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Die Kaffeestube Teil 2 - virtual Kaffeeklatsch in Germany and Austria

(952 Posts)
cheaspicks Wed 22-Aug-12 09:57:01

Chat for those living in a German-speaking country, or anyone else who is interested.

achillea Fri 28-Sep-12 12:16:48


I am going on a family duty visit and have a free day in Frankfurt on Friday, anyone got any ideas of what to do? Not been before, I'm interested in art and gardens.

worldcitizen Wed 26-Sep-12 10:34:24

I'l be back later and respond then smile

LinzerTorte Wed 26-Sep-12 10:12:23

Ploom An Austrian friend (so I assume unbiased!) was telling me that the outcomes in Austria are no better in the UK, despite the frequency with which smear tests are done here. I think it's the same for mammograms - you're supposed to start going at 35 here, but the doctor who did the mammogram basically told me there was very little point as the muscle was so dense he could hardly see anything (I needed to be twice as old and twice as fat, apparently!). But I still go. hmm grin

world Like I said, I really don't mind going to the gynae - no bad experiences (with the one I see now) here at all. I do pay, but I think I'm only about €12 out of pocket by the time I get money back from the insurance.

The south coast of Wales is lovely - the Gower is worth a visit, and we went on a couple of holidays in the Tenby area which is nice too, good for coastal walks etc. (although I vaguely remember the town being quite touristy). I've never been to St David's Cathedral, but that's also supposed to be worth a visit. What's happened to Cake? I'm not sure what area she's from, but she might have some more suggestions. You could also head up the coast to mid-Wales and its buzzing metropolis grin, although it's a little tricky/tedious to get to if you don't have your own transport.

Bienchen Wow, you must have been in the UK for over half your life. Do you still feel like Germany is "home", though? What kind of work will you be looking for there?

I attempted to make an Adventkranz (no s in Austria!) one year. It was an unmitigated disaster. I would say it looked like a child had made it, but I'm sure even a toddler could have produced a more successful attempt. Lots of people are very enthusiastic about making their own, but I seem to be missing the Bastel gene, as discussed on here before.

Ploom Wed 26-Sep-12 10:01:12

world - I'd be interested to find out what the difference in cervical cancer outcomes are between the UK and here. It is routine practice to only have a smear every 3 years in the UK but every year here (so I went for the middle ground and went after 2 years). Are the outcomes better in Germany? Dont know.

AntiqueMuppet Wed 26-Sep-12 09:59:35

world I remember the shock when my Geman FA informed me that I'd need a smear every 6 months as opposed to every 3 years in the UK. Once I realised that a smear isn't just a quick smear like in the UK but a full-on examination I almost cried! I can't say it bothers me now, post-pregnancy!

worldcitizen Wed 26-Sep-12 09:43:25

Vegan I was once in love with a Lewis man, but I wasn't willing to make a final move to Edinburgh where he lives, they are really special kind of people with a wonderful accent, one of may favourite ones with Inverness thrown in there too smile

Linzer I have no real clue yet about what to do or see in Wales. Nothing set in stone like with the West Country trip. Would you have good suggestions? Would be happy to hear them thanks

FA atmosphere is different everywhere and the uncomfortable descriptions don't fit my experiences in various practices. But I have always lived in large cities, so the with great choice and all kinds of doctors with various patient and treatment philosophies.
I could not imagine to go for a check-up less than a year, and if it makes sense such as receiving contraception etc. it very much isn't uncommon to go twice a year. Not every check-up needs to have all the shenanigans donegrin
Every 3 years is absolutely a no-go for me. I would pay private, if my health care provider wouldn't have regular annual check-ups on their list for FA visits.

LinzerTorte Wed 26-Sep-12 09:43:11

Ooh, shiny new thread - will pop over and have a look in a minute! Am intrigued by which line you've used, Antique. grin (And have a gold star for all those abbreviations!)

Yes, a smear test is called an Abstrich here too but when you're making an appointment, you only need to say that you want to make a Termin zur Kontrolle - possibly because it includes a breast examination as well. And I'm sure someone (maybe admylin?) mentioned Krebsvorsorge, which I've never heard used at the gynae (or in fact anywhere) here - and which is why I thought English might just need to go to the Frauenarzt. Have I confused everyone enough now? grin

Bienchen Wed 26-Sep-12 09:40:08

Antiquemuppet, no going back to where I come from but after my Abitur I relocated to the south west, not far from the French border. Love it there and this is where I would like to put roots down now. o sorry to learn of your sad news, I hope family and friends will rallye round. Hopefully by the time the exams come round, the grief will be a bit less painful. Hope the school understands. Hope the service goes well, too.

