Hey. I think I just need a handhold. I moved to Oz just over a year ago with my boyfriend. We met on holiday, he's English but has AU citizenship and been here ages. I've found it so hard to settle.
We moved in together straight away (had to for visa purposes) which means we never really "dated" - we went straight from long distance to living together. It's been hard - he's messy, I'm tidy, he snores, I'm a light sleeper, I eat healthily, he likes chips etc. I realise all couples have to negotiate this stuff but I've found it hard without my friends to provide a sounding board.
I feel like I'm an add-on to his life, rather than having my own life. I've joined clubs, exercise groups, meetups etc and made a few acquaintances but no one I could call a good friend.
DP knows I'm unhappy and we agreed to move back to the UK in a year's time when our rental here is up. But I'm struggling. I went back to London for two months in the summer on my own and I loved having my old/own life back. Totally fucking loved it. I was me again. And now I am back here and lonely as hell. I got really upset last night and we are going to talk later tonight.
Things are complicated further by the fact my entire family have booked to visit at Christmas - paid for flights and accommodation - and my niece is then staying with us for a month. So I can't leave as that would mess up their plans/cost them a fortune.
How do I know whether the problem is me and my DP or just living here? i.e. would it work in the UK? If we're meant to be together, why aren't we happy? Sex was great at the beginning but now it feels like a chore (to me). Is it just because I am so miserable? I work at home freelancing - love my job - and don't want to change that so meeting people at work isn't the answer. Is he going to resent moving to the UK with me the way I've started to resent leaving my lovely life to move to Australia?
I'm not even sure what I'm asking but advice from people who moved for a guy would be good, as it seems to throw up different issues that couples who move together.
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Just so homesick
46 replies
writergirl747474 · 19/09/2017 02:56
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