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2013 ist schon da! A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for the New Year - living in Germany and Austria

(923 Posts)
LinzerTorte Tue 08-Jan-13 11:48:02

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat. smile

Previous thread here.

outnumberedbymen Fri 11-Jan-13 19:35:24

good evening!
I will try to catch up now, but dont even know where to start!

grinch how have the last couple of nights been? well done for sticking with it, and well done to your dh for helping you smile good that you already can see an improvement, so hopefully sleepless nights will be a thing of the past for you very soon. I'm keeping everything crossed for you!

admylin with ds2 and ds3 sleeping through def did not have anything to do with being breast/bottle fed. ds2 I could only breastfeed for 6 weeks as he was tiny, a very difficult drinker and was losing lots of weight instead of gaining it. but it still took him from 6 weeks to 5 months for him to sleep through. ds3 actually slept through a couple of times around 8 or 9 weeks, when he was still fully breastfed. I then had to switch to bottles as he too was losing weight sad. and strangely on bottles he slept much much worse!

re your dh, admylin that change sounds very promising. I hope his boss has realised what they'd lose if your dh left. Boston would be great wouldnt it?! my youngest db and his family may be going to Harvard for his postdoc in the summer. That's in Boston too, isnt it?

weissdorn your dd sounds adorable. and remember those noises you are describing very well grin. what kind of restaurant do you have btw? it's me who's doing the dry January. I'm taking part in the Cancer Research UK Dryathlon. it's going well so far, and I've got used to having a huge mug of herbal teat in the evening instead of a glass of wine smile

linzer have you heard back from school re that late theatre trip? oh and well done to your dd1 for a great test result smile. my alcohol tolerance is also very low. I had three dc within 3.5 years, then some more time added for bf...and having had two 5am risers, even when I WAS allowed to drink theoretically, I would never have more than one glass. the thought of being up at 5am plus feeling slightly hungover did not seem worth it.

jenny how is your back now? do you suffer from back pain a lot? how lovely you and dh got to go to the cinema. having good babysitters is fantastic isnt it. I've really got used to it this past year, and I am dreading when ours finish uni and move away!

interesting to hear about your experience with the Mirena. I am almost 100% sure that I will have it removed next week. actually, having come to that decision, finally, I feel quite relieved about it. also thank you linzer for your suggestion of the 3MS, and thank you cheas for sharing your experience with it! I think I will try and stay off any hormonal contraception for a little while just to see if I can manage the period pains in different ways. whichever form of hormonal contraception I have googled, the possible side effects are similar to the ones of the Mirena. and as I've had so many side effects with the MIrena, I am worried it will be the same again.

antique it sounds like your ds is in a very similar phase as my ds3! on thne hand I am really enjoying this stage. he is so much fun, his speech and other skills are really developing, and his cheekiness makes me laugh. otoh it's tantrums galore atm!

today, when we went to kiga for that champagne reception, I asked one of the teachers how ds3 was getting on. my reason for asking was that he doesnt seem very happy when I drop him off in the mornings and I wanted to know if he is happy, if he has children he plays with regularly etc...anyway, that teacher started listing one negative thing after the other about ds3; like, he doesnt listen, he refuses to tidy up, he ignores us, he ignores rules....she kept going on and on. eventually I stopped her midflow and said 'actually I was wondering if he seems happy and has friends'. I was a bit angry and sad that she only had such negative things to say about my admittedly strongminded and stubborn but allthesame lovely, funny, fun, clever and gentle ds3! I wonder if she has ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? sad

re reading: I was given a kindle for my last birthday. at first I wasnt so sure and missed 'real' books. now I love it! and I read so much more now than I used to. Also, if you are an Amazon Prime customer, you get to borrow one book each month for free (from the Kindle library on the Kindle shop) which is think is great!

I cant remember what else I was going to write, but my post has become another momoth one anyway!

I hope everyone is enjoying their Friday evening!

outnumberedbymen Fri 11-Jan-13 22:33:58

Haha I just spotted a rather nice typo on my own post...