Admylin, I am excited and a bit anxious at the same time. There is a feeling of guilt to pull DD out of what she knows and most importantly to be away from DH will be hard for all of us. He has been trying for the best part of a year to sell his house but just been made ridiculous offers from people who probably would not even have followed through or who would have tried to negotiate down even more later on.

Linzer I have lived here for nearly 23 years, it is a case of now or never. Once I hit the big five O, no employer will give me a second glance. I used to proofread my colleagues work here and have done copy writing before for a large national charity, so

The round decorations with four candles are called Adventskranz. You can even make them yourself. I also recommend the "Pyramids" which originate from Silesia I believe. They areeither triangular with candles going up on both sides or round, some are multi-tiered. The heat from the candkes makes them turn. There are also electric models if you are worried about candles. Starting to feel all festive now when I have still got to finish off autumn planting...

AntiqueMuppet Wed 26-Sep-12 09:36:10

X-post, Linzer - my Frauenärztin calls it an 'Abstrich' here. Don't know if that's what it's normally called though.

AntiqueMuppet Wed 26-Sep-12 09:34:34

New thread here

Linzer The line is from the same poem as your 'Schenk ein den Wein' smile
SIL is DH's DB's wife and they have a 7 year old DD. (The DN who started school a few weeks ago). Do I win a prize for the most abbreviations in one sentence?!

English I had to wait until my parents were over from Canada for my last Frauenarzt appointment! Apparently children are welcome there but I just can't see how it would work on a practical level. I need to have one of my wisdom teeth out and PIL have offered to come and look after DS for the day but that help hasn't quite materialised yet so I'm still waiting with my swollen mouth, yuck!

Vegans Glad you enjoyed your holiday! I'd love to visit the Hebrides at some point. My brother lives in Glasgow but it's not quite the same!

Ploom I hate the waiting around at the Frauenarztpraxis. Like Linzer said, it'S a bit of a letdown when there's no baby on the ultrasound.

LinzerTorte Wed 26-Sep-12 09:28:30

English Isn't the cancer screening at the Frauenarzt? I remember a discussion about how to ask for an appointment for a smear test when I didn't know what to say when I phoned up; I discovered that it's just Termin zur Kontrolle here, but I'm sure that someone else said it's called something like Krebsvorsorge in Germany.

I just took the DC along to the gynae with me when they were little. I remember DD2 trying to fiddle with the ultrasound settings once, but otherwise they were pretty well behaved. I also need to make a few appointments; my one with the Hautarzt is overdue and I have the feeling I'm due for a mammogram soon as well.

Ploom Good that your appointment was out of the way so quickly! I used to make a profit on my gynae visits grin as she would give me a few packets of the pill every time I went, but it doesn't make any financial sense to go so often now - I should really cut down to going once a year!

Well done Ploom I am always way behind on those apts because how on earth do you do it when you have small children not yet at Kindergarten and no handy Oma living next door to look after them? It seems over kill to drive an hour to Oma's for her to look after DS3, an hour back to the doctor or dentist, then wait there an hour to be seen, drive the 2 hours again to pick up DS2 - by which time DD would have been home from school and so I would have had to arrange for her to go to somebody straight from school... or DS3 would have to stay the night at Oma's to allow me to go to the doc! I am overdue dentist, Frauenartz, and now that I am an old lady the health insurance sent me a reminder to go for cancer screening (which I assume is Hausartz not Frauneartz but not sure, haven't looked into it, as when would I go?) I guess I need to get DH to take several days off work for me to go to medical apts even though I am not ill!

How do/ did the rest of you manage it when you have/ had very small ones?

Enjoy your British TV!

Ploom Wed 26-Sep-12 09:04:36

wow I was only in the praxis for 25 mins - that must be the quickest frauenarzt appt ever grin. Has really freed up my morning - had anticipated sitting there for a while. My BP was a bit high but think its all the stress of thinking of having to get your bits and bobs out. All so undignified. Really think you're crazy linzer for going so often.

vegan - glad you had a good time in Scotland. Some of it is so lovely - sadly not the bit I'm from which makes me glad to live in Germany.

cheas - loved your dh's over 40 philosophy. Oh its so very true - I'm not quite there yet but definitely feel over 40 for those first few mins after I get up in the morning.

dh has gone back to work this morning grin so I can get on with the important task of watching British TV wink.

