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Anyone come back to the UK for a spell between international moves?

(13 Posts)
Pupsiecola Tue 25-Mar-14 09:13:42

Just that really. Wondering how long you were back and how you found it leaving again? Also where you relocated to.


LillianGish Tue 25-Mar-14 10:08:18

We've just done that sort of. In fact our base is France (although we are both British) so in fact we are technically expat in the UK. We are leaving again in the summer after six years to move back to Paris and then who knows where. I have mixed feelings - I always knew we wouldn't be staying so it hasn't come as a shock and we have had a good long stint so I can't complain. It has been great for the dcs to get a few years in Blighty under their belts so they are not total foreigners and lovely to be near parents (especially as mil recently died - so happy (if that's the right word) to have been here for that). My approach to moving around is that I although I always hate leaving that's only because I've enjoyed the posting so I'm confident that although I'll shed tears on departure I'll be thrilled and excited arriving in a new place (in the certainty I'll be shedding tears again in a few years time!) Actually I don't think you can embark on such a lifestyle unless you adopt this attitude. I also have a sneaky suspicion that if I was settled in the same place with the same life stretching ahead into infinity I'd be bored, fed up and teetering on the sort of mid-life crisis many friends are currently teetering on.

princessdesert Thu 27-Mar-14 02:21:49

We moved to the ME within a year od marriage and returned to the UK with children four years later.
After a year , we all moved back again (to a different gulf country)
In the UK DH's family smothered me and I missed the sun and relatively crime free lifestyle of the gulf.
The children have a much better time out here and are treated mich more inclusively by the community.

singaporeswing Thu 27-Mar-14 04:21:59

About to come on and ask the same thing!

We're coming to the end of a 2 yr project in Singapore, both happy to stay but short of a miracle, it won't happen.

DP is studying for a Master's and working full-time so we have decided best option is to do a short-term project in UK with his work and then move to Australia or South Africa.

I'm weighing up pros and cons (I'm British, project will be close to home) but feel cheated that my Singapore time is coming to an end, really enjoying my job and earning far more money than I could in the UK.

Can't help but feeling that I am leaving a great opportunity for the big unknown - despite the fact that I am "going home".

pupsiecola Thu 27-Mar-14 08:40:20

That's a shame singaporeswing. It's so hard being pulled away from somewhere earlier than you want. We can defo relate to the feeling cheated thing.

Can I ask why Oz or SA? And what timescale are you looking at?

We will go again when DH gets offered sth overseas but will be very choosy about location and probably won't be for another year at least. Even then we feel stupidly nervous about it. So hard to know what to do. I just wondered if most ppl go from one country to another - I don't think there are many who come back to the UK then go off again.

Good luck with everything.

Expatedout Thu 27-Mar-14 08:48:42

We're facing a similar predicament . Looks like my DH's contract is coming to an end here and he's likely to be heading to the Gulf. We came from there 2 years ago and I really haven't go the energy to go though yet another school move with no guarantee this will be the last. So I'm considering heading home to the Uk for the next few years untill the children get through school leaving Dh to roam the world alone and then join him later once the kids are at Uni ( or wherever)

pupsiecola Thu 27-Mar-14 10:02:24

How old are your kids expatedout? How have they found the moves?

We may end up doing the same if we're not confident about schools. DH won't pass up a great opportunity and tbh I wouldn't want him to given that the last one was cut short. But we wouldn't live in different countries lightly.

Expatedout Thu 27-Mar-14 10:28:42

Pupsiecola they are 12 and 16 so it's getting more and more difficult to move them . They have been out of the UK for almost 7 years and each have been to 4 schools already (in 3 different countries) They have coped really well but I worry it can't be good for their education all this moving and I know they have gaps in their education. So I am determined this is the last move and the only way to ensure that is to go back to the UK

pupsiecola Thu 27-Mar-14 10:52:34

How have they found leaving old friends and making new ones?

Expatedout Thu 27-Mar-14 11:10:13

I think leaving friends (and being left!) is part and parcel of being an expat child. They have coped by making sure they have lots of friends as oppose to one best friend. They have both kept friendships from previous countries but as time goes by these tend to fade out. I think it helps that they have only gone to international schools where high turnover of children is the norm so it's quite easy to make friends. Not sure how they will cope back in the UK where children may have known each other since nursery.

pupsiecola Thu 27-Mar-14 11:16:01

We returned to a new area last May having been away for a year. Before that we had lived in the same town since DCs were born.

They joined a school last year where children had known each other since Reception. DS2 (then 8) settled very well and had lots of friends from day one. DS1 (then 10) struggled a bit as he first gelled with a group who actually weren't really his cup of tea. But now he has a good group of friends - took him 3 months I'd say. When they're new and they've lived in another country they are usually welcomed with open arms by the other kids - it's quite exciting to them I think.

It was harder for me TBH. Cos all those mums had known each other since year R and you really have to put yourself out there. I didn't feel like it initially due to a tough previous year, DH not being around half the time (was still in Asia) and DS2 breaking his leg in 2 places and being wheelchair bound. I just sort of put my head down and got on with it. However, I now have some really lovely local friends (not just through school) and I am starting a part time job after Easter.

Do you know where in the UK you will return to?

Xpatmama88 Thu 27-Mar-14 13:12:54

We did that. We had various postings to Far East, Europe, and Latin America. At the end, we opted to send our DCs to boarding schools in UK.
It's tough, we'd been on the expat route for the past two decades, we'd seen a lot, it's exciting when you are in a new city, and I think both of us are very adventurous.
As for our DCs, we think they are really world citizens, they have friends all over the world. They are confident and able, good language skills go a long way too.

singaporeswing Thu 27-Mar-14 13:42:01

DP is Aussie and his parents live in Joburg. He's got the possibility of a great job in SA but it doesn't really appeal to me.

I'm just starting out in my career, early 20s and just very wary of falling into the trailing spouse trap before actually being a spouse!

It's finding the balance between going somewhere good for both of our careers. DP earns twice my salary and my skill set is more portable so really need to consider best options for him.

Best of luck to you and your family - the joy of expat living. I feel like I've left my heart in the four different countries I've lived and worked in but have friends all over the world.

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