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Living in the USA for three years and still homesick

(19 Posts)
chocchipcookie Tue 14-Aug-07 16:58:38

Does anyone have the experience of not assimilating? I live in Ohio in a small, semi-rural town. I have 6 month DD, my husband is American. I've been here for three years and I have still not really settled, if anything I feel more homesick than ever. I belong to lots of groups etc, go out socially but it's a 'wave length' thing I think. People here are v. friendly but the sense of humour is so different, half the time when I crack a joke they think I'm serious. Oh My Gosh. Our neighbours don't socialize, they mix with their families or Church. I think I may need to move to a bigger town? Does anyone relate or is it just me? Also, did you find going home for visits helped or made it worse when you got back?

scienceteacher Tue 14-Aug-07 17:03:43

It can be really hard because no one really gets your sense of humour. It's also hard when you are the only newcomer around. It does sound like you are doing all the right things though.

I don't think it makes a big difference being in a bigger town, unless you happen to live in a neighbourhood where lots of folks are well-travelled. We lived in a good neighbourhood in Cincinnati for that, but it still takes several years to settle.

chocchipcookie Tue 14-Aug-07 17:08:00

Thanks. What changed for you over the years?

scienceteacher Tue 14-Aug-07 17:08:46

We moved back to the UK with absolutely no regrets.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ Tue 14-Aug-07 17:14:13

I have lived in England for nearly twenty years, . I was never homesick/homesick but what worked for me was keeping one credit card with a zero balance and a huge limit so I could just go if I needed to.

Family crisis, stick it on the card.

Beacuse I feel the need to, stick it on the card.

Because I knew I could the feelings dissapated.

chocchipcookie Tue 14-Aug-07 17:14:36

That's really cheered me up, thanks. Seriously I am thinking that I may go back for the summers. It's so hot here I melt anyway... Moving back isn't an option, my husband's business is here.

chocchipcookie Tue 14-Aug-07 17:17:02

Thanks Bree, that is a good idea. When I go back I feel like I'm running away and I should stick it out here. But maybe that's unrealistic, I was 35 when I moved here after all.

Califrau Tue 14-Aug-07 17:31:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Califrau Tue 14-Aug-07 17:33:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ Tue 14-Aug-07 18:27:19

Ireland Cali, whoops nearly posted your real name then.

scienceteacher Thu 16-Aug-07 06:06:29

Had a thought, CCC...

Are you finding decent food OK? I think I would lose the will to live if I had to do most of my shoping in Kroger. You have been to Jungle Jim's right?

chocchipcookie Thu 16-Aug-07 23:27:45

Yep! Although I'm trying not to eat because I still have a stone to lose after the baby... I also use a website that ships here, it's very good - britsupertore.

I think it has really hit me that this is permanent. My husband is American and now I have a daughter born here. I do think it's different if you're posted or you know in the back of your mind that you could go back. My son loves it here and is going to go to college in the US, he's 16.

I don't know how much of how i feel is related to where we live - small town, moms swapping cookie recipes. Not that there's anything wrong with a good cookie recipe swap but I miss that British edge.

brimfull Thu 16-Aug-07 23:36:28

bet they wouldn't laugh if you took the piss out of their cookies would they?

I've lived in uk for 24 yrs now,grew up in canada ,originally from scotland.

I agree the wave length sense of humour thing is important.I do think small town middle america/canada lacks the edge somewhat.

My mum found it took her years to settle in canada when we emigrated from scotland but she settled eventually,and is still there.She still misses the humour though.

chocchipcookie Thu 16-Aug-07 23:36:44

I mean

chocchipcookie Thu 16-Aug-07 23:37:59

Dear ggirl. Cookies are very serious but not as serious as Christmas tree decorations.

brimfull Thu 16-Aug-07 23:39:04

or door wreaths

chocchipcookie Thu 16-Aug-07 23:43:38

A new one every month with a matching mail box cover in printed plastic? I'm off to my son's High School 'meet the sports teams now'.

brimfull Fri 17-Aug-07 00:05:21

don't forget your pom poms!

scienceteacher Fri 17-Aug-07 01:41:58

There's a British shop (a real live one that you can go to) in Dayton called Wise Choice Imports.

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