Overseas doesn't seem to be working out - leave?

[WanderingMilly]

I'm older, children grown up and left home. They travelled, I never have and wanted to do something different. Took early retirement and settled overseas in a Scandinavian country, used up a lot of my retirement money to do so. The country is beautiful but living is expensive and I've ever felt so homesick in my life. I'm thinking of giving up and going back to UK. The thing is I have no home, I would have to start again, I have very little savings.....I feel as lost as a child and I'm old enough to be a grandparent!! Please, some words of advice would be appreciated....

[shoogal]

Good for you for giving it a go! How brave of you. So it hasn’t worked out long-term? So what? Go home (or somewhere in UK) and start again. Another adventure for you!

[AutumnRose1]

How long have you been there OP?

[WanderingMilly]

Sorry, time difference I went to bed!

Thank you Shoogal, I guess your attitude is right. It didn't work out, so what, go somewhere else..... I have this feeling that I should "make it work" but I suppose, if it doesn't, it just doesn't.

AutumnRose1, I've been here a year so far and had planned on being here at least 3 years. I assumed I would sort out any culture shock after a year but perhaps not. I also thought I would find work, perhaps some sort of part-time type stuff that is easily available in the UK but out here that isn't an option in the same way. I am (and always will be) a foreigner, I am older (the population is much younger out here) and jobs aren't in great supply either. That has a monetary implication, if I am going to return to the UK I need to do it while I have enough money to do so, as living out here is extremely expensive. So I really feel quite mixed up as to what to do.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

You said you’d have no home to return to in the UK.
No job, little money.
So just want to let you know you will might have to support yourself for 3 months in the U.K. before you can claim any means tested benefits.

“However, if you've recently returned to the UK after a period living outside of the common travel area, you may have to show that you satisfy the habitual residence test in order to claim certain means-tested benefits. You should not be subject to the test if you've simply been abroad on a long holiday. In these cases you should be treated as a 'returning resident'. However, if you've spent three months or more living or working abroad you could find yourself subject to the test when you return to the UK, particularly if you no longer have property or close family in the UK.

The HRT looks at what ties you already have in the UK and what you are doing to make the UK the centre of your life. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) or other benefit agencies will also want to know how much you have cut ties with the country where you were living before. You will be asked a series of questions tailored to your individual circumstances to try and find out this information. You should be ready to give as much evidence and documentation as you can if you are asked these type of questions.

The DWP, your local authority or HMRC will decide at what point you can be viewed as habitually resident, depending on how long you have been away, why you were abroad, and what ties you kept with the UK during this time.

Rules that came into force on 1 January 2014 mean that, if you're claiming income-based jobseeker's allowance and do need to show that you are habitually resident, you cannot be viewed as habitually resident until you've been living in the UK or elsewhere in the common travel area for at least three months. This means that if you claim income-based jobseeker's allowance immediately on your return to the UK from outside this area you won't receive this benefit for at least three months.

If you're planning to move back to the UK and you think you will need means-tested benefits and housing straight away, think about how you would cope if you can't meet the conditions of the HRT for three months or more”

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/british-and-irish-citizens-claiming-benefits/

[MaggieFS]

OP, what attracted you to the specific place you are in now?

IME, whilst a year is a long time, it actually isn't when it comes to relocation. Have the things which attracted you turned out to be the case or not?

And financially, can you afford to stay if you haven't been able to get work?

It's such a tough decision, and admirable that you've tried it, but it's equally brave and arguably tougher decision to say it hasn't worked out, time for another change.

[WanderingMilly]

PlanDeRaccordement: That's so useful, I had no idea about this so I really appreciate the information. Just shows that MumsNet always helps with information and advice! I hadn't even thought about having to set up again when I came back, but clearly something else to think about. In a way, it answers my question....if I'm coming back I need to do it while I still have some savings behind me as I will have to live off them for a bit when I return. I just thought, as a British citizen, I could come back and pick up where I left off, but obviously that's not so. I will use the link and read more carefully. I still have some links with UK including all my family and two UK bank accounts.....

MaggieFS: what attracted me to the place I'm in now? Well, things like wonderful countryside (I hate cities), fresh air, living the good life(!) and outdoor lifestyle, all that sort of stuff. Landscapes, mountains....sounds a bit daft when I type it here. These things are great but generally for the residents whose home it is, incomers don't necessarily get the same deal. Living is very expensive, so it's fine if you have a job but not if you don't, food is incredibly expensive, healthcare is almost impossible to afford....ditto dental treatment. It will be worse after Brexit. I didn't know what I would miss from the UK until I tried it......after years of yelling at the TV (I know!!) I have discovered there isn't an equivalent to our BBC, especially documentaries. I miss UK food - the selection out here is minimal - and people aren't so friendly. People are very, very reserved out here, no-one smiles in the street, you can't stop and chat to strangers like happens in the UK. No pubs for a friendly chat over a drink, no such thing as a spa day (!) no home deliveries (no Tesco/Aldi/Lidl out here). I could go on. The things I could list are very small but there are many of them and they add up. And I miss the family....can't understand why as we aren't particularly close normally, but I guess a sign of my age too....

I can't afford to stay long-term if I can't get work, I'm now more and more thinking I have to call it quits. I guess typing it out clarifies....

[Veterinari]

Have a think about Scotland, Wales or Northern England for your return. Relatively cheap in parts and still with the rural feel you're after

[HuloBeraal]

Well it looks like some of this is financial. It is rare to make a move like this without sorting out every financial kink as much as possible. Surely the cost of living or the kind of jobs available wasn’t a surprise? Did you know about healthcare?
As someone who came to the UK as an immigrant I can say that it is not very friendly at all. It took ages before I had ‘British’ friends. I was then an expat in America with work and I found it way friendlier. I think the UK seems friendlier because you are a local.
Do you speak the language?
If you are going to move back, then you need to plan really really carefully. What happens if you come home, savings run out and you can’t find a job? I think going home is the right decision but will require careful financial planning.

[HouseworkAvoider10]

go home.
It doesn't sound like it will get better.
At least you could work at home.

[cushioncovers]

You've tried it op. Be proud of yourself for that. Try Scotland. Wales or Ireland if it's a quieter pace of life you seek. Property is cheaper in parts as well.

[WanderingMilly]

Thanks all. Yes, I have tried it, that should be good enough I guess. Finances are an issue, I agree; I did plan but nothing prepares for the reality I suppose. Or perhaps I was over-optimistic?
Interesting that more than one person has suggested Scotland/Wales....the quiet life and decent scenery is the appeal, certainly.

[AutumnRose1]

Sorry OP but never, ever be optimistic about finances

Don’t even be realistic

Be pessimistic and look at worst case.

If this is likely to cost more and more, I’d get back home while you can still afford it.

[Danetobe]

Hej Millie.

I think its great that you've given your dream life a go! Its something that most people will never be 'brave' enough to try.

One year is nothing in terms of feeling at home, I'd say, 5 years you'd feel like you have local knowledge and maybe 10 years to feel at home. If you don't want to stay there that long then don't have your aim as 'feeling at home in scandinavia' - live like a foreigner on a working holiday. Critically, have a mega push in 2020 to find work and if not move back to UK next xmas.

Make a list of things you want to do/see/visit/experience while you are there in that time. You may not be able to magic up a job, but you do have control over the list (a walk is stunning scenery is also free hurrah!). Make the most of your move by ticking off the things on the list. Don;t waste this chance. Good luck

Hej