LinzerTorte Wed 26-Sep-12 08:17:06

Just popping in before I start work; need to catch my breath first as I've just been out running with my neighbour!

Ploom Good luck at the Frauenarzt; tunic tops are always good, I find! I've become very Austrian and have taken to going every six months. hmm It's not as fun when there's no baby to see on the ultrasound, though!

world The West Country is lovely; it's where we always used to go on family holidays and I went to university in the area too. Are you planning on visiting south Wales?

admylin Wed 26-Sep-12 07:51:01

ploom take a pair of nice warm socks to the Frauenarzt too - I always get cold feet with them stuck up in stirrups for ages!

vegans this sort of cd is great and festive. We used to sing along to these every afternoon at home before we even understood all the words! Definately get one of those 4 candle table decorations too!

Ploom Wed 26-Sep-12 06:31:44

antique - so sorry to hear about your SIL's sister - its terrible when it happens at anytime but must be awful for the daughter to be having to do her Abitur when she's so upset.

<<waves to everyone else>>

Busy day here too - got the joy of the Frauenarzt this morning sad. Havent been for 2 years but thats still 1 year earlier than I'd have had to go in the UK. Off to go and shower myself thouroughly then find a very long top.

cheaspicks Wed 26-Sep-12 06:05:55

Die Weihnachtsgans Augusta, perhaps - need to find simplified version, though.

Very busy today, have a good one everyone!

WhatWouldVegansDo Tue 25-Sep-12 23:55:26

MIL is from the Hebrides. smile Lovely up there.

The library is a great idea, thanks! Ours is very local. I just wanted to know if there was a particularly traditionally German one. My new decoration this year will be a gherkin. I am embracing the German Christmas!

worldcitizen Tue 25-Sep-12 23:11:32

Hello vegan, yes I think a trip to Scotland is something I would love to do again, but am aiming for a 2-week West country trip next spring and also am thinking to make it 3 weeks to combine it with a Wales trip. Already am time I go to Scotland it is going to be Hebrides time, can't wait to do thatgrin.

About books, I cannot recommend the local library enough. Of course don't know them in Hanover, but can imagine they are as great as they are here where I am. They usually have all the Classics and also all the ones you would usually find in the book's worth it to try them out and see if your little one maybe becomes a fan of a particular one, then at least you know what you're buying is truly a hit with your wee one.
But am sure, you will be flooded with great recommendations soon smile

WhatWouldVegansDo Tue 25-Sep-12 22:50:34

Sorry to hear about your SIL's sister, Antique.

Back from Scotland (sorry to make you envious, world!). Had a lovely time at the wedding, and have come back laden with the Christmas books I ordered on Amazon and a few other things. Has anyone got any recommendations for a nice Christmas book in German for DS who will be 2.2 by Christmas? Something traditionally German, ideally. Danke! smile

LinzerTorte Tue 25-Sep-12 18:37:47

English Yes, DS is definitely clingier if I (or DH) am around; I know that he'd never have refused to go into school if someone else had taken him, for example. I'll be taking him again tomorrow so am keeping my fingers crossed that Monday was just a temporary blip caused by DD1 going away. He was playing quite happily with a couple of friends here this afternoon; although he hadn't wanted to invite them (I felt obliged to for reasons not interesting enough to go into), he was fine once they were here.

Antique How sad for your SIL too; does she have family of her own?

Yes, we've whizzed through this thread - definitely time for a new one, so go for it. grin (I'm going to start composing the next thread's title now. wink)

AntiqueMuppet Tue 25-Sep-12 18:23:56

On a completely unrelated note, I think it's time for a new thread (especially with the speed this one has been moving at lately!)

I'm happy to start one and am tempted to get all competetive with Linzer's poetic titles...

