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Great opportunity or too stressful? What would you do?

(20 Posts)
Heatherbell1978 Mon 21-Nov-16 18:50:50

So DH are planning (assuming we get 189 visa) to move to Perth, Australia mid 2018.
However an opportunity has arisen with DH's work who are expanding overseas. They want him (with family obvs) to move to Bangkok for 6-12 months (we will push for 6) followed by, possibly, a stint in Melbourne for a minimum of 12 months. DH may be able to move with company to Perth after this but if not, he can quit and we would move anyway.

We have a 2 yr old DS and I'm pregnant, due in Feb. We've already said we wouldn't consider leaving UK until DD1 is at least 6 months old (i.e. about Sep 17) which they seem OK with. Still to negotiate package but we'll assume they will not see us short.

I had planned a nice year off on maternity leave with a view to put Perth plans into action after that. I'm really anxious about taking a 6 month old overseas to Bangkok (I have been before but in my backpacking days...) and just in general all the moving around to cities that were never really on my radar before. We have a nice life here but want a warmer more outdoor lifestyle and I'm worried that neither Bangkok or Melbourne (which has quite an unpredictable climate) won't offer that and we'll feel worse off than here with no friends or support network (we have friends in Perth).
It's a great opportunity for DH though and could be an exciting adventure but I'm a born worrier and I can't get my head around changing our plans to this extent. I've travelled a lot in my younger days so I'm open the different cultures etc but so much more to think about with very young children in tow.....WWYD?

Coconutty Mon 21-Nov-16 18:52:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DavidPuddy Mon 21-Nov-16 18:55:53

I just read your post with increasing jealousy. What an opportunity and I would do it in a heartbeat.

I do live overseas, so I am not talking out of my arse.

toffeeboffin Mon 21-Nov-16 18:57:11

I'd go.

Never been to Bangkok but lived in Melbourne for a year and loved it. Fair enough, Melbourne isn't hot all year round but the coldest was around 10 degrees I think.

Will you get a relocation package etc?

Heatherbell1978 Mon 21-Nov-16 19:02:08

toffee we'd definitely get a relocation package in Bangkok as it would be an agreed temporary assignment. For Melbourne we might need to do some negotiating as I think they'd see that as longer term although we'll be making it clear we see it as temporary too. So I don't see money being too much of an issue - I would be able to work in Melbourne too.

HerRoyalNotness Mon 21-Nov-16 19:28:53

Go! Keep on with your plan for Perth and let's face it, even if it's not fantastic for the next 12mths, you'll have saved yourself the cost of moving as you'll already be in Melbourne. The company maybe be able to sponsor you for residency in oz as well, which would save you a bundle

ifink Tue 22-Nov-16 02:19:34

Go! Living in Asia is a fabulous opportunity (i'm in Jakarta...not as good as Bangkok by a long stretch!)

ShanghaiDiva Tue 22-Nov-16 02:27:44

I think moving to Bangkok for 6 months is not worth the effort IMO. By the time all the paperwork is sorted and you know your way around it will be time to leave. It can also take months for stuff you are shipping to arrive - assuming you ship to Bangkok and then on to Melbourne.
I moved to China in September - (8 years ago) and my air freight arrived in Novrmber!
Personally, I would push for 12 months in Bangkok and then on to Melbourne. Sounds like a great opportunity!

Alligatorpie Thu 24-Nov-16 14:31:08

I agree that 6 months in Bangkok doesn't really make a lot sense. It can take a while to sort out paperwork, find out where things are and get used to your new place. I would push for 12 months, if not longer.
I live in Thailand (small town on the coast) and love it!

Heatherbell1978 Thu 24-Nov-16 17:11:01

Thanks shanghai. Although we wouldn't actually move all our belongings to Bangkok as I think most rentals are fully furnished? So we'd try to live relatively light and our stuff would then be in Melbourne when we arrived there. What kind of paperwork? DH would be posted with his work so I assume they'd sort all the visas and I wouldn't be planning to work.

OlennasWimple Fri 25-Nov-16 13:02:24

I found it took a good year to feel settled overseas - before that I felt like we were on a long holiday.

