are planning to Lewes (from South London) hopefully by the end of this year and I am quite excited but also nervous about this.
I would like to know how you and your family found the move and settling in (especially schools).
We live close to Lewes (in a village just further down the train track) and I myself commute to London three days a week. It is tiring, but personally I haven't experienced real problems with the trains. Clearly, when we had the snow the trains were all completely up the spout, but otherwise they are almost always on time. Certianly I don't think it's any worse than the Brighton line.