Talk

Advanced search

DH will be made redundant and I feel very lost

(18 Posts)
RedundantExpat Wed 27-Feb-13 12:16:30

It's not official yet, so I am not allowed to talk to people in RL about it (and have nc'ed).

We are (currently) doing well financially but have just bought a house and are doing huge renovation works on it.

Don't know if or how long the DC will be able to continue at their school. Shall we stay or shall we go? We have no home base as moved around for decades.

DH and I try to see the positives in it but I feel so up in the air. Is anyone in a similar situation?

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 27-Feb-13 12:24:21

Not in a similar situation, but just wanted to say sorry this has happened to you.

Are you expats or do you think of yourselves as immigrants- i.e. did you intend to stay long term in the country you're currently in? Can you stay there, or is your visa tied to your DH's job?

RedundantExpat Wed 27-Feb-13 12:28:50

Visa thankfully not a problem, we can stay permanently.

We have been moving so often recently, that our DC at barely 7 are the record holders in their international school. I would have liked to settle down here for at least 5 years so they wouldn't have to change environment, leave friends etc.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 27-Feb-13 13:25:55

In that case I would try to stay until the end of the school year. Your dh might find something else in that time and you can finish the house. It's bloody difficult though isn't it in terms of knowing how long to give it? hope they're at least giving him some severance.

RedundantExpat Wed 27-Feb-13 13:29:25

thanks for your post, Rich.

yes, it is hard to gauge. Hi might find another job here before the old one is finished but it's the uncertainty and not being able to talk things through or get another perspective doesn't help.

Merlion Wed 27-Feb-13 13:49:20

Sorry you are going through this it could so easily be us and it does worry me. I would say put a time limit on how long you are willing (and of course it is still financially viable) for you to stay for your dh to find a new job. It happened to a good friend of mine last year and they ended up staying as her dh did eventually get a new job but it ate massively into their savings and her dh became quite depressed and withdrawn. They were pretty much on the verge of going home as his visa was about to expire.

RedundantExpat Wed 27-Feb-13 13:57:37

We don't have a "home" so wouldn't know where to go except maybe a place where cost of living would be lower and chances of finding a job greater. Any hints wink ?

Merlion Wed 27-Feb-13 16:04:42

Depends what area you are looking for work in really. We would always head back to the UK as at least medical bills and schooling would be covered once we were resident again. Where are you both from originally?

anonymosity Wed 27-Feb-13 17:09:36

We had this a year ago and it was immensely stressful - but after a couple of months a really good job opp popped up for him (after months of struggling to make other jobs possibly work and it not happening). There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Sibble Wed 27-Feb-13 18:09:28

In a similar but not quite the same situation. DH was made redundant 5 weeks ago a week later (and a day after he received the official letter with package) the company went into receivership so we are currently owed 2 weeks pay and 3 weeks holiday pay. It is extremely stressful. DH has managed to get himself some consultancy work at half his usual hourly rate and very much on an as needed basis but it all helps (mostly to keep him busy and out of the house). Luckily for us I do work and manage my own workload so have managed to increase my hours to as many as I can do in a week (DH is doing school drops offs, pick ups etc...). We too have bought a 'do up' and I am currently looking at bare floorboards and partly stripped walls in the living area. We couldn't sell until it is finished but we don't have the money to finish at the moment. If worse comes to worse we will have to take out a loan to finish and put it straight on the market.

On a positive note for us we are in NZ, he is kiwi so visas etc are not an issue. He has had a few interviews for here, Oz and Canada. We have temporarily ruled out going back to the UK (never say never).

DH had managed to make quite a few contacts here in his work field and is mainly using them to find openings, interviews and opportunities.

A month later we have managed to get our heads around it a bit - we will try our best to stay as we moved last year, schools etc and I don't want to do that to the boys again so soon.

I have to go now as it's school run time and I need to go to work but good luck!

Oh and if it is a possibility tell DH to start applying for jobs now - be ahead of the pack DH says that the one week he new before everybody else flooded the market gave him the edge????

Sibble Wed 27-Feb-13 18:11:17

knew!!! not new

happyAvocado Wed 27-Feb-13 18:17:39

I can only guess that if you were to pay for school where you are you'd spend on it a big chunk of your DH wages?

How much does he have to earn (or can he even earn that much) to pay for your kids education and renovation of the house?

Can you find job yourself?

Sibble Wed 27-Feb-13 18:40:45

Quickie as I fly out the door, I had just paid the school fees , if nothing comes up soon I am not going to pay this month's fees and if necessary speak with the school. I will pay when I can. I don't think they will forcibly remove ds from the school. I have heard they are lenient on the basis we will pay at some stage!

RedundantExpat Wed 27-Feb-13 20:20:10

Thanks for your replies and sorry to hear you are in similar circumstances.

DH is italian, so unlikely for us to find a job, much less two there. I have no family or friends in my own country and while I would be covered for medical expenses and school, the upheaval of going there and potentially not finding a job and then having to move again doesn't seem to make sense.

We could probably stay here and put the DCs in the local school and that would probably be the way of least resistance, i.e. we could stay in our house, keep friends from current school.

I think you are right, sibble, to start looking for jobs now. And go to the employment centre to see what we can expect.

Clueless2727 Wed 27-Feb-13 21:05:07

Hi, been lurking on here for a while as possibly moving abroad. Just wanted to post as have done some work advising people who are being made redundant. My most valuable advice is to network, only work in uk so dont know about overseas, but linkedin (or overseas equivalent) can be so valuable in finding a new job, want to try and speak to anyone he has ever worked with. Most jobs aren't advertised and are filled through word of mouth so networking is crucial. Seriously consider temping jobs as a way of getting into companies. As someone already said, setting up a consultancy business could be an option or setting up training company training in his speciality. Remember also that the emotions associated with redunancy are similar to grief as it is a loss so normal to feel a range of emotions.(denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance). Try not to take the feelings out on each other and recognise that it's part of normal emotions. Useful for both of you to have someone else to talk to. Hope he finds something really soon.

RedundantExpat Thu 28-Feb-13 08:24:15

thank you, clueless, that was really valuable input. I had been looking on the redundancy topic but all people seemed to ask was for technical/legal advice in the UK.

I want to tell DH that I am 100% behind him and I don't want him to feel he is carrying the responsibility by himself, at the same time I feel lost and don't know how to support him except for trawling vacancy ads maybe.

RedundantExpat Thu 28-Feb-13 08:24:41

and good luck with the move abroad. It is exciting!

Clueless2727 Thu 28-Feb-13 20:27:15

Thanks and no problem. Happy to offer advice on cv, interview etc. feel free to pm me

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now