Do your parents visit you abroad?(39 Posts)
How often (if ever) do your parents come over to visit their grandchildren?
I haven't seen my parents for a few years now. They travel often and are both retired. They love a cruise or a trip to a Greek island, even Thailand but unfortunately never to Germany where we live. I know some people don't like to travel or go abroad but my parents go off atleast 3 times a year.
I keep getting e-mails about how sad it is that we can't make it over and what a shame it is etc. How they miss us. Maybe it's normal behaviour and when I'm a pensioner (and if I have got as much money as they have, which I doubt) I'll also be busy travelling and doing my own thing.
I just got thinking this week after yet another e-mail with please try to come over, shame we didn't see you this summer (we go back to school next week) and then my nice old lady neighbour crying as she told me about her recent visit to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and how she misses them.
Maybe I should send them an official invitation? My dc are teens and pay full price tickets now. Gone are the days when we could pop over outside the school holiday period all for 250.
Have lived in the Netherlands for 6 years. Parents came over once a year pre-ds and twice a year since he was born. DB and DSis' s hacd been over twice (once for our wedding). We go back to the UK 3 or 4 times a year.
You should definitely send them an invite and suggest visit some places all together.
When we moved to NY three years ago, my parents were very excited to come and visit but PILs did not bat an eyelid at the news.. Then my parents came six months after and still no word from PILs. They just kept sending emails begging us to come for Christmas and spend a month with them in the summer
never in my life But then, when DH turned 30, I invited them to come over and surprise him, which they did. Since then, they are visiting at least every four to six months and MIL even took a flight on her own for the first time to come help me when I had DD and DH had to go to the other end of the planet for two weeks.
They were just
being their usual snobbish selves and waiting for an official invite
We moved to Canada five years ago and then shortly after my sister moved to Australia. My parents visited each of us once, and then decided to have joint holidays nearby (Hawaii for us and NZ for my sister's family) but sadly didn't get to enjoy them as my father was diagnosed with a brain tumour and then died this spring. We also both had my nephew visit as part of his gap year travels. This summer my mother has just come to stay with us. That's it, as it's very expensive to visit either of us (and even worse for us to visit each other). We've been back three times, all paid for by my parents (golden wedding party, to see my dad before he died and then for the funeral). It cost 3-4 thousand pounds each time, so not something we could have funded easily ourselves.
When we were in NYC we had a few visits, but then it's a fun city on many people's list to visit and flights are relatively cheap. I don't resent the lack of visits because dh and I made the choice to move, it's just a sad consequence that we are only really connected by phone.
My mother has been out to Scotland from the US twice so far, and is planning to come out sometime soon after I have my baby. My dad has only visited once, and that was for my wedding. He would like to visit just after the baby is born too, but might not be able to. He is too wide and tall to fit comfortably into economy seats, and transatlantic business class seats are running at about $4k around the time the baby is due. Dad has offered to fly me, DH and baby out to see him once I am comfortable with air travel, though, so I think he is doing the best he can with the situation he is in.
My brother has also been out to Scotland only once, for my wedding, and that was only for a few days. However, he is younger than me, just finished his education, and has much less vacation allowance than I do - DH and I might offer to fly him out someday, as it will now be cheaper for us to do that, but DB would still only get to stay for a few days before having to leave.
Since DH and I have 2-3 times the vacation allowance my family does, we tend to be the ones saving and visiting them. My family try to make up for this by putting us up on spare beds and couches, and paying for pretty much all the food.
Mine are both deceased but PILs have never visited. Nothing unusual really as they never made an effort when I was 500 meters away with DDs as babies. Step son has visited 6 times in 10 years but work has prevented him from visiting recently.
been in oz nearly 5 years. Parents coming for the first time next month :D
We've been in Oz for nearly 2 yrs now, and my parents have never visited, as they can't due to ill health. My db has came in May last yr, and he's coming in September/ October this yr fir his 40th.
I really wish my dps could come, I however have been back to see them.