'Herbal teat' it must be all this talk about newborns grin

Weissdorn Sat 12-Jan-13 08:39:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

platanos Sat 12-Jan-13 09:09:05

Good morning. Just a very quick post as I am in a de-cluttering state of mind (I am in a strange old mood and feel decluttering will help) plus no swimming (again....) as dd2 woke up with a fever sad so she can lie in bed and direct the de-cluttering of toys. Must be careful not to do my back in though...was getting better and then ds head-butted me just at my tailbone yesterday hmm- I nearly fainted with pain but seems back to pre- head butt level this morning.

anybody got a shredder? I need to get rid of all sorts of papers, and want to get one.

does anyone with a kindle want to start some sort of borrowing books from each other? I read you could lend someone a book, for free, for 2 weeks. But I am not sure it works acorss the German-Austrian border. Though I buy my books from I also find I read a lot more...

great news on the night sleepers, hope for those in the midst of sleepless nights and training too. It will be worth it in the end...Boooooo to only negative feedback on dc - we get that here too...all the things mentioned seem totally normal behaviour for a 2 year old, I think! and it is up to them to ask and motivate the child in a way that they will listen -first feedback we got from ds here was "has he got hearing problems? Because he never listens" grrr.....

admylin- great news...are you being tapped? are his bosses on mumsnet and reading ?grin. hope the good stuff continues to come your way.

Must back later with a green bin bag count.

have a nice day!

Weissdorn Sat 12-Jan-13 09:35:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LinzerTorte Sat 12-Jan-13 13:29:48

Antique I didn't think you sounded negative at all - it all sounds quite normal to me. grin FWIW DS has always been into everything and is the hardest work in that respect, but he's also the one who comes out with the funniest things and is always making me laugh.

outnumbered DH said he'll e-mail the teacher this weekend about the theatre trip, as I think they have until the end of next week to send in the money. We've also just found out that DD1 has a biology test the following day, another reason why the timing really isn't ideal.
Re alcohol, I rarely have more than one glass even now and would probably feel ill if I had more than two. blush
How frustrating about the reception. I find that far too many teachers here focus on the negatives. Even with DD2, who is sailing through school, the teacher seems to brush over all the positives and focus on the (usually not very important) areas where she needs to improve (reading in a monotone, speaking too quietly, etc.) - it's like some teachers feel they need to find something to criticise.

Weissdorn envy of you being able to get all your books for free! I've never heard of Sharon Kay Penman, but will have to look out for her. Thanks for the tip about reading Philippa Gregory in order, which I thought I was but obviously haven't been - rather annoyingly, I've had The White Queen (which I haven't read yet) longer than The Other Boleyn Girl.

platanos I've been in a decluttering mood today as well, and have taken two big bags of clothes to the clothes bank. What do you do with the rest of the stuff, do you have a charity shop nearby you can take it to? I think we could probably open a charity shop in our cellar! I bought a shredder from either Lidl or Hofer a couple of years ago and it's really handy; it's quite big (and scarily noisy when you use it), but it hides under my desk and is so much quicker and easier than tearing up paper into tiny strips.

Those of you with Kindles, what kind do you have? I really shouldn't buy one until I've got through all the books I still have to read, but am quite tempted and was wondering whether it's worth forking out an extra €50 for the Paperwhite. Also, is the selection of e-books you can get from very different from on (bearing in mind I only really read English books)? I've noticed when I've clicked on e-books on the UK site that it says they're not available to buy in my country.

What are the advantages of Amazon Prime outnumbered, other than being able to borrow one e-book per month? Is it just free and quicker delivery? I do order quite a lot from Amazon, but rarely pay for delivery unless I buy from a seller rather than Amazon itself - and ones who ship to Austria are extremely rare (and ones who charge a reasonable rate to do so even rarer) - and I assume they wouldn't be included in Amazon Prime anyway? And delivery is pretty quick anyway, usually two working days (although they always tell you much longer when you order).

LinzerTorte Sat 12-Jan-13 13:35:03

Ignore my question about Amazon Prime outnumbered, as it isn't available in Austria (apart from the Leihbücherei bit). Grr - I feel like a second-class citizen living in Austria sometimes.

Weissdorn Sat 12-Jan-13 15:58:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

outnumberedbymen Sat 12-Jan-13 16:09:52

weissdorn you just go to your Bürgeramt with the birth certificate and passport pictures, and you'll get the Kinderreisepass straight away.

Ds1 seems to have caught a tummy bug and is spending a fair amount of time on the toilet today. Fingers crossed the rest of us won't catch it, especially as dh is starting his new job on Monday!!

