I think we're coming home

[fatowl]

after 12 years in Asia.
The decision is made 100% yet, but we have a perfect storm of

1. DHs job is not secure, he works in oil and gas and people are being fired left right and centre. He will stay here as long as his job lasts but we want to reduce expenses in anticipation.
   
2. DD3 is currently in Y9- once she starts Y10 and GCSEs we can't move (see above). She is currently in a very good, but huge international school. She is an average face in a 150+ year group. I'd like her to go to a smaller school. I've seen the school she would go to in the UK- Private but about half the fees we pay now, 25 in her current year group.
   
3. My dad has cancer. I want to be home.
   
   Dd1 is 21 and already in the UK. DD2 is in Y13 and whatever we do, will likely be on a gap year next year.
   I can't tell anyone in real life yet. Dare not get my family's hope up.
   
   DD3 is up for it as long as we can get a dog , but it will be a very different school enviroment.
   I have a part time (low paid) job which I'll be sad to leave, and a volunteer role I LOVE (but I could continue that in the UK)
   
   Just rambling (because I can't IRL) and beginning to look at all the shit we've accumulated over 12 years, that I will now have to fit into a two bed apartment for dh and a small three bed semi for us.
   
   Anyone with words of wisdom or in the same position?

[happystory]

Oh what a mix of emotions you must be feeling. Have no experience of this but it sounds like it would be a good time to do it for the family, and for you to be close to your dad.

[originalmavis]

Was it always the Plan to come home? The longer you leave it for you and the kids the harder it will be - although it's more stressful when it's a push rather than a pull.

I was too far away when both my parents were I'll and I regretted not seeing them as much as I'd have liked.

Can your husband start lining up interviews here? There are agencies that specialise in that field (well in Aberdeen anyway). If be more comfortable with ducks in a row (I'm a terrible mimsy and crave certainty).

[magimedi]

Also have no experience of this, but at one stage of life moved 14 times in 20 years!!!

So, I would urge you to start sorting stuff - physical stuff- out now. Declutter & consider what you don't need. So much easier to do it slowly & steadily than to be pressured into doing it in a mad dash a few weeks before you are leaving.

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

[NatD1]

Wishing you all the very best Fatowl. I've always thought it's a much bigger, more difficult decision to return than leave in the first place.

Good luck

[GreenSand]

Are you thinking of DH and DD2 staying in Asia til Alevels are over, and you and DD3 coming back to the UK now, or you and both girls coming back in the summer?

O&G is shedding jobs left right and centre ATM in the UK. Will DH get a job, nearish your Dad?

I think starting to go through things slowly, and decluttering will make it easier when you move. We've just left UK as at risk of redundancy, and know contractors in Aberdeen who cannot get a job for love nor money. Look into it.

Hope everything works out for you.

[fatowl]

Wow, so many replies! Thanks for all your comments.

Dh will stay in Asia as long as his job lasts, which is why he will need a small apartment. It can be much lower budget though as he'll have no need to be on the International school bus routes.

I'll be moving to Wales to be near mum and dad.
If his job finishes, and he can't get anything else, he'll come back too. If the job is still there is two years, and/or the O&G industry is looking better, we could look at coming back for DD3 to do A-levels (maybe) or dh could get something in the UK. It really is a case of wait and see.

The school is a slight concern, but I think she will like it. She is pretty easy going. She has lost a load of expat friends in recent years.

We came here for 18 months in 2003. It was never meant to be forever, but it just happened. I do want to go.
I catch myself being a bit sad about the odd thing about leaving (eg this might be our last xmas here, last CNY etc) but feel happier about this time next year I'll be home (if you follow me). I have good friends here, but the pull of family now dad is ill is stronger.

I am starting to mentally make lists

[fatowl]

We're looking at coming back in July once DD2 has finished Alevels ready for dd3 to start Y10 in Sept

[Laptopwieldingharpy]

You have made up your mind. Seems like it is a well thought out solid decision. Soldier on and enjoy your year!

[Scotinoz]

Would love to hear how it all pans out! Husband and I are currently debating moving our two small children back to the UK. We left independently in 2000 (him) and 2007 (me), both for 'a year or so'...

Best of luck!

[papooshka]

We moved back last summer after 12 years in Singapore. It was really hard to leave but the right time for us. Be prepared for it to be hard for the first year (sorry but being honest!), my first year was really hard, but I feel now after 18 months things are looking up and I'm feeling much more settled. Still miss Singapore but I love loads of stuff about being back too. Theres a great FB page called 'I am a triangle' which is a support for returning expats. Good luck!