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If you moved back "home " for your children's education ?

(19 Posts)
habibihabibi Fri 29-Apr-16 19:36:26

Like , I imagine many, our expat lives are longer than we anticipated and having left the UK childless, we now have two in an international primary school.
Currently debating with DH whether or when we should up and move back so the children get the "best" education.
My husbands choice is to continue in his role and for me and the children to repatriate. I think as they are Pre-Prep aged we have plenty of time. I would rather stay together for primary and perhaps consider the move in Year 7 or even for Year 9. They are happy and thriving in their school here BTW.
Thoughts ?

elQuintoConyo Fri 29-Apr-16 19:42:15

Where are you a foreigner in?

We are abroad, wouldn't consider moving back for education reasons, definitely wouldn't leave DH out here and go back myself.

There are pros and cons in education in each country in the world.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Fri 29-Apr-16 21:58:12

Why do you think they will get a better education in the UK?

Will you be using private schools regardless?

I think the UK state system is no better than the state system where I live - though there are plenty of things I would change here too... Both systems have very different pros and cons, but as it would be impossible to keep the children truly, genuinely bilingual in the UK, their overall (not solely school) education is likely to be better if we stay in Germany.

I most certainly wouldn't split a family across international boarders in order to send children to school in the UK unless I had my own reasons for wanting to live in a different country to my husband . Do you really think the family unit would survive that as a long term arrangement? In a few cases it does, but it often doesn't... If your marriage breaks up that may well have an impact on your children's education; for most people that can't be helped, but taking that risk deliberately and telling yourself you are doing it "for" the kids seems foolish (and you will have to be careful not to burden your kids with responsibility for a huge but unasked for and unnecessary sacrifice you have chosen to make on their behalf).

sunnydayinmay Fri 29-Apr-16 22:02:27

Surely it depends on where you live, and what type of education you want?

I know some friends who intend to stick with international schools for the duration.

Another moved back with dcs, leaving her DH abroad, but they were aiming for a specific Public School and wanted to he back by year 7 for pretests and then common entrance.

habibihabibi Sat 30-Apr-16 04:03:07

We are in the Middle East.
Should we have stayed in the UK they would have been in London independents. Both interviewed and were offered places last September but we decided to let them enjoy the sunshine a little longer and I wasn't sure I'd was ready for having them in somewhere so competitive.
Now the eldest is flying ahead academically and though perfectly happy in himself my DH thinks he could do with somewhere that he'll have like minded peers and get more stimulation.
I am of your opinion , sundayinmay, it is an enormous sacrifice for a school. They might hate it and thought I love London, the though of effectively being a single parent there doesn't ignite me.

MyFriendsCallMeOh Sat 30-Apr-16 04:29:24

I don't see the point of moving children from a school where they are happy and thriving and also away from a parent. If it ain't broke....

DesertOrDessert Sat 30-Apr-16 05:23:26

Were in the ME.
It's a long way off, but I've said back in the UK for oldest applying to secondary.
Initial school with space, and I was saying we were coming back at he end of the school year, but notw in a British School, so back to secondary in UK.
But we would probably be going back to UK state.

BigGreenOlives Sat 30-Apr-16 05:39:36

Do you need to check U.K. regulations for residency? I don't know how it works but check requirements for university applications. We moved back when our oldest was about to start primary as we didn't have the same range of schools you do somewhere larger & we had friends whose children found the move to grey Northern Europe at 10/11 very hard.

Kuriusoranj Sat 30-Apr-16 05:58:31

We won't move for the school, but it will influence the timing IYSWIM. We're coming to the end of our window if we want our children to have a stable run at secondary school. We're planning to be gone from our location (although not back to the UK but on to our final destination) by 2 years from now so that my oldest can start secondary at the beginning of the intake. I think that's fairly common.

There's no way we'd plan a deliberate family split like that, though. 6 months max while things get settled, but no way a semi-permanent arrangement.

ifink Sat 30-Apr-16 06:06:30

Thinking of heading home so that DD can have last two years of primary school in the UK and maybe at a push one year so just year 6. She has never attended school in the UK or a British school in fact so its going to be a big change and I really don't want her to go straight into secondary (private or state) with no experience of the UK schooling system. But thats my view on it, I know others who have no such concern and will head home (UK) for secondary and not before.

crazycatladyonthecorner Sat 30-Apr-16 08:13:41

I have spent years here convinced that the only way my children would be happy and well educated was if we moved back to the UK.
When I stopped fretting, planning, worrying about when, where and how we could make the move, it hit me that the children have everything I ever wanted for them right here, right now
I realised that it was my fears that were fueling my indecision and anxiety about being here. It was never anything to do with the kids education, I was just using that as my get out of jail free card.
My children have a great school, good education, lovely friends, and are perfectly happy here. It took me a long time to accept and appreciate it all though.
It's tough, and since there are no 100% guarantees with either choice I sympathise.

CrazyMaizie Sat 30-Apr-16 08:31:22

Watching with interest. In a similar situation OP. Looking at certain schools intake per year, (low no. Of spaces next year, higher year after as new classes open up, v low spaces year after that), testing, preparation for testing, needing to be in catchment area for certain schools when you apply... It brings forward move dates by at least a year and DH role not due to end yet (unlikely to get such good terms in UK). We're considering state and independent. Our big issue is that we would potentially take another international move, which makes the whole 'going back to the UK for education' a bit pointless. However don't want to miss the boat so to speak. Crazycatlady probably has a very valid point!! Hmm....

BlossomMagic Sat 30-Apr-16 08:34:37

Does anyone know the residency requirements to qualify as "local" students for uk universities?

Ancienchateau Sat 30-Apr-16 12:05:22

This is a tough decision and one I wrestle with almost daily. I think if your DC are happy and thriving then it is important not to break your family up if you possibly can.

I have 3 DC who are all doing very well academically in local schools but one is very unhappy. He still has a place at a London selective if he wants it and it is like a gleaming jewel luring me home. Like crazycatlady I don't need much excuse but would be giving up a lot if we did go back just for that, not least that DH would stay here.

ShanghaiDiva Sat 30-Apr-16 13:32:15

You normally need three years residency in the UK to pay local university fees.

lifeisunjust Sat 30-Apr-16 14:09:00

If you're in the EU, it's same as if you're in the UK for English universities. For Scottish universities, it is fees free for EU residents (except the English, Northern Irish, Welsh residents).

jomidmum Sat 30-Apr-16 14:36:17

We are moving back at the end of the summer so DS can start Year 9 in a UK school. We have home educated for 4 years and there is a total lack of home ed community / shared learning where we are. We've considered the British School here but:
a. it would take him 60-90 mins each way each day on the school bus
b. the fees are extortionate
c. the educational standard is pretty poor once you reach IGCSE stage
So, the children and I will repatriate and hubbie is staying here. We'll just see how it goes.

lifeisunjust Sat 30-Apr-16 16:05:56

An alternative to taking an entire family home, if it's just one child who is unhappy and you believed their life would be transformed with a UK education, there is an excellent network of UK State boarding schools, more places available 14-18 than lower years. You don't pay for education, just for residence, with fees from 10k-15k.

I have one child currently in state UK boarding at huge financial sacrifice for 2 years, but his life has been vastly improveded and his UCAS score is Oxbridge entrance level. He would never have done in local schooling where we are due to lack of motivation.

fussychica Mon 02-May-16 13:51:03

Returned when DS went to university. We would never have split the family.

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