Will post properly later.

tadjennyp Sat 12-Jan-13 18:58:20

Hello, just sitting on the sofa with ds2 while dh is up the mountain with the older two. The new medication is making me dizzy. Yet to feel the tramadol working. Does anyone have any experience of this? It is the first time I've done something to my back. Feeling solidarity with you platanos. Hope yours is recovered really soon.

Well done everyone decluttering. I should get round to doing that with toys as dd's and ds2's birthdays are in a few weeks. Thinking of wrapping up some of the older two's toys that we had set aside for ds2 as a present from them. Does that sound really stingy? He'll only be two and I don't think we really need any more toys. confused

Regarding reading - dh got me a nook (from Barnes & Noble a big booksellers) for Christmas. I really like it and apparently can borrow books from the library with it, though I've yet to try it. I joined the goodreads site after reading your posts yesterday but I think I got a bit confused with how to set up the 'to-read' shelf. So far I have read 'the Leopard' by Jo Nesbo and 'the Daughter of Time' by Josephine Tey. Inspired by Weissdorn I'm going to start on 'the Sunne in Splendour' next which I got for my birthday too. I'm really excited to find out if those bones in Leicester are really Richard III! Sorry about amazon prime not working in Austria Linzer. I wonder why that is?

So sorry about that awful negative feedback outnumbered. I always talked about the good points of my students at parents' evenings even if their behaviour in class wasn't great - and mine were mostly teenagers, not little ones.

Yay for the Japan trip admylin. I hope it's the start of a better working atmosphere for your dh.

Your toddler sounds v cute antique! It is a good job that they have such adorable little faces, isn't it? Ds2 currently insists on walking down the stairs naked after his bath with Daddy to give me a cuddle. So sweet!

Glad you had a great time in the UK cheaspicks. I loved Skyfall but maybe some of that is because I have a slight crush on Daniel Craig a bit homesick and it is a particularly British Bond!

Right, time to take some more painkillers! Waves to everyone and here's to a lovely Saturday evening! smile

tadjennyp Sat 12-Jan-13 18:59:24

Sorry, forgot to say I hope this tummy bug is shortlived outnumbered and good luck to your dh for Monday!

Weissdorn Sat 12-Jan-13 19:19:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weissdorn Sat 12-Jan-13 19:20:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

outnumberedbymen Sat 12-Jan-13 19:21:50

jenny another quick post. are you taking tramadol tablets or drops? I had tramadol drops when I was heavily pregnant with ds3 and had a monster sinusitis. being in the thir trimester I wasnt allowed ibuprofen, and paracetamol wasnt touching the pain. The drops worked almost instantly, although I have to say I did not like the way it made me feel. Even though I took a much lower dosage than recommended, I felt very drowsy and it knocked me out. dh has back problems regularly. he usually takes something for the pain (ibu600) as well as a muscle relaxant (tetrazepam) so that he isnt hunched in an awkward position which will make the discomfort even worse. I hope your back is better soon!

<waves to everyone and hopefully I'll find time to post later>

outnumberedbymen Sat 12-Jan-13 19:25:25

oh, and jenny re your ds2' presents: weve done that before. one Christmas ds1 got a bigger sized Bobby Car, and he then gave his smaller sized Bobby Car to ds2. fast forward 2 years, ds2 then also got a bigger sized Bobby Car for Christmas, and he then gave the smaller Bobby Car to ds3. smile

tadjennyp Sat 12-Jan-13 19:30:53

I read that thread weissdorn! It was really interesting, wasn't it? I hope dd is settling down for you. (Can't wait for ds2 to have his nap so I can start reading it!)

It's tramadol tablets with cyclobenza something or other as a muscle relaxant, outnumbered. I do feel quite drowsy. Hope ds2 is feeling a bit better.

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 13-Jan-13 14:06:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LinzerTorte Sun 13-Jan-13 14:42:21

OldBag It really depends how much walking you'll be doing up in the mountains. I've been up in the boots I normally wear around town (the ones you linked too look quite a lot sturdier than mine), but we've never normally spent much more than about an hour at the top, doing some fairly gentle walking with the DC. You do see plenty of people in hiking boots, who obviously take it all more seriously than us, but I'm sure your boots will be fine - and if you really do need walking boots, could you perhaps borrow your friend's as she suggested rather than buying some specially?