AntiqueMuppet Tue 25-Sep-12 18:22:14

English DS is normally up at about 7am, which works out nicely for us as that's around when we get up too (I like to be showered before DH leaves for work so I'm not waiting til nap time to jump in quickly) - it means it's not the case that one of us has to get up with him, but I suspect it would be a very different story if he were up any earlier.

admylin I hope the school supports her too, it must be a horrible thing to go through at any time in your life, without the added pressure of exams etc on top. Grief counselling sounds like a good idea, that was really sweet of you to organise it for your DS' friend. I bet both he and his dad are really grateful for your help.

I think it's hit SIL particularly hard as her mum died at about the same age (think SIL was in her early 20s) and her dad became an alcoholic around the same time so her sister was her sister/best friend/mother figure all in one. Plus SIL is only a few years younger so DH and I were wondering whether she's starting to worry about her own mortality (for want of a better turn of phrase) too. Apparently BIL told DH that he's worried that SIL will sort of fall into a deep depression and start to self-destruct. I wish I knew what to do for them, I really want to help in some (non-intrusive) way.

admylin Tue 25-Sep-12 13:39:34

Antique sorry to hear about your SIL's sister. That must be really hard for the whole family. Hope the dd is getting plenty of support from school for her Abi year. I've just been helping ds's friend who lost his mum 2 years ago, he still hasn't got over it and we've arranged some grief counseling as his dad was totally lost aswell.

bienchen all sounds very exciting to be starting out new like that! Hope you settle in quickly and all goes well. Great deal with the flat too, as finding a place to live is one of the most difficult hurdles to get over.

cheaspicks I love your dh's philosophy on pain and getting old! I am dreading it with dh as he is a moaner of the very loudest sort! He's been in full body scans and had lots of tests for the slightest of pain (that we wouldn't even flinch about) so no idea what the docs are going to do with him when he really gets problems!

Antique sorry to hear about your SIL's sister - that must be hard for her daughter (and husband obviously, but particularly difficult timing for her daughter)

I am envy that your DH gets up with DS though - mine gets up at 6am, gets in the shower, dresses and leaves at 6.15am - he says hello to the children if they cross his path in that 15 mins... He gets up on a Sunday with the kids if I make him but won't do so before 6am so I still end up getting up to DS2, then I plonk him in our bed in protest (something I don't do the rest of the week esp once he is wide awake, as he is from about 5am) and try to re-direct his bounciness towards DH, with little success til the clock says 6am and he takes him downstairs, along usually with Ds1 by that time. Ds2 sleeps a lot better than he used to, but he is still up during the night at least once, usually twice, and he is very hard to re-settle if the wake ups come after 4am so I often end up sleeping on the mattress in the boys room from the early hours - I feel about 100 most some days!

MIL is Croiatian by birth, maybe they are big Schnaps fans too, I am not totally sure - she makes all kinds of weird jams too (some lovely, rather too many contain carrot or pumpkin confused ) and she and FIL spend days musrooming in the forest and sell the mushroom for quite good amounts of money to supplement their pensions - she wanted to sell the jams too but wasn't allowed if she made them in her own kitchen.

cheap grin at the newcomers zone - I don't think we're referred to as newcomers (2 families have moved to the village since we did, 5 years ago... grin ) but I know I was the Englishwoman (I attempted to start a German course in a town 20km away when we first moved here - gave up on it blush as it was just too much with a small toddler and tiny baby - but the teacher had heard of me as she had a friend in our village - a single friend but he had heard of the pregnant English woman who was always in the playground!) Nowadays I'm mostly DD's mother - she has a rather strong and outgoing personality and is quite well known, the boys are mostly known as her brothers too, poor things! DH is not very known, he turned up to watch DS1's football match a few months ago and many people were shocked he's German, though I'm sure I've said...

We have UK TV via satellite (smug emoticon) - I have Homes Under the Hammer on while DS1 is napping (should be preparing my English lesson as I start teaching on Thursday eve, then have 2 courses on the go til after Christmas) but I'm feeling a bit frazzled so ... we I'm watching daytime TV instead blush (I did go to the gym this morning though, the fact DS2 likes going in the kids room is what motivates me smile ) I haven't tried that website, sounds a good idea though!

Linzer I hope your DS gets used to school soon - do you think you being there makes it worse? When DS starts he will catch the bus with DD, so won't have a chance to cling - unless he runs home from the bus stop I guess hmm He will be nearly 7 when he starts though so I hope not! DD wouldn't let me walk her to the bus stop after day 2 as it made her look like a baby (she was still 5)!

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