When does it get easier? Unhappy in Michigan.

(2 Posts)
elspethUK Mon 04-Apr-16 23:41:04

Roughly two months ago we relocated from Leeds to suburban Michigan, USA for dh's work. He is happy at his job here, and it is a good position, but me and my daughter are not nearly as happy. P is almost 15. She was open to moving but now that she is here asks daily to go back home.

She is a second year/sophomore in high school here. When she started all the girls in her class thought she was Australian (dh and I get that too). When they found out she is English they all asked her whether or not she knows Cara Delevigne or the Queen. She says she feels like a zoo animal and there is nothing to do for fun here. Most of the teenagers here go to the mall or sport for fun. She spends hours on the phone with her friends in Leeds and I'm worried that this is what's stopping her from opening up to making friends at school. Younger daughter on the other hand made up a bunch of nonsense about being related to Kate Middleton and living in a castle, which I found out later and she has since dropped her story. She has adjusted much better and can now imitate a perfect American accent, although apparently everyone at school is jealous of her accent.

As for me, I miss home much more than expected. I imagine if we were somewhere like San Francisco or New York the transition might be easier but so many of the things we love about home is not available here. It's only a 2-3 year position and if it were just me, I would wait it out but I'm concerned about older daughter, I've never seen her this unhappy. I am considering going home at this point, which dh is open to but really enjoys his job

First of all do people mistake your accents for Australian all the time? (Is it just a northerner thing? because I think Australian accents sound more American than English) How long did it take you to adjust and find friends? How long did it take your teenagers to adjust? At what point do you give up and go home?

ksb76 Tue 05-Apr-16 16:27:49

My two are younger than yours so I can't help you with the teenager side of things, but if you hop onto Facebook, and look for the 'I am a triangle' group, you will learn that for most people moving, it generally take s between 9-18 months for them to really feel settled in either a new location, or at home once they have been abroad. So hang in there! It's completely normal. If you go to the Facebook group, you can look and see if there is a triangle group in your area - it might help just to have a few people who you can talk to locally who are also going through the same thing. It's always much easier for our partners who have the jobs as they slot right into normal life, but for those of us who have the job of recreating the family, with all the other social side of things it's much harder,

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