Ugh I want to move overseas. Come talk some sense into me

[iwanttomoooove]

I really want to move abroad. Always have but never took the leap. I want my children to be bilingual and have a better quality of life. I don’t just want to stay in my home town until I die. I also want to move to an EU country as I liked being a part of the EU.

I can’t get the idea out of my head.

I’m retraining to be an accountant, my DH works in financial services. I was thinking of moving once I’ve qualified.

But is this even realistic? I won’t have a job I could transfer to so would have to apply directly. It would mean the DCs would need to move country but it would be before they start school.

What do you think?

[Clangus00]

I think wait till all this Brexit crap is sorted. You might find the immigration rules into whatever EU country you want to move to changes afterwards.

[TheresWaldo]

You need to check which countries will accept your qualification. Not all can be transferred.

[Chocdip]

Switzerland could be a good bet for you. Fantastic quality of life.....

[SunnivaGunne]

Except I know a Swiss family who are moving to another country as they find their hometown (Geneva) too expensive and stressful. So, horses for courses.

If I were you OP I would move for a short period initially, say 2 years. It is much easier to like a place for two years than forever, and it also means you can tweak the move after that time (change towns or areas) or go home. I am envious though as I would move to a sunnier climate in a heartbeat only my children are too big (teens) and wouldn't want to move .

[iwanttomoooove]

Thanks all!

I’m glad you don’t think I’m a complete loon for considering it.

It won’t be for a couple of years yet as I still have more exams to do and I’m pregnant again. Also gives us more time to save.

My qualifications are transferable but DHs aren’t.

I like the idea of just taking it a couple of years at a time.

[Loopytiles]

YANBU to investigate if your H is open to doing this too.

But IMO this is a huge request to make, so it’s U to pursue if your H is against it.

[IWouldPreferNotTo]

I'm doing it as a trial. We've moved to Poland and are going to give it a year or two.

We were renting so it was an easy move.

Actually living abroad is less easy but so far it's worth it.

[scaryteacher]

We are moving back to the UK after 13 years abroad. It is really the same shit in a different place in a different language (or two where we are), and with different food.

[yoursworried]

Careful you're not suffering from a case of 'grass is greener'. I live abroad, I like it - my DC are learning a major world language and are almost fluent, we both earn more money, we have domestic help.
On the flip side I miss my family and close friends more than you could imagine, I miss the NHS, I miss being able to afford a decent sized property, the weather is oppressively hot and humid and I miss the seasons.

Nowhere is perfect and there is a certain amount of 'same shit different country'. I"m looking forward to going home in a couple of years although I am very fond of my host country.

[Branleuse]

me too OP, me too.

It would have to be somewhere that i could get easy flights back to the UK though, year round. Somewhere with better weather and scenery, and also things to do, especially in winter.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

It is really the same shit in a different place in a different language (or two where we are), and with different food

Depends where you go.

I cannot work when the weather is cold and rainy my joints seize up.

If I could get over Spanish cockroaches I would be in Marbella like a shot.

We are moving soon and am torn between the sensible decision that fits with all the family and just wanting to pack up and move to Mexico or the Hollywood Hills

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Should say I love oppressively hot

[scaryteacher]

We are where the weather is very British, and it gets very cold and wet. You can have four seasons in one day here. The chocolate, beer and frites almost make up for it, but not quite.

[bert3400]

Once you have your qualifications in accountancy could you work remotely, we have own business and are planning on moving back to Spain early next year, lived there 8 years ago for a year and have the chance to go back. We will run our UK business from there as it's all internet based. I think if you can prove to your host country you won't take anything out of the system, will bring money into thier economy and have private medical/school, I can't think why any country wouldn't want you . Never give up your dream OP

[Legomadx2]

I lived in France for a year and OMG it made me realise how much I love Britain!

Do it without commitment at first - rent, don't buy, etc. Honestly, the PP who says same shit, different place, is so right.

There's something amazing about being at home, being a local, fitting in without trying. You don't realise this until you're an outsider.

