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Is a move on the cards?(2 Posts)
Dh and I have moved country a few times in the last 20 years. Always been me that has build up friendships, found things to do, dealt with all the paperwork etc, basically socialised us into our new surroundings.
We moved to dh's country, 6 years ago when the kids were pre-school. This is my first non-english speaking country so dh knew that he would have to take the lead with this
our supposedly final move. I have found it really hard to settle here, for a multitude of reasons.
Dh has taken care of all the 'necessary' things which I am truly thankful for. We have nice life from a material standpoint but our life lacks, well, life really. Socially we don't do much. Dh works away so we can't rely on his work colleagues as there aren't any where we live. When he is home he is quite happy not doing much. I on the other hand would like a little bit more, for me and the kids. I maybe have a coffee a couple of times a month after school with another mum, or stay for a coffee when dropping one of the kids off for a play-date. Dh and I don't 'do' much else though.
My language skills are not fab but I do make the effort. I ask dh to try harder in finding after-school activities for the kids, places to go, things to do, all the things I would do normally.
It is obviously easier for dh as this is his first language, he knows the system, how people work here.
We don't do anything in the language of the country, dh's language.
He doesn't even speak his language at home, we all live 'in english'.
I feel I'm living with one hand behind my back here, not fully engaging. The first few years here were hard
absolute shit. Dh working away, me trying to build a life in a language I didn't speak. People not being friendly, helpful, even civil sometimes. I am tired now. I just came back from a UK visit and realised I didn't feel stressed, nervous, wary, unsure of my self at all whilst there. I was my usual confident, smiley happy self.
I am starting to think
have been dreaming, praying, wishing that a move back home is they only way.
Sorry for the ramble. Has anyone just become tired of being in a foreign land and wanted to go 'home'?
I was happy to come back to the UK after a few years away, I had really enjoyed the time away but it was hard. Living in a very different culture and language is hard. But is was even harder being home, I had been warned it would be but hadn't listened. After a couple of years in the UK we are looking likely to be going overseas again and I am really excited. It will be English speaking so will be easier but not easy. Easy gets very dull though.