Re the coat, it looks very similar to the M&S one I have (but mine was much cheaper so yours is probably better quality!). I live in woolly dresses, thick tights and boots during the winter, and will add a cardigan and leggings if I'm going to be outside for a while - I do feel the cold, but that's usually fine for me. I should add that I find a hat, scarf and gloves essential in the winter and most people wear hats if they're going to be outside for more than about five minutes (five milliseconds in the case of children).

Am not too sure about stylish Innsbruck natives as we're in the east of Austria. Most women here mainly seem to wear trousers or jeans, and I feel like I stand out a bit in my dresses, but I don't really care. grin My hat is distinctly unstylish according to DH (can't link as it was bought in the USA about 15 years ago), but it does the job of stopping my hair going frizzy - I should think any hat would be fine, really. Mid-March can be quite mild here (but it can also still be very cold up until April and still chilly even in May; it's difficult to know so far in advance) so you may not need all the extra padding around town, although it will definitely be much colder up in the mountains.

platanos Sun 13-Jan-13 16:01:00

Oldbagwantsnewbag I agee with Linzer - though also in the east of Austria, I go to Innsbruck for work sometimes. The coat looks like it will be fine - but as Linzer said check the weather report because there can be warmer spells, and it may be too warm. As for the boots - are you walking around in the mountains? Or taking a lift up the mountain from Innsbruck, sitting in a cafe and then coming back down? If the latter, then those boots will probably be too warm smile. Do get a hat, scarf and gloves though. I can't say I have noticed strict style rules in Innsbruck - the natives I know through work are all very sporty and dress for the weather, rather than the eye! I find places in Austria are very well heated, even over-heated, so make sure you can take layers off when inside. Hope you have a great time.

OldBagWantsNewBag Sun 13-Jan-13 17:29:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

outnumberedbymen Sun 13-Jan-13 21:36:19

Hello and good evening smile
I've got no energy at the moment which is why I haven't really been on here much. Don't know why, I haven't really been going to the gym either, just can't get motivated for anything....

I'm already in bed now but realised I didn't reply to linzer's question re the kindle. Both me and dh have the very basic version, no keyboard etc. for us it's absolutely sufficient. I personally don't think the paperwhite is worth the extra money. But then, if I read in bed I have my bedside table light on anyway, and during the day the display is fine. Also I have read in quite a few reviews that the light and the display in the paperwhite isn't that good.

platanos although I'd be interested in swapping kindle books, I don't think mine would be of much interest. I have a mix of German and English books. But the type of books I read are like Dora Heldt or Sophie Kinsella blush. At the end of my day I am usually so exhausted I have to read something where I don't have to think much smile

Thanks to those commenting on the negative feedback from ds3 pre school. I agree, often here feedback is negative. I remember my mum getting very annoyed at teachers when we were still at school. I wonder what prospective teachers learn at Uni re giving feedback. I remember learning to always start with something positive, then say where there's room for improvement, and then finish on a positive note as well.

admylin Mon 14-Jan-13 09:43:52

outnumbered wonder if your tiredness is from all the stress of the last few months with job searches etc just catching up on you? How is your dh's new job going?

jenny and weissdorn I love those history threads too! Have you seen there's even a history topic.
Kinderreisepass was easy to get for my 2 aswell. Couldn't believe how cheap it was too. If you and dh aren't married you might need him to sign something though - wasn't it ploom who had abit of trouble with that?

Dh has applications nearly ready for 2 jobs in the US. One in Boston - yes that's Harvard outnumbered but I get the feeling it's abit like Oxford, you have to feel honoured to be allowed to work there so they get to pay you peanuts! The other job is in Texas. Both dc reckon that'd be great.

platanos how much did you manage to sort out and get rid of? I got rid of another big bag of junk yesterday. Ds did his desk and shelf too and at last agreed to get rid of the empty boxes for his computer mouse, earphones, and a few other empty gadget packages.

