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Living overseas

Considering a move back to Oz

17 replies

singme · 20/01/2017 10:05

Just looking for advice from those who have moved overseas for their partner mainly!

Myself and my DH lived in Australia for 2 years and returned to the UK 2 years ago. We came back because it was only ever planned to be two years. I spent the first year we were out there incredibly homesick, even though I loved it there. I visited home once and at the airport back to Oz vowed to myself that I couldn't do this again! But then when I landed I went for a lovely walk by the water with my best friend, looked at the huge sky and felt so much better instantly. But maybe that was because I knew at this stage I was definitely heading back to the UK?

Well we've been back for 2 years now. My career has gone pretty well, I have a job I love. DH has had knock back after knock back in his career and is feeling pretty low about it.

We live in an amazing city, have access to the (cold) outdoors and generally have a nice life. Considering DCs soon.

But I know DH would go back to Australia tomorrow if we could. Our jobs were less busy, we got paid more, had more time off.

But I would just miss my family so so much. I've got friends here and out there who I'll miss either way.

If DH doesn't get the job he is going for this time, I really think we should consider moving back. I love it there too and miss it lots, but I'm fairly sure if DH was happy here I would be happy to stay. Will I resent him if we move? Maybe he needs a career change, or we need a flat with some natural light during the day!

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smellsofelderberries · 22/01/2017 03:37

We are the other way around, though not in the same situation. I am Aussie and had lived in London for 8 years, DH is English and we moved back to Aus last August. I was in the third trimester with our first child, and having my family so close by has been a godsend. Things went pretty well with delivery but I have had some problems since, which has also taken quite a toll on me emotionally, and the ability to have my Mum pop down for a few days (we're in two big East Coast cities) for just a few hundred $$ has really saved my sanity. You say you're considering having children, how do you get on with your in-laws? Would they be an adequate substitute for your own Mum and Dad if you needed a bit of support after little one arrives?
On the same foot, I have found the medical care here to be head and shoulders above what I had in London. I ended up needing 5 days in hospital after I gave birth so had a private room so DH could stay, food was really very good compared to food on the NHS and I have had amazing support from my GP and almost immediate access to specialists postnatally for the issues I've faced. I would not have had that in the UK. (We were only supposed to be here for 2 years but I have already told DH I am very reluctant to move back until our family is finished, because the care here has been that good). This was all through the public system too, not private, so we didn't pay anything.
No one can tell you if you will resent him if you moved, but you do need to think about the support you will want when you start a family. If you can afford a decent sized place in Aus and wouldn't mind your Mum and Dad coming to stay for a month or two after you have a baby, then that's one thing. I would NOT have coped with my Mum not coming or, alternatively, having to come for a month to justify the cost/flight times. I love my Mum in small doses :)
I think we will probably end up moving back to London in a few years (unless we try out another city in Aus first and I take to it a little more than I have to Sydney!) but at the end of the day, there are always huge losses to wherever you live when you're in an international relationship. It's just figuring out where those losses are slightly less and you can cope with the fallout.