Is Cambridge lonely

[DearGod1]

Just that really. If one was to move there single and no family to a new job and not having the easiest time making friends (anxiety).

Is it a fairly isolated and lonely place?

[SurpriseSparDay]

Is the job connected to the university?

How far from the centre of Cambridge will you be living?

Have you actually visited or spent any time there before?

[DearGod1]

No not connected.

Not sure yet.

Yes I lived there in childhood so doesn't count.

[SurpriseSparDay]

Hmm ... I ask because while I managed to be spectacularly lonely as an undergraduate a million years ago, I’d defy anyone else to manage that in Cambridge now. It feels tremendously bustling and lively.

But I’m only talking about the centre of town ... I’m finding it hard to imagine a job that is not in any way affected by university proximity - teaching, estate agency, even farming would all exist in that particular context - but I can imagine a nine to five office job and thirty minute commute might leave someone with no other connections feeling a bit isolated.

[AnotherEmma]

I'm sorry OP, but if you are a socially anxious person who struggles to make friends, I think you could be lonely in many places, but equally, with a bit a bravery you could also find friends in many places.

I've lived in Cambridge for years, as a student and then working, now as a parent too... I'm a reasonably sociable person although tend to favour quality over quantity when it comes to friends I managed to make friends at uni, get on with colleagues and socialise with them, was in a sports team for a while and had a few socials with them, and I made my best friends by joining a feminist group, it just turned out that lots of great people came along and we managed to become firm friends before the group self-combusted (the usual bloody politics). Since becoming a parent, it took me absolutely ages to make "mum friends" because I found maternity leave tough in general and didn't click with people at baby groups, but I did eventually find a couple of mums who I did click with and enjoy seeing at toddler groups. In general I think it takes time - years, even - to establish yourself somewhere and make proper friendships.

If you decide to move to cambridge this would be my advice:

• consider the type of workplace and how friendly and sociable it's likely to be, hopefully there will be people you get on with at work
  
• consider whether you prefer to live alone or with others, there is a cool housing cooperative in Cambridge (may or may not be your scene!) or you could try finding a flat/house mate, maybe someone through mutual friends?
  
• definitely join one or two groups or activities, whether it's a book group or a sport or language course or whatever floats your boat. There's a lot going on in cambridge and I think mutual interests are always a good way to meet people. Possibly less anxiety inducing too as you have a ready made conversation topic?!

[DearGod1]

I've read lots of blogs with people saying everything closes early, people keep themselves to themselves and it is a very small and lonely place.

I would be in a very much professional long hours job.

[SurpriseSparDay]

Would it not be possible for you to visit for a few days before making your decision? Identify a few possible places to live, try out your commute (if any), check out the relative liveliness of places you might want to frequent.

Personally I find the town so staggeringly pretty, I could happily sacrifice big city thrills. And it is only an hour to London.

[AnotherEmma]

Well I disagree with that. I suppose it depends where you're comparing it to. Where are you living atm?

[DearGod1]

Disagree with what Emma?

I live in London

[AnotherEmma]

What the blogs say. I didn't enjoy living in London, though. Cambridge is very different. So if you like London you should probably stay.

[KoalasandRabbit]

I always found it friendly but was just there as a student. If you want people to come up and just chat to you, you might be better in a village, one of the pretty older villages in the centre.

Depends what you are after. I didn't like London much and much prefer Cambridge but if you are after pubs / nightclubs all night London is better. A fair bit in Cambridge is connected to university but still lots that are not. Somewhere like Saffron Walden also is super friendly and restaurants etc but bit further out.

[Biscuitsneeded]

I have found Cambridge to be super-friendly. Maybe that's cos I moved here when I was pregnant so instantly had the new baby days as a (necessary for sanity) bonding experience. I don't know what it would be like as a young, single professional but from the number of houseshares, pubs etc around I would imagine it would be similar to most cities. Find a workplace with a youngish workforce and you should be fine.