I am having reverse culture shock

(33 Posts)
reversecultureshock Tue 29-Jul-14 10:44:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
dalziel1 Tue 29-Jul-14 11:26:31

My best advice would be to decide never to accept cold calls and sign up for TPS. It WAS a scam this morning and you are probably on their target list now as someone who will entertain their calls at least for a while.

We moved home from abroad a few years ago. At first I couldn't drive past a supermarket without wanting to go in and just gaze at the easy availability of all the things I loved and had missed.

If you moved abroad, then you probably experienced the homesickness that always seems to kick in after about 4-6 months. Maybe that's what you are going through now? If it is, then you'll remember how the new place is paradise at first, then a little disappointing, then awful and finally its just a place to live. It will be the same here - but with the added advantage that you aren't a foreigner this time.

AnnDaloozier Tue 29-Jul-14 11:28:40

I have no issue with online delivery.

Scammers exist in every country

alardi Tue 29-Jul-14 11:35:36

Are you in London, OP? What kind of jobs would the tradespeople not come do for you?

Admiraltea Tue 29-Jul-14 12:37:29

Maybe check with friends and family how you may come across on the phone?
I have noticed with an ex expat teacher at dd1's school that his manner on return to the UK was very abrupt and condescending, was remarkably unpopular with students and parents.
BTW I don't bother answering cold calls, and screaming at people down the phone is unnecessary. Just put the handset down.

SwiftRelease Tue 29-Jul-14 12:39:15

Feel your pain! Were you in SE Asia or US? For me, many things height of efficiency compared to where we were. But yes, "service" culture - gardener (fully qualified and ££££) half-weeded a patio, failed to mow when asked to blitz our garden. "Oh you didn't specifically say what you wanted".!! How crap is that? Surly nurses with attitude in front of scared small child. Sigh. But mainly its me. Yea some things suck. But they do everywhere. Its just different things suck from what am used to.

I miss- warm and friendly people, ease of contacting kther paretns --no data protection bollocks which makes orgnais

SwiftRelease Tue 29-Jul-14 12:41:20

Whoops yes the organisation of parties without stalking parents when you don't have class list??

Also miss- climate, outdoor activity clubs, fresh seafood, optimism. Big sky. Get up and go.


specialsubject Tue 29-Jul-14 12:48:05

how strange. Here in my bit of the UK the weather has been beautiful. The air is fresh, the water is drinkable from the tap, there are no disease-carrying insects, the flowers are in full bloom, the evenings are still light late. The sky is the same size as everywhere else. There are plenty of outdoor activities, some even have clubs.

dodgy tradesmen, online problems and scammers are everywhere. You could always go to a physical shop of course. Register with the TPS, opt out of the open electoral register (you see, data protection is quite a good thing) and don't give out your details to all and sundry.

SwiftRelease Tue 29-Jul-14 13:32:33

Ah but depends where you've been to compare- a clear cloudless sky in vast empty landscape always seems much bigger. Not that helpful to dismiss someone's issues on returning. Reverse culture shock is a recognised condition. Significant change for anyone moving back. Maybe you havent done this or are a rare exception. We're not all the same!

specialsubject Tue 29-Jul-14 14:10:31

Yes, I've been away for a long time and yes I do empathise - but I am grateful for all the things I list.

the UK is not the place for a permanent cloudless sky, that would make a desert anyway. (is that the empty landscape you liked?) Plenty of cloudless days though.

you have just dissed the entire country on the basis of some bad/lazy/useless people. 'RCS' is a recognised phenomenon, but so is the fact that your problems travel with you.

my shock on returning was the much busier roads and the much higher utility prices!

ohtobeanonymous Tue 29-Jul-14 15:09:48

Sadly even the TPS can't protect you from all cold callers...

Nowhere is perfect, so good luck dealing with the disappointments and frustrations of UK life...hopefully some positives will soon outweigh them.

If not, is there a chance you could return to the expat life?

SwiftRelease Tue 29-Jul-14 15:13:41

Special- was that to OP? If to me, i was xertainky nit dissing whole country, fgs! Making fair comment from MY perspective as relevant to thread. You're welcome to think what you like about the English skies. God!

timetosmile Tue 29-Jul-14 15:19:51

OP...go easy on yourself! It's a big, big transition and take your time.

CreamPaint Tue 29-Jul-14 15:25:49

Oh god we're going back soon. I hate RCS - no one but other expats even get what it is. It's much harder than the culture shock of a foreign country, I think.

Parks and Stilton cheese. That makes it all worthwhile. smile

reversecultureshock Tue 29-Jul-14 17:04:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OP’s posts: |
lljkk Tue 29-Jul-14 19:19:23

Where have you been? I think someone who knows both cultures well could be a good sounding board for you on the frustrations you're having.

specialsubject Tue 29-Jul-14 19:30:34



outtolunchagain Wed 30-Jul-14 08:00:55

You should read the BT thread on the active board for examples of how ghastly the phone and internet service system is .I am afraid they are awful, however please try not to judge all service providers on that basis .

Cold callers , I never answer my land line and have call screening .

It's not surprising some things are a shock , you have moved country again and although it should be familiar in your mind , in fact it's just like being new anywhere, just take your time .

echt Wed 30-Jul-14 11:03:36


Unhelpful. But then you're not coming back, which is good.

The OP is trying hard here.

bronya Wed 30-Jul-14 11:18:58

I would say you need to harden up a bit. We're in a free market economy, so some companies are awful, most are average, some are good. Read reviews for EVERYTHING before you buy it, get personal recommendations for tradespeople, only order from reputable companies if you want a decent service - that sort of thing. I'd have told the internet people that if it was going to take that long, I'd use a different provider. A friend of mine just switched over - they had internet with one company until the last minute, then the guy came and by the end of the morning the new connection was ready. You'll soon be used to the UK again!

desertmum Mon 04-Aug-14 09:28:12

I've been back for 11 months - and finally, at last, it feels easier. Agree re getting work done - nightmare! All the rules and regs are crazy for many basic things - but are a sign of the society we live in I guess. I had to keep remembering that i can't park on the pavement outside the bank for 'just five minutes', that double yellow lines will incur a fine and that I have to find a legal parking spot if I want to buy a pint of milk. I have found it hard to integrate and make friends, but that is probably as much my fault as other people's - but I just keep telling myself what we've told the kids for the last twenty years of country moves - home is where our family of four is and as long we and the dogs are together then all is well.
It's hard - and while some people like green British countryside some like the desert - which I miss terribly - that complete and utter silence that I've never expereinced anywhere else in the world. But for now I am happy with the sound of bird song and tractors.
Hope it gets better for you.

Rojak Fri 05-Sep-14 07:07:16

So happy to see this thread and realise there is a phrase for what I am going through - back in the UK a month now so completely feel and understand you.

Small hijack - did anyone come back with a young teen and how have they settled into new school?

DS (13) is struggling as he's finding school isn't as welcoming as international schools - where kids are used to newcomers all the time.

Granted, it's only been a week since he started.

Would appreciate any tips for how to help him through this.

helzapoppin2 Fri 05-Sep-14 14:02:26

Welcome back Reverse! It's hard, at first you feel like a stranger in your own country, not quite sure what's changed since you've been away, and the answer is.....mostly you!
It takes time. Lots of time, but slowly things change. You stop comparing here to where you came from. I must say, though, you've had bad experiences trying to get work done. I hope that changes in the future.

lilacmamacat Mon 15-Sep-14 20:37:07

Customer service, professionalism and the internet is even worse here in Ireland than in the UK. Can't bluddy wait to leave.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Tue 16-Sep-14 00:53:01

Where were you before OP?

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