[zafferana]

I think if you've always wanted to work abroad then it's hard to get that our of your system. Ideally, you'd have done it when you were young, free and single, but you didn't. So what does your DH think of this plan? You both need to agree on it, otherwise it's not fair to keep banging on about it and guilt him into making a big move that he doesn't want. I've seen lots of threads on MN over the years where one partner (usually the DH), has got a bee in his bonnet about moving somewhere and the DW is being dragged along against her will.

As to whether it's even possible - yes it is possible - plenty of people do it. However, once you're established in your career it's usually an inter-office transfer type of deal, so you keep your job, but just do it in another location. If you're an accountant and your DH is in financial services there tends to be scope for this, as long as the company you work for has a presence in other countries.

[zafferana]

One last thing - do you speak any other languages? If you want to live and work in Europe it can be anything from useful to essential to speak the language. My DH managed to work in Switzerland for a year in finance with no relevant linguistic abilities and I know of others who've worked in Frankfurt with only English, but this will definitely limit you!

[alwayscrashinginthesamecar1]

Well I emigrated to Oz in my 40s and only wish I’d done it sooner! Look into your options and save hard, moving countries is expensive ( I’ve actually done it three times), Don’t underestimate how much hard work it can be, but for me it was definitely worth it.

[Funghi]

I’m the same, OP. I’ve always known I wouldn’t settle in the UK and I spend every spare moment I have either planning trips or travelling.

DH has recently qualified in a job that doesn’t seem to exist outside of the UK and I’m struggling to accept staying put.

How about doing a summer abroad to see how you feel about coming back after it, then extend it to a year and so on?

[Oliversmumsarmy]

There's something amazing about being at home, being a local, fitting in without trying. You don't realise this until you're an outsider

Even in my home town I felt like an outsider from as young as I can remember.

I have moved around the UK a lot and have bought and sold many houses. I have travelled to loads of different countries but untill I went to a certain town in America I never felt that feeling I was home.
It seemed really familiar.

We were travelling through this place in the 80s. It was a very dangerous area but it did feel like I had come home.
Dp thought I was completely mad.

I try to go back every few years and the feeling is always the same.

I wanted to buy a place there in the 80s but Dp was frightened of getting shot.

The places were really cheap.

It is now a really safe area and very expensive.
It still feels like home.

[scaryteacher]

It's silly things that end up grating on you. We needed to replace an odd length tube bulb for under kitchen wall cupboard lighting. After we had tried the 6th shop that said 'no', dh turned to me an said that it was time to get out this f'ing country. In Cornwall, we would have wandered into Trewarthas in Callington, and they would either have had one, or could order one.

It's knowing how the bureaucracy works instinctively; and not having to translate everything, or jump through what seem to be at times ever changing hoops.

[Branleuse]

in some places I feel like an outsider and in some places i feel like I fit in. I can feel like an outsider in many places in the UK as much as places abroad. Its probably wise to choose where you live quite carefully if youre not the sort of person who can fit in anywhere

[iwanttomoooove]

Thanks all.

DH isn’t against the idea but is more practical and says we would only move if he deemed that we could afford it.

I was a bit worried about same shit, different place but least it would be some excited for the first 6 months or so I’d had thought?

To those of you who have moved, can I just ask was that because of work, your partners work or another reason?

[alwayscrashinginthesamecar1]

Oliversmumsarmy I agree. I never felt at home in my home town or even country (NI) and couldn't get out quick enough! I loved living in London, but always knew I wouldn't stay for ever. Loved Cork, but again, it wasn't quite home. yet as soon as I got to Oz I finally got it! I've obviously found my place as I've more friends than I've ever had in my life, and despite there being an element of truth in same shit different bucket, I still get a thrill almost every day that I live in such a beautiful place.

[zafferana]

You don't need to go to Australia to feel at home - sometimes just moving to another place in your own country is enough. I grew up in a rural area of England - always feel like a fish out of water and couldn't wait to leave. Moved around a fair bit, decided I preferred urban areas. Lived in three other countries, got to a point where I felt quite at home in all of them. Moved back to the UK and moved to a small city near London and feel like I'm finally home. So don't assume you need to move abroad to get that feeling, maybe you just need to find somewhere that is more 'you' in this country. There is a lot to be said for knowing the language, knowing how everything works, who to call if something goes wrong, where to go for advice, healthcare, etc.