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Saying goodbye

(10 Posts)
HNY2017 Sun 01-Jan-17 22:01:12

Our move abroad is imminent. I sway from feeling excited, sad, worried, happy, impatient, nostalgic, overwhelmed, numb, regretful, scared, intrigued etc etc etc.

My parents are sad we are going as they are very close to the dc. I feel guilty that we are "taking them away" and keep wondering if we are just being foolish separating the children from their grandparents whilst everyone's at a good age (i.e. Kids are little and still interested in their GPs and the GPs are still in good enough health to help out and look after them regularly).

Then we have a lovely wide group of friends who we'll be leaving behind too.

It's kind of a "it's not broke so what are we trying to fix??" type feel.

I'm sure the move will be fun and a bit of an adventure and a great experience but I'm currently questioning whether all that will outweigh leaving friends and family behind.....

I guess it's just a wobble, and all will be fine. But I'm dreading the goodbyes and the packing sad

HashtagMe Tue 03-Jan-17 18:35:41

Hi HNY2017,

My move happens next Wednesday. DH left last July. His move was sooner than we anticipated so I stayed behind with the DCs to sell the house, etc.

I've been ok the last 6 months but I'm really struggling now. More so since the furniture left before Christmas. Seem to have very puffy eyes all the time. DH comes home on Sunday to help with the final move so I'm not completely alone. My emotions are in turmoil though.

chloeb2002 Wed 04-Jan-17 02:53:54

Where are you moving? Can you parents not visit? For extended periods.. this can take time as I'm aware.. 10 years in my mum is finally at the point where there's a visa that allows her to spend 6 months here at a time and come and go as she wants.

MizzEmma Wed 04-Jan-17 03:12:08

We moved last year. I was ok saying goodbye to friends and even siblings but saying goodbye to my parents was really hard.

I was trying not to cry but silently wept on the way to the airport.

Interestingly the DC were fine saying goodbye to their GPs but found saying goodbye to close friends really difficult.

I will say that FaceTime is brilliant. The kids regular FaceTime with their friends and we FaceTime both sets of GPs every week.

If you haven't already get WhatsApp. It's a brilliant way to instant message your friends and family and share pictures.

Our move is temporary, we will be heading back to the UK at some point so we are just making the most of living in a new country while we can.

Heatherbell1978 Wed 04-Jan-17 11:46:40

chloeb2002 are you in Oz? We're making the move either this year or next to either Melbourne or Perth...lots going on to decide on...but I'd like my mum to come out a lot and she's keen too but wasn't sure on visa for her.

Mamaka Wed 04-Jan-17 21:11:42

HNY I could have written your post! My dc are 2 and 4 and adore their grandparents and the grandparents adore them. But I keep reminding myself of all the reasons we are moving and trying to focus on what we will gain from it (rather than lose).
We move in 3 weeks, I'm shitting myself.

MrsPeggyPatch Wed 04-Jan-17 23:07:19

I was just about to post something similar! We're moving in July, just for 3 years and with a good relocation package that gives us regular flights back, and I'm already a mess! It's come at a good time as the eldest will finish nursery but I'm dreading him saying goodbye to his little friends, and more so my grandma who he sees every week. Our parents already have trips planned to visit so That's a plus.
I definitely get the if it isn't broke don't fix it idea, and an questioning it a bit at the moment!

HNY2017 Fri 06-Jan-17 09:03:41

Thanks all, nice to know there are others in the same boat.

We are now in our new place! Packing up and leaving was pretty stressful and the goodbyes were pretty sad really. I just feel guilty - that we are excited about starting a new life and getting settled when we've left the grandparents heartbroken bank home. I'm a typical oldest child / people-pleaser so trying not to feel selfish is not easy. We are less than 2 hours flight away so visits should be do-able in both directions.

And I get all teary when I worry that our parents' health may fade and that we'll never get this time back, our DC will never get this time back and the GPs will never get this time with them again.

My eldest has just finished her first term at reception in the UK and had an absolutely flying start. She'll start in her new school in a new language on Monday - eeek!

God this all sounds doom and gloom. We are excited to be here overall and looking forward to it being our new normal. But this transition period is tough-going on the emotions.

Best of luck to you all who are also about to move!

elQuintoConyo Fri 06-Jan-17 09:14:31

It is scary, isn't it?

I am British but live in EU, my Dsis is in Australia. My DM spends more time there than in UK! They have built her a granny flat on their property.

We are a little different as we moved before having dc. But coming home from a visit or waving parents off after theirs is quite sad.

Is your move permanent or short-term? 2 hour flight spunds doable for regular visits.

HNY2017 Fri 06-Jan-17 18:14:05

We used to live in Australia pre-dc and that was a bit easier emotionally, despite the distance/cost ironically!

It's a permanent job but I guess it depends how much we like it as to how long we stay for.

It's probably about 6 hours door to door so very doable! I'm hoping we'll have lots of visitors!

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