My ils, have both been twice each, they're divorced, so come separately. The last time mil came, she was an awful guest. I don't know what got into her
I, on the other hand, would like to move back, as miss everyone, and am finding it so lonely
I've lived in Sweden for 6 years. My parents came over the first year we were here but then couldn't travel as my dad was too frail and my mum had to care for him. He passed away last year. My mum has been over once since then. She won't fly so we can't buy her cheap flights and it's quite expensive to get a bus all the way through Europe instead. If we could afford more (she only has her state pension) she'd probably come over more.
My inlaws came over 3 times a year until this year. Now they have their first grandchild here in Sweden and we can't get rid of them. They're planning their next visit before they even get home.
Wibblypiglikesbananas we also live in a flat and only have the living room to offer as guest accomodation. Not ideal and we would love to find a house with a spare room. Just need dh's employer to give him a permenant job and not just contracts for a few years then it would be worth it (unfortunately that's life in science)!
LillyNotOfTheValley yes, I know all about those begging e-mails! Anyway, I've tried your tactic and wrote that they should come over for a visit but haven't heard anything since (over a week now), maybe they're thinking about it but I know for a fact that they always have a holiday abroad some time in September so that'll be planned and then it'll be too cold for northern Germany, maybe next year then. I guess I'll be getting the e-mails about Christmas to make me feel guilty again too.
I think if I lived on a different continent I might accept the lack of visits more as it's a heck of a long way and costs a fortune just for the flight but mainland Europe is still so cheap to get to outside schol holiday time of course.
WestieMamma sorry about your dad. It's a shame your mum can't get over more often now.
Nooka sorry about your dad, must have been a really hard thing to go through from so far away. Getting over from Canada must cost a fortune too and the older the dc the more it costs. Mine pay full price now.
I'm 11 hours away in 6 years my parents have been over 4 times I think, they skipped last year but are coming later in the year when my DC2 will arrive. I've also been home about 4 times.
They are quite good and come for about 3 weeks but they'll go away for a week in the middle to explore the country, think they've seen everywhere now though.
My DB also lives overseas but a 28 odd hour flight away, so they split visits between the 2 of us. I think as they get older it will be too far to Tavel and they won't be able to afford it. That's also the time my kids will be at school so holidays will be more expensive for us. Pls holidays in the UK are so expensive even if accommodation is free, so we can't afford to go home that often.
We only moved 4 months ago but my parents have 2 trips booked already! One for October then again for March - they've been desperate to come sooner but our summer is so hot I persuaded them to wait a bit longer. I imagine they will come over twice a year as long as health permits.
My sister has also booked to come out and I think she'll also come out twice a year - she loves holidays plus goes to Australia once a year so one of her trips to us will probably be enroute there.
My brother I doubt will come out, I wish he would and he'd love to but my SIL 100% refuses as its 'dangerous' and completely unsuitable for DCs - we're in Dubai! Apart from being hot I can't quite see her logic but that's her decision.
We will go back every summer but that's it, I am petrified of flying so no way can do it more than once a year!
My ILs live 15 minutes away so see them loads. My BIL may come out once every couple of years, as long as ILs pay his flights.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh god. Sleeping on a sofa bed in someone's living room would not excite me.
Why not arrange a B and B nearby.
I think though if you decide to move away you can't get shirty that everyone else is still where you left !
When we lived in Belgium my parents visited about 5 times a year, usually for long weekends. I probably went home (with/without DC/DH depending on whether it was a business trip or not) a similar amount of times. Combined with Skype chats at least twice a week and extended visits for DD1 to stay with them (when school/crèche holidays coincided with busy work periods for me), they have an extremely close relationship with DD1 that I honestly think developed exactly the same as if we had still been living down the road.
We paid for MIL to visit once (from NZ) and tried to talk to her once a week - but is less computer literate than my parents so Skype wasn't an option.
Now that we've moved to NZ, my parents came out to visit for 2 months over Christmas. They had a ball and are great houseguests really, but I'm not sure they'll be out again any time soon as the flight was very long for them and Mum is getting quite worked up about all the earthquake report. We're only due to be here another 18 months though before we go back home.
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