For The Swederlish!(59 Posts)
Thought I'd start this thread in case someone like myself is looking for such a place. Seems to be tucked far into a corner though, so I'd be surprised if many checked in.
I'm a 33 year old English woman living with her Swedish boyfriend near Avesta. I discovered him online whilst playing a mmorpg in November 2010 and we have an 8 month old daughter.
I don't really like Sweden, if I'm honest. I miss the friendliness of Brits, the cheaper prices and much wider variety of products plus the more frequent and flexible availability of things such as transport and I really resent having to pay for my healthcare when it's for something I have little control over.
I was dreading the weather when I moved here, but it's not so bad. Sure, you get a lot of snow and it can slow things down, but it's a lot drier here so doesn't feel as cold as it is.
I miss my family very much, and I hate that they aren't getting to see my baby grow up, but I do like my boyfriends family a lot and I'm glad that we are living close to them, so that's something at least.
So why are you here?
DH is from Gothenburg and we have his family (for what little good they are!), his friends etc. Plus he was able to get work here in his area of expertise.
As previously said, I have been happier since we moved to a small town on the outside of a bigger city. I hated Gothenburg itself and enjoy the familiarity of a small town.
Why Stockholm? For me it was a combination of that's where the work is for me and DH, and not being willing to move to the back of beyond. DH lived in Östersund when we met, and I was a LOT less willing to move there than to Stockholm. Thankfully he was ready for a change too and got a job here, so we moved to Stockholm together, me from o/s, him from Östersund.
Nothing against Östersund, I'm sure it has it's advantages, but I come from a bigger city, have a tough enough time with the cold and dark at this latitude, and wanted to be somewhere with an expat community I could integrate with if I needed to.
Can you afford the odd long weekend in the big city? Come down with DH and DD and arrange a meetup with some of the english mums or us MNers who are here? Then you'd have someone you have met to moan with via email etc. Always good to have someone to vent with.
Can I ask why everybody appears to be living in the capital or other great cities like gothenburg and malmo? Is it for work? I live in the middle of nowhere it seems.
Where did you post your other thread? Couldn't find it earlier...
I hated öppnaförskolan. Grim behaviour and cliquey parents. The two ladies who ran it were lovely though and always made DD1 feel special
I feel better now that I've had a chance to talk it out on here and to know that I am not the only one who has had an awkward time adjusting to a new situation involving that elite club 'parents'. For my child's sake, I will try again either at the same place or a new one, but I'm going to take someone with me who can bridge the gap in the languages at least at first.
Boomerwang, I saw your other thread briefly about having a shit time at mammagrupp. Then before I could read it fully and reply, I had to go take care of the DDs. When I got a moment, it had disappeared from active convos.
How are you doing? What happened?
I was also with a midwife connected to Bb Stockholm. But if they're full, they're full!
I know what you mean about swaddling. In Australia, it's recommended to help stop tinies from waking themselves with their startle reflex. In Sweden most seem to think it's torture. What happened to "lagom"? We wrapped DS up tight for the first few weeks.
A website for English Mums in Sweden if you are interested:
Thank you for the advice
I am due to join the mammagroup but not for a few weeks yet, I am going to an international parent meetup tomorrow if I can manage to get me and DS washed, dressed, fed and on the bus in time. Today my acheivments were showering, getting dressed (into clean pyjamas) and putting 1 wash load on so I think I might be being a little optimistic about my trip into the city!
Mrsmeeple I hope you do get to go to bb stockholm, it was so lovely although my friends who have been to dandyryd have said it was lovely there too I went to a private (but free) midwife whilst I was pregnant, they are in gamlastan and östermalm the midwife I went to is the same company as bb stockholm so they give priority places to the people who have been to their midwives. The day DS was born was a record breaking day 19 babies were born!!
I had a funny time in a baby shop last week, my friend gave me a swaddle me blanket and it works amazingly, DS settles much better when swaddled. The problem is that his newborn nappy explosions mean that we were washing the blanket every morning and then paniking about it being dry for bedtime. We went in and asked the person in the shop if they had a swaddling blanket and tried to describe it to them they said "no we don't sell anything like that! It sounds cruel!" My friend brought us another one from the netherlands so the situation was solved, I think the shop assitant was considering calling social services on us for restraining our baby.
