Stay or go

[noisewithdirton]

Hi we are faced with a situation where we have the choice to move abroad or stay in U.K. We are happy here but not so entrenched that we wouldn't move. We can see possibilities for the future in the new country but it would be the other side of the world from family and friends. Jobs are ok either way - not amazing to move for (although more money) not amazing here. Children are equally torn - excited about a new life but quite like the one they have here. HOW do we decide?!

[Ancienchateau]

Things to consider are is it an English speaking country and if not do you speak the language? What ages are your children ? If in secondary then I'd be cautious esp if moving to non english speaking country. How often will you get to come home/have family visit? How old are parents etc.

Good luck it's a tough decision but as someone who is overseas currently, there is a lot to be said for staying where you are happy.

[RedSandYellowSand]

How old are the kids?
How long would you stay? Forever, or a 5 year sort of thing?
What health are your parents in?

We are in a place with excellent £, but there is no way we are staying long term. I have said back for secondary school - lots of friends currently looking at boarding schools, which isn't a route I personally want to go. The effect of parents being in hospital when you are nowhere near is horrible.

But most of all, how will you feel if you don't do it? Like you've always missed out on a potential dream? Or a bit of a shoulder shrug? There is no right answer, only your best guess from the info you have at the time.

[noisewithdirton]

Children are 9 and 12. It is English speaking. W feel it is only worth the upheaval if we can get citizenship but there is also an option to just go for 2 years. Parents are late 60's early 70's in good health and supportive of us going so they can visit! However we would probably only see them once every 2 years. Really struggling as really want to go but also really want to stay!!

[SandraNoMore]

No brainer. Stay!

[itwasafishisayafish]

I'm in a similar situation but reversed.
We moved when the kids were small, it was supposed to be a permanent move. Kids are now 9 and 11 and I would move back home tomorrow. My advice would be to research, research then research some more. Don't assume that it will be better. Possibly go for the 2 year period to test the water before making any big life changing moves???? I was so sure and ready and determined to move but if we had had a 2 year trial period we would definitely gone home.

[Laptopwieldingharpy]

Definitely go for 2 years if your budget allows moving back if the trial fails.
Why not? Kids still just about young enough and you all sound game? Life is too short.

[RedSandYellowSand]

I'd go, so long as your 12 year old would be back in time to start a 2 year GCSE course if you chose to return.
If you don't go now, you never will.

[Ancienchateau]

Just be warned that many GCSE courses are 3 years or it's useful to be in Year 9, as I'm discovering. GL with whatever you decide.

[KimKardashiansArse]

Which country is it? It's difficult to say without knowing that.

[KimKardashiansArse]

(I could give you 10 very good reasons not to move to the US for example!)

[Gimboid]

You need to think about your long term priorities and what it is that is driving you. Is it just because the opportunity is there and you fancy a bit of adventure or is it more than that? We've lived abroad a couple of times, both work driven and it's benefitted us all massively, purely from a life experience perspective. We are now contemplating another move abroad but it's a personal choice this time and therefore harder to make the decision as it was our choice, as opposed to being forced in a way so I understand how difficult it is! I think it's a good idea to make a list of positives and negatives and then mark each with importance to you, just to clarify it logically without letting too many pesky emotions cloud your judgement at this stage!

[Citizenoftheuniverse]

kimkarda, out of curiosity what are the ten good reasons not to move the US, as someone seriously thinking about this?