Sibling rivalry -help needed please

[Cms1974]

Hi I have 2 boys 12 and 9 who just bicker, name call, push each other, argue constantly. I am looking for something they could do together that would help them get on. A course, program etc that is built for this. They can't even be in the same room as each other without saying something negative or nasty. I have tried everything. I need help, even thought about a mediator but no idea where to look. I need someone else's help not things I could do as I promise I have tried!!
Thanks in advance.

[CA551E]

Poor you. Is there anything they could do together? Perhaps you could generate a shared interest that involves an element of (or promotes) teamwork? It is probably best to avoid something that is competitive though.

Maybe regular family meetings could help to resolve any underlying issues. Apparently my children were competing for my attention. Don't react when they get like that, unless it gets dangerous. I actually volunteered for parenting classes and picked up a few useful tips there. Otherwise, self-help books from others ...

Reward their good behaviour with a bonus pocket money/treat. Don't punish them ... reward good behaviour.

My girls were like that (14 months apart in age) but are grown up now and the best of friends. They were always squabbling and scrapping - it was a nightmare.

Last idea ... I'd ask them about the possibilities of ...
Books with 'things to do' from crafting
Science kits
Science experiments (find ideas from blogs)
Growing sunflowers or veg
Model making from Lego to Meccanno or Airfix
Jigsaws
Art - fimo, watercolour ...

GOOD LUCK

[CA551E]

Have you asked any teachers/health or youth worker professionals for advice?