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Living overseas

Has Brexit/last year of politics made you change your mind about going home?

49 replies

DeliveredByKiki · 17/10/2016 08:04

We've lived in the US for 4.5yrs. I want to go back to the UK at some point. Last summer I was desperate to move home asap, since then I've started to work again which has helped the feeling is unfulfillment and worthlessness so I'm not in so much of a hurry but still want to go home.

When Brexit happened my immediate impulse was to go home to "my people", like an instinctive need to be muddling in the all the shit together. DH is convinced it's a reason not to move back. Obviously political situation here is even worse - but I just wondered if any of you were thinking of going home in the immediate future and we're now putting plans on hold?

FWIW I'm still planning to us to go back once we have citizenship here....

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ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 17/10/2016 08:16

there couldn't be a better time to come back here given that the dollar is at it's highest relative to the pound since the 1980's.

on the other hand unless Brexit is stopped we're about to become a third world nation

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DeliveredByKiki · 17/10/2016 08:42

Do you really believe it? I was devastated when it happened and continue to be devastated but maybe my devastation has waned a little because I live in the US where politics has become an utter joke, and not in a good or particularly funny way.

Sadly no way could I convince DH to move back soon - on the contrary he's very wary to make any decisions until Article 50 is invoked and we see what happens 2/3 years down the line

Of course if Trump gets in, all bets are off

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Ancienchateau · 17/10/2016 08:46

I plan to be back home within 2 years. If I could bring it forward I would. For me, being back in UK beats where I live by about a million times with or without Brexit.

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ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 17/10/2016 09:12

I'm just curious OP are you sure that you're not just experiencing homesickness or the grass is always greener? Perhaps take a holiday here before you make any snap decisions. This country is in a right pickle at the moment !

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specialsubject · 17/10/2016 10:03

Yes, it is terrible in the uk. Thousands of people murdered with guns each year, one of the world's most polluting countries, and a high chance of electing a racist misogynist to run it.

Or am I getting mixed up with somewhere else beginning 'united'?

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LornaUK · 17/10/2016 10:14

I think you are correct to be concerned over the current situation in USA. I would speak to your husband more about possibly moving somewhere else. It may not even be back to the UK. Given the new increased threat of nuclear war, the UK is most certainly not a safe country, either is all of Europe! Don't expect the situation to improve either, there are far too many ill winds blowing...

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FourToTheFloor · 17/10/2016 10:25

I think your dh is right to wait until A50 is triggered. I think it will be pretty shit here for a while, why come home in the middle of it.

But we are preapred to leave when/if it all goes to pot.

Special your sarcasm is a bit shit on this thread. The UK isn't some fucking utopia, even comparing it to the US Hmm

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BummyMummy77 · 17/10/2016 10:35

Special you're taking a very broad view of the US. Where I live isn't like that at all. I'd choose it over the UK any day and brexit is part of that choice.

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DeliveredByKiki · 17/10/2016 16:35

Special I hardly think my OP was making out that America was god's own country!! There are many reasons even without the current political climate I don't want to be here long term, and most are actually more reasons I WANT to be in the UK, which would be relevant no matter where I currently live...FWIW I also live in a very liberal area so what you describe though yes are my worries in general, doesn't actually affect me in a day to day way.

Claudia I go home every year and there's always a persistant homesickness prevailing but ultimately even without it (I'm not currently that homesick compared to other times) I really want my children to be secondary educated in the UK, closer to family and life long friends when they're teenagers, closer to other countries and cultures (even if we do need visas in the future to visit them), able to attend British Universities as domestic students if they wish (you have to be resident for 3 years before applying) and growing up with a sense of Britishness....DD was 2 months when we moved here, I don't want them to grow up with a lot of the mentalities of Americans or their basic belief structure (although there are definately really great things about Americans that the British lack, like self belief, I didn't realise how self deprecating we really are as a nation until I moved here) so for me it's not really a case of if we move home but when.

