Have namechanged.
Hi,
We've just returned from our semi-annual 'pilgrimage' to SA with DS1 and DS3. I was there for 6 weeks, DH joined me for 3 of the 6. The result is that DH is quite determined that we should go back, he is thinking of a 2 year timetable to go, possibly when eldest DS starts school. Has put his name down for a school (offers will be made from this June onwards) and has started planning this already (looked into converting mortgage to buy-to-let, recruiters, glanced at property). The kids had a whale of a time, was in the pool all day every day, we did all the stuff we used to do, met up with old friends. They all seem quite happy but are (imo) in denial about the crime etc, just live behind high walls on secure estates that cost a bomb...
As for me - I'm not so sure. Going for a holiday and living there are 2 different things. We have lived here for almost 7 years, came here as skint newlyweds with £2k and 2 suitcases and have done well I think considering, I love living here, although I can see the attraction of returning. DH has no friends here, but lots of family. He works crazy hours with a hellish commute (only recent though). We travel to London once every 2 months or so to see my friends and their DH's, otherwise are socially quite isolated where we live, though I am involved in quite a few things in our town. I think of England as 'home'.
There are just SO MANY things that worry me to no end about going back. Crime, cost of living (it has become soooooooooooo expensive), dire education system, private healthcare, etc. vs the outdoors lifestyle, being with family and esp grandparents, DH thinks he can earn more there than here, kids being exposed to our language more than just hearing it from DH and me, etc. We would live in CT.
The compromise would be to go for 10 years and then return. My worry is is that a) we'll start from scratch again, b) uprooting teenagers might not be that easy, c) our parents will then be mid-70's. Surely that is exactly the age when you don't want to leave them and move hemispheres?
Anybody else thinking of going back?
(Apologies for the essay)
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Living overseas
Any South Africans living in the UK thinking of going back?
GandalfsHat · 22/01/2013 17:09
Am guessing Afrikaans is yr mother tongue? Its having something of a resurgence in gov schools and there are some good ones and some excellent preschools (wY better than UK equivalents...) but you still pay even for gov ones. Kids have little freedom to roam, ferried everywhere by car. No way to live really 
I'm South African, grew up in Springs and P.E.
I would go back for a holiday at the drop of a hat, but never to live. TBH the political situation is going to the dogs. My folks live in P.E still, they've been there since 1982, and things are getting so bad that they are selling up, selling my dad's business, and coming back to the UK. Basically the guy in charge of the municipality has a standard 6 education, and he and his cronies have bankrupted it. Nothing gets fixed properly any more, there are regular power cuts because there's no money left to mend or rebuild the power stations, and many people have a gun. I know because I had one.
My folks are British born and come over to the UK for hols every year or two, and they can't believe how much safer they feel here. The roads are organised, people obey the law (mostly 
) and you get help if you need it. Over in SA there is no benefit state, if you earn nothing then you have nothing. If you lose your home or your job or become disabled, the government won't give you a penny.
Don't go, or rather do go, but just for holidays. IMO.
Cant help but agree, Todays
Better for hols.
Am surprised about other comment that 9/10 better off in Sa?? not anything I've seen, esp. around CT where v v hard to get decent job. most people we know work for themselves and if they're doing well it is due to dual income/low bond combo as incomes generally much much lower than UK while costs considerably higher.
Wow, I haven't been back to this thread for a few days, thanks for all the replies!
Salbertina - Are you a Brit living in SA at the moment? I agree with everything you said. Yes, we are Afrikaans speaking, we try and stick to OPOL as advised by a SALT, so far so good, but DS1 is mixing his languages and since he started nursery, his English has improved tremendously, to the extend that he now speaks whole phrases to us, replacin words he used to say in Afrikaans It's probably a losing battle anyway. Are you on your way back to the UK? I assume you're in CT?
As for the schools, I thought I'd put their names down for Bishops and see is DS1 get in, kind of let them make the decision for us. Slim chance, I know.
Youwiththeface, sounds like we're in the same boat...I make a point of reading Beeld, news24 and our local paper (my hometown) daily, and most days I want to weep.
As for work, I think my DH will get a good job based on what he did here. I don't know what I will do. I used to be a nurse, worked in private and state. Private is a bunch of money grabbing fuckwits, where your life really does rely on the strength of your bank account, albeit first world, American style healthcare. The state hospitals.. the things I could tell you will make you weep, I worked in Dbn hospitals Trauma Units, I saw it all for myself, and this was 7 years ago, I dread to think what it looks like now... I'm not even registered anymore, don't think I want to be either
BUt then, Salbertinas last post, the kids have a different kind of childhood, just because of the type of things they're exposed to, nature and wildlife, being outdoors, being with family, I don't know. I am SO TORN.
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