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grrr. visit to Australia becoming a nigtmare already and we're not even there yet. grrrr

(28 Posts)
KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 18:25:20

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KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 18:26:32

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ruddynorah Fri 19-Sep-08 18:32:27

this is your ex husband's family? not sure i get it. can't your ex just take them and that's that. you go somewhere else nice and have fun?

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 18:36:40

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ruddynorah Fri 19-Sep-08 18:42:48

ah i see! sounds a real shitter. not sure what to suggest tbh. it sounds like if your FIL has one the inviting then he should be making sure you're going to have a good time. can you tell him your concerns?

and as for the honeymoon thing..can you not be out..a lot.

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 18:48:39

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Buda Fri 19-Sep-08 18:55:31

Poor you! Sounds horrendous.

You need to put your foot down about the MN meet-up though - it's pre-arranged and your one night for YOU. Do it! That is a order.

Hire a car? That would remove some of the issues and give you a bit of freedom.

hopelesshousewife Fri 19-Sep-08 18:57:58

Oh no, poor you - with jet lag and evils everywhere sad

Can you talk to any of the in laws, or can DH? Can't really think what to suggest - sorry.

BecauseImWorthIt Fri 19-Sep-08 18:58:30

<passes large glass of wine>

<and some Kettle chips>

<and some Green & Black's>

<strokes Cali's head>

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 18:58:53

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FiveGoMadInDorset Fri 19-Sep-08 19:00:55

Definitely put your foot down for MN met up.

Buda Fri 19-Sep-08 19:01:59

Hire a car anyway! Say you will have too much luggage. Just do it!

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 19:02:45

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Buda Fri 19-Sep-08 19:28:35

They do sound a nightmare but you know that - forewarned is forearmed as they say. If they are messing you around already and fitting you in with their itinerary DO THE SAME BACK.

(1) Hire a car
(2) email them telling them that you have done so
(3) in the email set out what thing you want to do as a family (including the MN night!)
(4) Be strong!

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 19:34:49

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hughjarssss Fri 19-Sep-08 19:45:27

Just keep it in mind that contact with them only has to endured once every couple of years.

Agree with Buda about taking control. You have your dc to put first so screw them and thir bickering.

Be strong and turn this into your holiday

KeelhaulCalifrau Fri 19-Sep-08 19:54:05

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tinton Fri 19-Sep-08 22:50:48

sorry, maybe i'm misunderstanding something but you also sound like yabu; they are organising their dd's wedding, you might not like her but she is their daughter and it is her day so her needs take precedence over your's. it is also not their fault that you are size 22 and find it hard to fit in the back of their car - just hire a car and then you can sit in the front. don't know what you do for a job but surely you can live w/out internet access for 1 week (or find an internet cafe if it's that important?). finally, do you really get 10 weeks' holiday, lucky you!!

CaliWench Fri 19-Sep-08 22:53:59

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tinton Fri 19-Sep-08 23:26:49

fine, NO NEED TO SHOUT, caliwench (or was there some sophisticated pun going on re. WHOLE THING and you were just SPELLING IT OUT? it's late etc etc). Your in-laws are a pain, join the club.
don't go/go but pay contribution/get firm and do your thing
hire a car
find an internet cafe and then you can vent in peace.

hughjarssss Sat 20-Sep-08 01:02:16

I think its obvious Cali is under a lot of pressure and feeling the strain at the moment.

I think she needs a little bit of MN support and symapthy Tinton. Maybe a bit of well placed advice as well but she doesn't need to told how 'lucky' she is or how she should shape up and stop moaning.

She didnt post in AIBU.

I hope things dont turn out as bad a you fear Cali and that you have a good holiday dispite all the tension.

And it definatly sounds like you will need that MN meet up grin

thumbwitch Sat 20-Sep-08 01:15:21

Cali, what a buggery wanky arse of a situation to be in. and angry for you.

I absolutely can NOT see why your ESIL would even want to spend part of her honeymoon with a bro she doesn't like; I and my bro do not get on at all and NO WAY would I want to spend even a night under his roof. Or he mine.

Since they already dislike each other, would it be so bad to tell her she can't stay? make an excuse like you're having the kitchen/bathroom ripped out that week and won't have the facilities to accommodate them?

I realise that doesn't help with the Oz situation but I think that's already a lost cause, although I agree you should hold out for going to the MN meet - after all, (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) you are not her blood relly so surely she doesn't need to show you off to her friends and neighbours, only her DS and your DC?

eidsvold Sat 20-Sep-08 05:31:08

Tinton - Califrau has been home for 10 weeks with her ds on their summer holiday from school!! she does not get 10 weeks paid leave!!

1. They both want to buy a car seat - let them go right ahead!!

2. as to emil - tell her wed is not negotiable. You are meeting up with friends - dh and the dses will still be there for her to show them off.

3. why not take off for some family time for just you, dh and dses - stay some beachside or in the city to travel around then. Say you do not want to put fil or grandma in law out and so Thurs and Fri you will stay somewhere else.

4. Boxing day - no - the dses will not sit still whilst she opens cheques and you would rather spend your limited time in Aus showing ds the sights - use ds2 - first trip to Aus - not sure when you will get back again etc - want to show him as much as possible.

5. get your own car for week 2 - say you want the freedom to get out and not be a burden to your fil. You want to have that freedom just to pop out. It may also be very hot - say to fil - with the travel sickness etc that you do not want to puke in his car.

6. As to the visit by SIL - aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh.

Put them in the room and just get on with your lives - the boys have school - you have PTA things to do naturally and soccer duties. I would make it very clear to her that you are nowhere near SF and that really there is not a lot for her to do around your parts - perhaps she would be more comfortable staying elsewhere. Tell her there is only one room available and how would that be on your honeymoon sharing a room with your son!! Then send her email links for other places to stay. Sure you have a motel 8 or something!!

eidsvold Sat 20-Sep-08 05:32:21

hope that helps.

short of that - feel free to rant as much as possible before you go. Take a diary to write it all down and share with us when you get back.

sad that ds2's trip to Aus is turning out like this.

sunnydelight Mon 22-Sep-08 01:21:15

I know it's really hard with family, but personally I think you should say very nicely but clearly to SIL that unfortunately, given the fact that you will all be jetlagged, DH is working and your kids have a really busy week that it's not possible for them to stay. You can also point out that if they stayed they would be sharing a room with the baby, you would not be available to babysit as you are busy and as you live so far from the centre of SF you are afraid that they would end up bored and disappointed.

It's not like it's a close relationship that you are trying to preserve, so if they take offence so be it. Let's face it, if they stay you will be spitting chips after a couple of days and the chances are that nobody will ever talk again anyway!

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