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Isolated mum in Essex

11 replies

Mummyoftwoessex · 15/04/2017 21:00

Hi Ladies, I'm 32 and a mum to teo children aged 6 and 8 and I have never felt so isolated in my life. It's really getting to me at the moment. Many husband has such a great friendship circle, work life and social life. And since having my first born 8 years ago I pretty much was the first out of my friends to have children and drifted apart from friends etc. I've never really made any real 'mum' friends at any groups, nursery and now even at school. I'm not need for PTA'S or getting into gossip at the school gates, I do love a chat and will chat and smile to anyone at the school or wherever I am. But I've never found it so hard and isolating and it's seriously getting me down. I have no one I can call and go for a drink with I never have girls nights or friends I can ask to pop round for a few drinks or play dates, my kids have their friends round often but obviously at the age where the parents don't stay. I just feel like my life has no purpose I know it doesn't revolve around social lives but I literally never go out I probably go out twice a year with my husband we have his friends and their wife's round for dinners etc but it's not like they are my friends who I can call on and have a proper girly evening with which I am dying for. I just feel so alone and it's affecting our relationship as my husband is forever out with friends or work and doesn't see the problem that his always arranging stuff with his friends but not a thought on us going out he sees it as nothing special. When I speak to nobody all day but him my family and the kids and a few mums at the school for a 3minute chat before the class room door opens.
Please tell me I'm not the only one ladies. I'm not unapproachable I just don't know how to make friends and I know that's so sad at my age and being a mum but it comes to the point where I dread taking my kids to the school events as all the mums will be in their groups and I'll be sat there on my own. It really does get me down. Does anyone else feel like this?

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Terrirocks34 · 24/04/2017 23:22

Hiya hun no you are definitely not on your own. My first child is 10 years and my other child is 1 so I don't have many friends with the same age as my youngest as most of my friends have had babies earlier. I to am starting to feel isolated and never seem to go out anywhere now. The baby groups that I went to were very clicky they were already friends when I joined. Feel free to message :)

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Princess2007 · 11/05/2017 11:06

Hi ladies, where are you both based in Essex? I have just moved to Collier Row, Romford and have an only child - boy aged 9 and my street has no children. So it's not me who's lonely but I really feel it for him. He has lots of friends but no local/ street ones he can just go out and play with. Sorry it's not much help but I just wanted to share my frustration of feeling that isolation.

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milenalee · 17/06/2017 11:13

Hi, I just posted on the AIBU trying to find an exercise buddy. If I'm not far from you we could try that. And then see if we click for social stuff. I've lived two years here almost, from the US, and could really use some girlfriends. But you might think I'm too old for you. We could see.

I live near Saffron Walden. Being a stay at home mom can be very isolating. You are not alone in your loneliness. Good luck finding some buddies. Happy to help if I can.

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mintich · 10/07/2017 16:40

Where do you live? X

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Thudercatsrule · 11/09/2017 22:23

Hey, I'm in Grays, Thurrock, my boys are 11 and 10 , I'm also looking for friends!

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JennyB1983 · 29/01/2018 20:16

Hi im Jenny. Im 34 and live in Colchester. I have two girls age 5 and 2. Would love to meet some new people xx

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mustbemad17 · 29/01/2018 20:19

Whoooop so glad this is semi recent! I'm similar, live in Tiptree with a 5 year old DD & a DS on the way. Stopped working in November & now feel very out of the loop & lonely!!

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JennyB1983 · 29/01/2018 22:04

Hiya congrats, when is your son due? X

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mustbemad17 · 30/01/2018 08:21

Beginning of June 🙂

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Kerryjgh · 11/02/2018 09:35

Hi, just jumped on this thread if its not too late! Im 45, married 3 kids -27, 16 &11, work F/T and have always put all my focus on everyone else and now realise theres nothing for me! I am normal😂😂( which in my book means i love a natter, still care about appearance although its getting harder..😏 love a good moan, love cake a little too much which affects my love of clothes and getting dressed up to go out for a few cheeky ones, which leads full circle back to moaning!) No drama, No agenda just looking for friends on the same page..!

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KateGrey · 11/02/2018 09:50

Hi same for me. I have a 9,8 and 5 year old. We’re in Essex too. Near stansted. I’ve been a sahm for a while now and find it quite isolating and lonely. I’d love some real friends.

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