Advice please.(12 Posts)
Hey all of you who emigrated. How did you do the grandparent thing. We are going to Melbourne in Jan and my mum has just confessed that she is really gutted that we are going and really resents that we are taking her grandchildren away.
How did you all cope with your feelings and ease their worries ??
We moved to Canada but only for 2 years. It was one of the hardest but most rewarding opportunities ever.
I phoned home every day!
Buy a web cam, arrange flights to visit, we wrote too.
It is heart wrenching but I have some fantastic memories of my time.
God how awful for you. Poor you. It is terrible to miss your parents/kids missing their grandparents. Not sure how to manage your feelings, I still find it very hard and feel very guilty.
BUT, communication is much easier these days, web cams/email etc is fantastic. I get the kids to send over paintings and when they are older will force them to write letters/emails. Also i make a point of sending photos on email really quickly ie we went away this weekend and have already send pix of our trip. We speak every day (apart from weekends) on the phone and try to have a trip sort of planned - my folks have been out 4 times in 3 years and I have been back with the kids once.
Can your mum afford/is able to travel out to visit? Can you get something booked in for say July next year? (Not a good time climate wise - but may help her let you go).
ARe you going for good or just for a couple of years? If only for a short(ish) time then it does go quickly.
I do feel for you both though, it is very hard and sad making.
How old are the children? Lots of phone calls -- and also grandparents ime love old fashioned mail, parcels and pictures and so on.
Get registered on SKYPE and buy a cheap webcam. Not only did I move 5000 miles away from my parents I am an only child too, so doubly hard and my parents are in their mid-70's. We chat for an hour every week and the boys get to see their grandparents too which is great. I'm not planning on leaving the US so we've planned trips alternate years. This year they came to me, next year we got to them, for as long as they can travel/put up with us. Much as it's hard for grandparents/kids, live is so worth living and I have no regrets whatsoever.
Thanks for all the advice. dd's are 2.5 and 1.3. We have registered for skype, and they will be visiting.
Good plan about the paintings though
Sitting bull, that is the reason we are going !
We moved to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia in June with our 2 ds (now 1 and 3) My parents said that although they would miss us they thought it was a great opportunity. (wich is what you want to hear) Parents in law on the other hand used to practically live with us at weekends were devastated. Said they didn't want to see the kids on the webcam because it would break their heart not being able to cuddle them and all and that they would never come over to visit us.
Then - 2 weeks in KL: grandparents on the webcam.
Last week: broke the news that we wouldn't be home for xmas - result: they have booked flights to come and visit for 3 weeks.
I felt really guilty for 'taking the kids away' for both them and the kids but as you see they will get over it given time and especially when they see what a great opportunity it is.
I moved before providing a grandson. I think this helps as they have never known another way.
Now ds is at school and can use a phone and send an email himself when he wants to to contact them it's a lot better.
Lots of photos by email, and drawings posted (I scan and email them now they aren't 6 inches of paint thick) are appreciated.
You know it's better to move before they start school etc. and deep down they know that too.
Join the discussion
Please login first.