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DD1 devastated at moving

(12 Posts)
Alligatorpie Tue 26-Jan-16 21:31:33

Yesterday dh and I were offered contracts in Thailand. We were really excited but didn't want to tell anyone until we had signed the contracts. DD (10) knew we had interviewed and had told us she didn't want to go as she didn't want to leave her bff. We were emailing some questions about the job and she figured it out. She went ballistic and cried for an hour before finally going to bed.
We are going on holiday on Friday for 2 weeks so we were going to tell her then. We had known for less than 3 hours when she found out. We do plan to accept.
She has been to Thailand a few times and has always been very happy there. There are so many positive things in terms of school, house and location for her. But right now she is devastated and I don't know what to do for her. She was happy to.leave our former location but remembers her first day at school here 2 years ago ago when she didn't know anyone and doesn't want that to happen again. She has a large social circle and will really miss her friends.
Sorry that was long. Would very much appreciate any tips or ideas to help her. Thanks so much.

Laptopwieldingharpy Wed 27-Jan-16 00:45:37

It is hard at that age!
I the coming weeks and months give her lots of opportunities to make small decisions and she will need a few areas in her life where she feels in control.
I dread our next move. DS 12 lives as a pack with his teammates.

sayatidaknama Wed 27-Jan-16 14:11:09

Aw it's really hard. Mine were 11, 9 and 7 when we moved. Tell her she can keep in touch via Skype and the net generally and being Thailand you'll probably be inundated with hopeful free holidays. Maybe her bff could come and stay? Treat it like an adventure and concentrate on all the good bits. International schools have such a high turnover it's not the same as turning up as the new girl in an English school, presuming that's where you are now?

Alligatorpie Sat 30-Jan-16 10:55:32

Thanks for the replies. After a day or two, she actually started to get excited about the move. We made a list of all the great things that we can do once we move and that seemed to really change her attitude. I know it will be a roller coaster of emotions the next few months, but when she is down, I will pull it out again. Thanks again for the support!

Donthate Sat 30-Jan-16 10:57:29

Ah good luck with your move.

kelda Sat 30-Jan-16 10:58:16

Glad to hear she is getting excited about it now. Tell her that she will still see her friends when she visits the UK, and also let her Skype/ email them frequently.

Laptopwieldingharpy Sat 30-Jan-16 14:14:16

good to hear! all the best!

Alligatorpie Sun 31-Jan-16 02:10:05

Thanks, we are in Vietnam right now on holiday and keep comparing it too Thailand...so it is all very positive. We live in Shanghai now, and the weather is shite so that is something for all of us to get excited about!
She is also pretty excited that she will get her own room (even though she shares with her sister by choice now). I am sure she will be fine. This is her third international move and hopefully we will stay there for a while smile
Thanks again!

alteredimages Sun 31-Jan-16 18:06:59

Good luck with your move Alligator! Thailand sounds lovely, and I am sure that if you keep reminding your DD of all the advantages she will stay happy. Is there any possibility of her bff and family coming to visit once you are settled? I know most people don't need much encouragement to visit Thailand!

OTOH you could always threaten her with going back to your old posting if she is really insistent. grin

ohtobeanonymous Sun 07-Feb-16 09:17:26

My DD1 was similarly disinclined to move (first international move!) and it was difficult for the first 6 months or so. There is still talk of 'going home' but far more appreciation and enjoyment than anticipated. Also in Thailand, so thoroughly recommend the lifestyle! Where are you heading?

SeasonalVag Fri 19-Feb-16 08:39:07

On my first day at an international school, I was so comforted to see that 1/3 of our school year was new just like me. Because there's such a high turnover in these places, it's really easy to integrate. If somebody had reassured me kn that, I'd have felt much more relaxed about it. Good luck.

Turquoisetamborine Fri 19-Feb-16 21:01:58

We used to live in Thailand. It's an amazing country to live in. She'll love it.
My mam rang the school in advance and asked for me to be introduced to some of the girls before school started which really helped.

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