I would move home tomorrow but at the same time am ok with sticking out a few more years, I can't wrap my head around not going back....but the long term repercussions of Brexit do worry me

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sheikhandbake · 17/10/2016 19:15

Our initial game plan was to move home in 3 years time - a few months after Brexit is likely to have taken place. I was absolutely gutted at the result as I think it will mean delaying our return to the UK due to the jobs market. In DH's sector there have already been very public announcements on very real investments being diverted from the UK to mainland Europe (not just hypothetical investments).

In my head I've adjusted to being here for an extra two years and have started buying things for the house that I was putting off as we are hunkering down for the long haul and I want to make this more of a long term home.

Oh and the whole IndyRef2 thing is making things even worse, that announcement the other day made me wonder if we will ever have a good time to move home.

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Laptopwieldingharpy · 17/10/2016 21:06

Our plan was semi retirement in Spain. Not anytime soon if we have to opt for investor visas.

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DeliveredByKiki · 18/10/2016 06:01

I take back my last post. I am ridiculously homesick for all my friends and family

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feesh · 18/10/2016 06:26

We were planning on moving back within 3 years or so, but since Brexit we have decided that we will probably never move back.

I think the knock-on effects are going to be felt in the long-term - I am particularly concerned about the availability of funding in the science and environmental sector, which will ultimately lead to a loss of skills and a decline in the overall educational quality offered in the UK. So I am not sure any more if my kids will be going to a UK university when their time comes. At the moment, a UK degree is held in high regard, but I don't know how long this will continue (the UK education system was already being eroded by various bad government decisions anyway IMHO).

Then there is the more practical problem that there will probably not be any jobs for DH or I once article 50 has been triggered.

I think we see ourselves as long term expats now, maybe settling somewhere like Oz or NZ in the long term, but until then just playing it by ear.

We were going to buy a UK house this year, but we have put those plans on hold permanently now.

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scaryteacher · 18/10/2016 09:43

LornaUK Given the new increased threat of nuclear war What new increased threat? Do tell. Given where dh works, I'd have heard about that and I haven't; neither have we plans to move back to UK until his contract abroad finishes in 2019. If there were a threat of nuclear war, he'd have me moved back pronto.

OP I intend to move back as soon as (or before) dh's contract ends, if I can persuade him that he doesn't need to take all his leave in 2019. Much as I enjoy where I am living, Cornwall is home, and I can't wait to move back. Reading the articles in the news about how fragile the Euro is does make me wonder how long it can all limp along for. I can't see Germany agreeing to a full transfer union, which is what is needed, and also reading the article today about how Wallonia has effectively scuppered CETA for the EU (unless there are devious Belgian political manoeuvres going on, which wouldn't surprise me), I don't think the EU actually wants free trade as it is diametrically opposed to their need for the state to fiddle with things all the time.

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ShanghaiDiva · 18/10/2016 09:52

Dh's contract in China finishes in 2018 and we don't really want it to be extended so will be coming home then despite the Brexit fiasco.

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LornaUK · 18/10/2016 12:28

Hi Scaryteacher,

I'd rather not go into specifics, as I don't want to make this a political reply. I would encourage people to be aware of the current threats though. Many respected commentators are warning of a real & increased threat of major conflicts, including a nuclear response, sadly this is reality right now.

A Google keyword search should start a few alarm bells!

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trotzdem · 18/10/2016 18:12

Brexit has made it clearer that the UK isn't a great place for half German kids who chatter to each other in German - I feel quite unwelcome there, as though we would have to stop the children speaking German in public in case people think we are pesky forriners come to sponge off the NHS (which is substantially less good than German health care) or benefits (whereas we get generous child benefit in Germany and wouldn't get any in the UK...), whereas in our specific area of Germany I've never heard anything but positive comments about the kids speaking English.

Also of course the job market is hardly booming...

The UK isn't an inviting place atm and Brexit has encouraged me to make sure I have a right to stay in the EU by actually getting my act in gear and starting the ball rolling on applying for duel nationality (which is the one thing I apparently have in common with a lot of the prominent Leave politicians strangely enough).

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KeyserSophie · 19/10/2016 06:35

I think lorna may have stumbled over from the preppers board. Google also tells me that vaccinations cause autism, juice cleanses work, the CIA blew up the TT and Lord Lucan is riding Shergar with Elvis so I'll exercise caution in using that as a source of military intelligence.

