want to go back to Singapore but feeling guilty re. parents

(4 Posts)
earlylifecrisis Mon 01-Jan-18 09:28:55

In March we moved back from a 18 month stint in Singapore. I loved it and didn't want to leave but my DH's package didn't include school fees and DD was approaching reception so we needed to come back - I couldn't find a full time job at the time, I was doing supply which didn't have a package obviously. I do like the UK, and I love seeing friends and family but I miss Singapore so much and the life we had there.
A job has come up that I have applied for (I'm a teacher) which is inclusive of two school places (DD would be year 1 and DS would be going into Nursery) and DH could have his job back at the Singapore office - they'd be delighted to have him in fact. The job is for two years. If I don't get this, I would like to apply for other jobs in Singapore either for this coming academic year or the next. I just feel like I'm not done there and I love it so much.

The only thing is that my mum is on her own and recently retired and both my siblings live abroad with their DC. DH mother was widowed whilst we were in Singapore last time. Both our mums adore our DC and vice versa. Neither mum is the type to stand in our way or ask us not to go, but I know they would be crushed. We would get a 4 bed condo so they could both come out and stay as often and for as long as they liked. I would also take the DC home for the summer holidays. Has anyone not gone because of grandparents? Or go anyway and the guilt subsides a bit? It's not a forever move - we hope to put away a large chunk of money and buy a bigger house in the South East eventually.

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GreenSeededGrape Sat 06-Jan-18 14:34:04

Do it. This is your life to live and you need to do what's best for you and your dc. Your dm and MIL van visit as you say, you'll be home for holidays and Skype is wonderful.

I'm saying this as someone who moved to the otherside of the world because it was something I wanted to do (UK) and had both dd2 here.

After 8 years I am now ready for a change and am seriously considering Singapore but I'm not sure it will be doable for dh and I unfortunately.

Good luck with the application!

AstridWhite Sat 06-Jan-18 14:39:33

Go back. Once you've been an expat it gets into your bloodstream and so many people find it hard to settle when they come back and feel so dissatisfied and disenfranchised.

Your Mum and MIL are free to visit you for extended periods and no doubt you will visit the UK for long summers if you teach?

Don't hesitate, just do it.

earlylifecrisis Sat 06-Jan-18 16:04:07

Thanks both. I think you're right- expat has got into the blood indeed and I feel really compelled to go back.
I would go home for a long summer yes from End June to August

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