Tweennightmare Sat 26-Nov-16 04:39:26

I have moved to quite a few countries with DH job and to be honest 6 months placements are really not worth the effort especially if followed up by another relatively short 12 month placement . I think it would probably be fine for DH but by the time you find your feet playgroups etc it will be time to move again.I always hated the first few months of placements when you had to make the effort to get out there and make friends I would push for at least 12 months in Bangkok and same if not longer in Melbourne. Also don't write off the lifestyle in Bangkok . I lived in KL and loved it, some great places nearby to travel , relatively cheap, expat community etc Compared with the remoteness and expense of Perth it would be a great experience

TheNewWife Sat 26-Nov-16 05:12:27

I had relatives with young children who lived in Bangkok, lovely expat community called Nichada Thani and they loved it. They'd moved from Australia too. Schooling etc was good on the IB system and they had many Brit friends too as well as South African, Canadian etc that they met whilst living there too.
I went to stay on hol and was very different to the tourist side of Bangkok

CakeRattleandRoll Thu 15-Dec-16 23:59:11

I agree that 12 months in Bangkok would be preferable to 6. Is it possible to do 12 months in Bangkok and skip Melbourne, go straight to Perth? I think I would find 3 big moves in 2 years, especially with two small children, too exhausting.

aretheyhavingalaff Tue 20-Dec-16 20:52:14

Heatherbell - have you been to Perth before? IMO it's not a particularly "outdoor lifestyle" For more than half the year it's too hot to go outside for long (and there's only so much time you can spend on a beach)

I'd take the opportunities you've been given (and Melbourne has a much more "user friendly" climate than Perth). Outside all year long (wearing proper clothes)

crazywriter Wed 21-Dec-16 18:37:05

I'd go for it if I had the opportunity. 6 months does sound too short to make the most of Bangkok and I'd opt for 12 months instead. But if it was 6 months, it will be an amazing experience. I say this as someone who only did a month in colorado working with the USAFA so not completely talking out my arse.

I've heard mix thoughts on Perth. Is there a particular reason why you want to move there? Maybe stick with Melbourne for the foreseeable and move to Perth later if you really want. 3 big moves inot such a short space of time is a hell if a lot.

FreddoFrog Thu 22-Dec-16 02:28:02

Another vote for going for it. But yes to three big moves in a short space of time would be very stressful. Moving internationally with little kids is really tough!! My pick would be 12 months in Bangkok and then hope that the Melbourne move turns into a long term one. Melbourne is a really lovely place to live, bring up kids etc.

LittleBoat Thu 22-Dec-16 02:35:52

Yes, I would go. Agree with pp comments about BK and Perth. If you haven't already visited Perth, definitely try to before choosing to settle down there. It's an acquired taste I think.

Glastokitty Thu 22-Dec-16 02:44:09

Err, I live in Perth and it absolutely is an outdoor lifestyle! Alright yesterday was a bit hot (42 degrees!) but we are outside all the time, beach, BBQs, body boarding, cycling, picnics, outdoor cinema, you name it! If I were you I'd try to get a longer swing in Bangkok and skip Melbourne entirely, you can always go for a visit, and three big moves would be hard work.

Heatherbell1978 Fri 23-Dec-16 10:18:32

arethey yes we have been to Perth. We visited in March when DS was 18 months mainly as a 'scoping out' trip. We had a few 40 degree days then and tbh we were fine. Both of us feel the cold so not too bothered by heat.
In Perth we have a network of friends who also emigrated from Scotland all with kids/babies the same age so that's obviously a big pull for us as well as the beach lifestyle. But we've been to Melbourne too and appreciate that has a lot to offer, just we wouldn't have any friends or family which may make a long term move harder.

The only reason Melbourne is on the table is DHs company has offices there (none in Perth) so have offered for him to do the role he'll be doing in Bangkok from there (but has to do Bangkok first).

We worry about Perths economy right now and think if we both have Oz work experience (as I would work in Melbourne too) that could help when we get there? Otherwise yes moving from Bangkok to Perth could be an option.

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