I'm not a doomsayer on Brexit, mainly because I'm extremely pessimistic on the long term survival of the EU due to structural economic problems and the inevitable failure of a federal Europe. However, we are looking at turbulent times so it doesnt necesarily make sense to move back to the UK now unless you really want to- also, if you do want to move back in the next few years, it makes sense to carry on getting paid in $ and then buy GBP to ease your re-entry.

That said, turbulence everywhere really.

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Kuriusoranj · 19/10/2016 06:43

Yes it did/does. Our temporary move is now likely permanent. I am dreadfully homesick and simultaneously not interested in coming back. I don't want to live in a society that made that decision and nobody will convince me that there were any noble or positive reasons to vote for leaving. I felt this way after the vote and nothing has happened to change my mind since. I am angry and sorrowful and sickened.

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LornaUK · 19/10/2016 12:03

KeyserSophie

It takes effort to counter the steady stream of cr@p, we are bombarded with every moment. If you want to be bamboozled, do nothing... or alternatively do some research & make informed opinions.

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EleanorRigby123 · 19/10/2016 12:10

@scary @keyser

Lorna's fears are not imagined and Theresa May seeems to agree with her...

www.independent.co.uk/news/theresa-may-trident-renewal-nuclear-attack-threat-labour-free-vote-a7141826.html

Russia Ukraine
Russia Middle East
China US in South China Sea
North Korean proliferation
Terrorists seeking WMD.

We live in a very unstable world.

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KeyserSophie · 19/10/2016 13:45

Having trident is a long term decision - it's not about what might or might happen in the next 12-24 months but about fundamental uncertainty on a 20 or 25 year view. I absolutely agree with keeping Trident. I absolutely don't see any imminent reason for anyone to nuke anyone anytime soon. It's not in anyone's interests.

China doesn't want to nuke their customers and N Korea has no more reason to do it tomorrow than yesterday or last year. Russia doesn't really want to nuke anyone either- they just want the population to unite against the foreign enemy rather than focus on internal economic meltdown due to the oil prices. I mean, nuking is a high risk strategy. If you do it, and your missile gets shot down, then what? It's not like it's going to end well for you whatever the result.

Put your tin hats away FGS.

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EleanorRigby123 · 19/10/2016 13:56

Thanks, Keyser. But I would rather go with the government on this one as I suspect they are quite well informed.

John Sawers, ex head of M16 also agrees.

www.theguardian.com/politics/2016/oct/12/world-faces-cold-war-era-threat-levels-former-mi6-chief-sir-john-sawers

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stuckinny · 19/10/2016 17:32

Delivered I'm in the same boat. I've been here for 14 years now and still haven't lost the desire to move back. DS and I were all set to move two years ago (flights booked, etc) but my divorce hasn't been finalised and it was something I needed to sort here rather than try to do it from the UK. I sometimes wonder if it's the case of 'the grass is greener' but as a single parent with no family here I really do believe that we'd be better off in the UK.
With all that said, DS has settled in school (I moved him once I decided to stay) and I'm reluctant to move him again for the moment.
It's not an easy decision to make. I have citizenship here now but if I do move and know that I won't be moving back I'll probably give it up.

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DeliveredByKiki · 20/10/2016 01:03

How old is your DS stuckinny?

To be honest all the talk of nuclear threat is a red herring considering where I live and where I call home. If it's going to happen, we're all going to hell in a handbasket no matter where we live.

I am interested in what the long term repurcussions will be on quality of life, and quality of education (especially university) but then maybe none of the politics really matter at the end of the day, things go like a rollercoaster, great couple of years, shit couple of years, your own experience sometimes at odds with the majority of others, sometimes in line...my reasons for wanting to go home aren't tied at all to politics but I'm just wondering if I ought to be considering politics more strongly in my decision.

Ultimately though, unless everyone I love and care about leaves, the UK will always be home and I will always want to return. I feel staying to get citizenship is a good compromise, it leaves the door open so we can return if needs be, and I will have given it 8 years (ugh soooooo long)

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