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missing family back home(6 Posts)
I'm really happy to have discovered this section on mumsnet. I've lived abroad for the last 7 years. My DD is nearly 2 and for the last six months or so I've been overcome with terrible homesickness. I'm feeling such a strong urge to go and live nearer family, being a mum has really changed me in that respect, although my life here is pretty good. I actually don't get on great with my parents, but I do miss my extended family and my inlaws are wonderful.
They love my dd to pieces, and would be so happy to babysit her if they lived nearer.
I am only just now starting to work again, and so money is tight, I'd like to earn more so I can visit more often, or move back home, I don't know, I feel so confused.
I wonder if I should listen to my feelings, and see if I can start talking to DH about my desire to move, or if I should just accept that I will never find the perfect place that ticks all my boxes. Because life here is wonderful in so many ways (apart from the homesickness/loneliness) that I might miss being an expat if I move back to the UK. Is the grasss always greener?
Has anyone else gone through this turmoil and what did you do?
What is it that is keeping you away? What are the good things about the expat life?
I live in Switzerland, in the lovely countryside. fresh air and a wonderful public transport system so it's easy to get about. I can afford to be a stay at home mum, which I don't think we could in the UK. I have made some good friends, although I'm not as close to them as my friends back home, but I don't really have any complaints apart from missing family and feeling sad I can't see them more often.
It is hard to reconcile. Are you there indefinitely ? We came back as parents became older . Still don't see much more of them than we did while we were away but the time was right to return.
Yes to grass is always greener, yes to sharing your dilemma, no to finding perfect place which ticks every box either in UK or overseas!!
I think having kids does re-centre you towards/away from your family of origin so coming relatively recently to motherhood is bound to have hit hard and to have been exacerbated by being a foreigner still despite the years under your belt.
All i would say is don't rush back because of yr family if you're not close to yours. If you were actually living in the UK you might find you get much leas attention from the in laws and friends, sadly. I do think people do pull out all the stops when we fly in once in a blue moon which is lovely but not indicative of their potential day-to-day involvement should we move back.
Skype/FaceTime are great for keeping in touch. I have lived away from my parents/home town for nearly 13 years (and it is a LONG way from the UK)
If your family are in the UK and you are in Switzerland, it is more than possible (surely) to travel back regularly to see people. When you are not around all the time, people generally make an effort to catch up...I know families who live little more than a few hours away from each other who never see each other because life gets so busy.
When my children were young we had a board with pictures of their extended family so they were familiar faces. Now we talk at least once or twice a week via the Internet...so cheap and easy to do.