Did anyone move back with older DC?

(9 Posts)
IJumpedAboardAPirateShip Sun 08-Sep-19 07:36:57

I thought we’d be abroad for 3-4yrs, it’s now been 8 and for various reasons I can’t see us moving back for a few more years. Eldest DC starts middle school next year, if we stayed 3 more years we could move back for start of GCSEs for her

BUT I was moved at 13yrs old and it was awful, I fear doing the same damage to my own child. Am I therefore just stuck here now until they both finish school? Anyone uprooted their children aged around 14?

OP’s posts: |
Iloveelephants2 Sun 08-Sep-19 07:46:01

My advice is stay put now until school finishes for your DC. I’d love to move too but have moved already and it’s been hard. We are staying now till school is complete. Hard for me but easier on DC.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip Sun 08-Sep-19 08:18:48

But youngest DC is only 7!! That’s another 11 years.....

OP’s posts: |
RainOrSun Sun 08-Sep-19 08:57:48

I think it depends on where you move to.
Somewhere with a stable population, and very little movement could be extremely hard.
An international posting, with big pupil turnover, I would expect to be much more understanding.

I know a family who came back this summer with one child going to Uni and one to 6th form. So far, that seems to be ok, as most 16 year olds go to college, so there is a big shuffle. She isn't the only new face!

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip Sun 08-Sep-19 19:41:25

Good point - we’d be likely moving to Brighton or Greater London

OP’s posts: |
fussychica Mon 09-Sep-19 13:42:06

We came back after 8 years away but DS was going to university so pretty straightforward. I would have thought a return to ensure exam course starts were suited would be ok because they are fluent in the language here so won't experience the difficulty many youngsters face with a move to another country. Depending on where you've been the most difficult thing might be the culture shock of moving to a big city which might restrict the freedoms they may have had previously. Alternatively it might offer them lots more excitement and opportunities. Slotting into new friendship groups successfully is probably down to your child's personality as much as anything else.

merdarn89 Tue 10-Sep-19 11:47:15

I moved back with 3. One of them was the roughly the age your DC will be if you move back and whilst educationally it has been the best decision, socially it has been a nightmare for her at school. I won't go into detail but she's now in therapy! The other two (one was older and came straight back into GCSE year) absolutely thrived from day one and it was the best thing for them.

Things to think about I think are: where you are moving from and to? Are you switching languages for example? Linguistically that can be fine because I presume they speak English (and London esp is so used to immersing "foreigners") but culturally it can be really hard at 14 due to slang and shared cultural history that I assume your DC will have missed out on after 8 years. Also how sensitive is your DC? Two of mine are extremely robust (and pretty cool) but the one who has suffered is extremely sensitive (and far too nice sad).

Having said all that, moving back has been the best thing for us as a family and I would do it all over again.


IJumpedAboardAPirateShip Tue 10-Sep-19 23:35:16

It’s hard isn’t it - I mean they’d be moving from a city to a city in English speaking countries, they visit the U.K. regularly so know london fairly well and we have many adult friends and family they’re close to and also have a few expat friends with children who have moved back (though not to anywhere near where we would be)

My eldest is sensitive and introverted which adds to the issues....

OP’s posts: |
HerRoyalNotness Tue 10-Sep-19 23:43:28

I haven’t but we will face the same issue. My fear is if we don’t move back then they’ll
Go to college where we live and end up staying here. And it’s not a place that I’d want for their future lives. I’d also feel I’d have to stay here for them and I hate it! I also have a sensitive oldest child, the others are more robust and make friends easily.

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