Freezing again here. Couldn't face walking to the shops so did the lazy thing and jumped in the car! Oh well, atleast I get more time to have a cuppa now that I'm back so quickly!

cheaspicks Mon 14-Jan-13 10:37:17


Well done to those of you managing to do some decluttering. I'd be interested in reading that minimalist blog someone mentioned earlier - is it on MN?

linzer DH has just upgraded from a basic Kindle to a Paperwhite and loves the new one. He now always reads with the light on, although the battery doesn't last nearly as long and also likes the dictionary facilty (you press a word and a box pops up with the meaning). Personally, I think I would buy the basic one, though, because it's noticeably lighter and because I am (probably irrationally) blaming my own recent worsening of eyesight on spending so much time staring at my ipad. Afaik, the basic Kindle has a touchscreen anyway now, so the dictionary thing is probably on that too. Unfortunately Dh's old Kindle died shortly after he replaced it, so I haven't automatically inherited it, but as I bought so many books in the UK, I don't think I will be looking at buying a Kindle for the next six months (I'm also trying to kick my Amazon habit as a protest against their non-tax-paying).

jenny I think the Britishness was what I particularly liked about Skyfall, too. And Daniel Craig is very easy on the eye good as Bond smile.

antique I'll post some pictures of the quilt on fb, but I want to get it hanging on the wall first. I'm so very nearly there - just need to finish sewing a sleeve to the back to hold a strip of wood. I'm so pleased with myself for finishing it, though, since I have a tendency to start these things and give up near the end!

How old is your ds now? He looked so grown up on that recent picture you posted on fb.

outnumbered isn't that method of giving feedback known as "the shit sandwich"? grin Your ds3 is so young, isn't he? You would think at that age that the most important thing for the ErzieherInnen to be concentrating on would be helping kids to settle into the group and form attachments to the staff.

One of my New Year's resolutions (I have many) is to plan meals each week and I sat down earlier to write a master list of things we cook regularly to help me. I'm now a bit shock that virtually all our supper dishes are cheese-based (baked risotto, spinach and ricotta canneloni, Halloumi couscous, pizza, quiche). We usually eat egg curry once a week, but even that has yoghurt in, so isn't dairy-free. I think part of the problem is the DH cooks in the evenings while I put DD to bed and he's not as keen on lentils as I am or as confident about trying new recipes - I could change this and prepare a meal earlier and we could eat with DD, but I doubt this means that DH would take over putting DD to bed and I'd rather not skew our roles even further in the direction of "traditional marriage". Maybe I can find some sort of compromise confused.

TheUKGrinchImGluhweinkeller Mon 14-Jan-13 10:45:07

Hello - that was a lot of weekend posting!

I have forgotten what I have read...

Outnumbered what struck me about the feedback you mentioned getting about your DS3 was that just sounded like a generic description of any 2 year old! (He is 2 isn't he) - they are not famous for listening, taking no for an answer, tidying up their toys, following instructions if they don't correspond with what they want to do - is he one of the youngest at the Kindergarten? Quite aside from the unremitting negativity sounding unprofessional it sounds as if that staff member was unfamiliar with what is normal for the age group!!

Good luck to your husband with the job applications admylin and well done on the decluttering.

Oldbag I guess your questions are answered - we don't live in quite the same area but here in Bavaria I wear a T shirt with a winter coat over it if I am only going between buildings and car, or a jumper under if I am going to be standing about outdoors for a while, but in March it is unlikely to be freezing cold. Have a good trip!

weissdorn like the others I never had any problems getting my kids Kinderreisepass, even DD who was born in the UK was no problem, and they are so much cheaper than UK passports and so much easier to get - I think because the Geminde already has everything on record really.

Well done on the decluttering plantanos - hope your back is OK.

My thoughts are mainly dominated by sleep - we had a really awful night even by DS2's standards on Saturday night, when DS2 went to bed fine but woke at 11pm just as we were about to go to bed, having watched a film, and basically screamed until 3am, with a couple of moments of false hope when he seemed to have fallen asleep but pinged wide awake as soon as I removed my hand from his... In the end he only slept when I lay with him, which I was trying so hard not to do, but I still hadn't had any sleep at all at 3am, and that is not on the back of being well rested! Last night though was better - an hour to fall asleep, and only up at 11pm for 10 mins and for about an hour between 1am and 2am - then not up again til 6am. For DS2 that is about as good as it gets sleep wise. I've been consistent (aside from Saturday night) for 2 weeks now, but it is going to be a very long road I think, but I would really love to be able to put him to bed at 7.30pm and expect him to usually sleep til say 5.30am... that is just a pipe dream atm, one day it will happen...

TheUKGrinchImGluhweinkeller Mon 14-Jan-13 10:48:14

Hello Cheas - cross posted. Is there a problem with your meals being cheese based? You're very slim aren't you? If my husband were in the habit of cooking dinner and it wasn't affecting my health/ weight I'd leave well alone tbh!

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