Yes, the kids are in daycare, but often not full-time. As soon as a sibling is born and there is a parent off on parental leave the non-school age kids drop down to 15hrs daycare a week.
We went to a lovely playgroup run by the church, though we neither of us believe and have opted out of the church. They were super-welcoming AND they had the best fikabord The christian stuff was minimal (one tiny, inoffensive song of a repertoire of about 20).
Congratulations Honeytea! You're lucky to have been to BB Stockholm they were my first choice but were full for DS, so we ended up in (the normal part of) Danderyd. Which was sitll luxury compared to the experiences in other countries that I've read about on here! Fingers crossed there's space in May when the next one is due!
We did a baby music class with DS. I think it was run through the local council (kommun). But check the "kommun" websites and the local churches. They quite often run sessions.
there are a couple of playgroups for english speakers if you want to get out and meet other parents. The one I went to have kids of a wider age range than the swedish drop in playgroups, as there are more expat SAHMs. Most of the Swedish kids are in daycare by the age of 2.
A quick google of "babyrytmik Stockholm" gives quite a few hits.
Grattis honeytea! Glad you had a good experience and all going well. Not in Stockholm either, but try öppenforskola. Most communes have them and they tend to have groups/sångstund for under 12months separately. Ask at bvc also. Does yours have a mother & baby group? It can be a good way to get started.
Congratulations on the new baby :D sorry I don't know anything about Stockholm so I can't help.
Hello just a little update from me, I gave birth to my ds on the 18th of December, the Swedish hospital was bloody amazing, like a posh hotel. We went to bb Stockholm which is a private maternity ward at Danderyd sjukhus but it is free (like the free private schools.)
Ds is doing great, I'm finding I speak "swinglish" to him lots, I must stop that!
Ds is 4 weeks old now and my dp went back to work today, does anyone know of any baby massage/baby singing type things on Stockholm?
Happy new year to you all
Have just ordered from a website called buyyorkshiretea.co.uk No idea if they're any good, but a fiver for 160 bags has to beat 89kr for 80 bags here, even when you add postage costs....
I did find PG Tips in Coop, and local ICA has twinings, but it's not the same (small tantrum)
If they don't have it, try the Indian supermarket here. They do quite a few British products for a lot cheaper than the English shop.
Oh and I say Co-Op too Boomerwang. I refuse to be assimilated.
Sorry. I now say coop (as in chicken coop)
Will go there tomorrow to see if I can find tea. Luckily my DB is coming over in a couple of weeks so can bring me some more supplies.
Read something shocking on here the other day about them changing the taste/shape of cadbury's dairy milk. Should I get him to bring some over, or am I risking disappointment??
Am I the only one who calls Coop 'The Co-Op' like in the UK? Trying hard to break the habit!
You can get PG Tips in CoOp these days. Tends to lurk around the foreign foods section as opposed to the rest of the tea
We had proper Christmas on 25th. Turkey and all the trimmings followed by Christmas pud and cream (I'm pregnant so if I can't have brandy butter, nobody's having brandy butter). We did go out to a very posh hotel the week before though for a traditional julbord. It was very nice, but then I love fish, but it isn't Christmas for me.
We went to midnight mass too. The priest is polish I think. He dipped the wafers in some sort of liqueur which nearly blew my head off. Polish Christmas tradition perhaps?
Ended up paying 89kr for a packet of tea today at the English shop. Not happy about that. Bloody Ryan Air baggage limits
haha my mother sends me tetley tea now and then. I have too much actually. I also get moist toilet tissue sent over as it doesn't seem to exist here. Also malt vinegar, gravy, cadbury's chocolate and jelly!
Just back home again after a week in the UK, eating turkey and filling up on bacon and proper sausages. Disappointed that we were given so many presents that my large box of Yorkshire Tea didn't fit in my suitcase
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