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Giving birth abroad and wondering...

(10 Posts)
tilda0 Sat 28-Oct-17 22:41:35

I am now 5 1/2 months pregnant and I live in Sweden, the homeland of my husband since almost 3 years. I don't think I want to live much longer here. Now that the birth date is getting close I am wondering if it is a good idea to have the baby born in a country that is not my homeland. Already it is hard to just have a getaway home (only 2.5hours flight from Sweden). My husband is stressed with work and doesn't want to go there now. It is my last chance to visit my country before giving birth...I'm not asking for a babymoon on a greek island for two weeks, just two days back home.
I understand that he is stressed with work/money.
This makes me doubt a lot. It seems that it is going to be hard to getaway. It makes me wanna move back home.

tilda0 Sat 28-Oct-17 22:44:20

I'm also really annoyed that there is no trip option in Sweden if I don't take a plane. Really tired of being stuck in the cold boring north pole!

fatowl Sun 29-Oct-17 12:19:47

I'm a bit confused.
Do you want a short trip to your home country for a few days before it becomes too late for you to fly? Or are you talking about actually leaving your DH to give and stay in your home country for an extended time while you give birth. You say you don't want to live there much longer, but then you say you just want to go for two days.

Either way, it is an unsettling time and it's fine for you to feel restless/homesick?
You say your Dh is from Sweden, do you get on well with his family, do you have a lot of support?

Evelynismyspyname Sun 29-Oct-17 17:56:15

Tilda haven't you been posting on this dilemma since before you even started TTC?

Your husband won't leave Sweden despite you hating it because he owns a flat?

Just go back to your home country without him for as long as you can get leave from work. He doesn't need to go with you, you don't have to make any big decision until after you return from a holiday in France. Stay where you'd live if you moved back so you can think more realistically about whether the grass is greener.

caffelatte100 Tue 31-Oct-17 19:21:05

Can't you just book a flight ticket and go on your own for a long weekend or longer. You sound very miserable and unfortunately the winter has not really started. Benefits are good in Sweden so hopefully you can enjoy them...

tilda0 Fri 03-Nov-17 11:44:14

Maternity benefits are good in Sweden for people who have been employed there which is not my case and not the case of many foreigner mums...*@caffelatte100*

@Evelynismyspyname I basically know that I don't want to live in Sweden since two months after we arrived here. Being a tourist is so different than being an immigrant here. Sweden is super good in terms of infrastructure and safety but completely fucked up in terms of social life.

@fatowl I'd love to go on a short trip and I also would like to move for good!

BabyDreams2018 Fri 03-Nov-17 12:03:43

How many weeks pregnant are you? Most airlines have a cut off for travelling when pregnant. If you move to give birth, do you have support to help you? Every relationship requires compromise so you need to sit down with your DH and make some decisions.

tilda0 Fri 03-Nov-17 14:56:35

@BabyDreams2018 I'm willing to take a few trains if I can't fly. I'm 23weeks now and not ready to move yet...
No support in England but a lot of friends. One MIL in Sweden and 0 friend.

Laptopwieldingharpy Tue 07-Nov-17 15:13:02

Don’t know how many times we have to go over this without sounding totally un compassionate but what?
Oui Londres c mieux, Paris seule? une compromission possible mais pas souhaitable. Pourquoi faire un enfant dans ces conditions?

MountainDweller Thu 16-Nov-17 23:20:41

Go home alone for a break, see your friends and family.

Healthcare in Sweden is excellent and you will have been paying towards it so take advantage and have your baby there.

DH spent a year commuting to Stockholm from our home in Eastern France. He found the winter hard, the lack of light was the worst thing. I think November is almost the worst month because you have all the darkness ahead of you. We thought about moving but we were not that keen and are very settled where we are (from U.K. originally).

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