For those of you who emmigrated but needed permission from the other parent...

(22 Posts)
Starwisher Sat 31-Mar-12 13:39:20

Please help!
dh has lost his job and due to his line of work there is no jobs in the uk but abroad there is plenty more vacancies and a few companies have already shown interest, in Austrialia and new zealand.

We are all very excited at the prospect and overseas work. I lived abroad as a child and loved it.

However, as usual their is a fly in the ointment. My ex who is dd1 father.

For background he lives 5 hours away, sees her once a year for 3 hours (his choice)and pays no Maintence. However I believe as she was born 2006 and he is on the birth certificate I need his permission to go.

I doubt he really cares where she is as evidenced by lack if commitment to her, but to be spiteful he would say no.

I spoke to two solicitors on brief telepone calls who recommended just going anyway.

My questions are:
1. If I can get him to agree to us going what proof do I need? Just a signed letter or does a solicitor need to witness it?

2. If I just left anyway won't this get found out and arrested for abducting my own child? When we arrive will officials check paperwork?

3. For those of you who ended up in court did it take 10 months to sort out like the solicitor suggested and cost thousands? What was the outcome?

Thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
marcopront Sat 31-Mar-12 14:39:36

I have a letter from my ex saying that I have permission to travel with my DD. I have never been asked for it.
However I have only been on temporary contracts overseas and so have not emigrated. Also the countries I have lived in, are not ones who have many separated parents - all at least not officially.
It might be worth finding a forum for people emigrating to Australia or New Zealand. I would imagine there is a rule about this.

Starwisher Sat 31-Mar-12 19:10:55

Thankyou macro

Maybe a letter will surffice, I had brief look on poms in oz but only find one thread that basically had everyone saying different things.

If anyone has gone to either country be great to hear from you, or pm me if you dont want it public.

OP’s posts: |
toutpuissant Sat 31-Mar-12 19:16:18

I would try the forum section of Good luck!

Starwisher Tue 03-Apr-12 12:56:19

That British expats board is dreadful.


OP’s posts: |
toutpuissant Tue 03-Apr-12 13:31:25

Starwisher, how come? Tbh, I only ever visit the Moving Back to the UK section.

Starwisher Tue 03-Apr-12 14:24:02

I won't go into it but there are some oddballs on there!

Wish there was people on here I could talk too sad

Mind you I did make a great mistake in the tittle! E not I !

OP’s posts: |


westcoastnortherner Tue 03-Apr-12 21:55:10

Try posting on the thread on here, on Canada 2012

Starwisher Tue 03-Apr-12 22:07:03

Thanks westcoast I have done as you suggested

OP’s posts: |
chloeb2002 Wed 04-Apr-12 00:00:46

Ok.. children born after 2003 in England. father is deemed to have parental responsibility if you were married to him and / or his name is jointly registered on the birth certificate.
So ...
If you apply to live in australia ( Im not sure about NZ) you apply as a work wise for your dh I am guessing.
I know that for us my dd's dad is australian ( not on birth certificate and no parental responsibility) and i just left aus came back to the uk.. no questions asked. Now we have returned to aus the form asked us to list dependant children. ( under each parent) DH had none I had one. .. makes sense. form asked to tell them about court orders for access etc. We have none. Immigration approved our application.
Im guessing that you will need your ex dh's consent. Maybe even agree to fund 1 flight a year? to allow him to visit. That should swing it!

Starwisher Wed 04-Apr-12 02:12:51

Really, as simple ad that? We have no court orders either

But what was your daughter born before 2003, is that why it was so straight forward?

OP’s posts: |
vvviola Wed 04-Apr-12 02:20:35

It didn't apply to us - but I'm pretty sure that on the various forms I filled out for the NZ residence visa, there was a question that said something about parent of children not emigrating with them & permission obtained. The NZ immigration site is pretty good, so it would be worth checking with them. I'd be very surprised if permission wasn't needed.

Starwisher Wed 04-Apr-12 23:56:49

Thanks vvviola

Trying to get to the bottom of this and waiting for a solicitor to call me back

OP’s posts: |
Tikketyboo Thu 05-Apr-12 00:02:27

Hi I have emigrated to NZ with my 2 children when getting residency had to show permission that I have them in my custody legally.
I just have a letter from exH witnessed by a solicitor saying that he gives permission for me to emigrate with children.
NZ immigration laws are quite strict so i wouldn't chance it to be honest

Starwisher Thu 05-Apr-12 11:34:10

Hi tickety

Did your ex husband sign the paperwork quite readily or was he awkward?

I think I will definitely need a letter but waiting to hear from solicitor still. So slow to call...

OP’s posts: |
hattifattner Thu 05-Apr-12 11:44:56

Id approach your ex first, see if he would be amenable to DD visiting annually (I expect you would like to visit parents etc once a year?) or even for him to visit her in Oz. He may be OK with it.

You might also say that as he is not paying maintenance, if you have to stay in the UK, you will be seeking money through the CSA.

The combination of ideas may swing him in your direction. If not, theres always the courts. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Starwisher Thu 05-Apr-12 12:35:03

Hi Hatti. I genuinely think if he tries to stop us going then we definitely will have to seek arreas for child Maintence . He cannot prevent an income and not provide for his daughter at the same time.

Last time my dad asked why he wasnt paying he said he would do us for blackmail. I'm sure he will present it we are doing the same again! Hopefully any judge would understand that is not the case?

OP’s posts: |
hattifattner Thu 05-Apr-12 17:56:16

Ask him in writing. Make sure you spell out all the options. Then he cant say you are trying to blackmail him if it goes to court and you can present a very well thought out letter outlining all the options in a reasonable way.

Starwisher Thu 05-Apr-12 22:24:56

Thanks Hatti that's good advice. I'm scared about sending him a letter, but I should bite the bullet

OP’s posts: |
Tikketyboo Tue 10-Apr-12 05:46:01

Hi sorry for delay in replying, he was a bit difficult at first but soon came round when he realised I would take him to court (I knew he wouldn't want to spend money fighting me) and also the child maintenance would stop he was more than happy to sign. smile

Tikketyboo Tue 10-Apr-12 05:49:46

Forgot to mention he owed me thousands in maintenance and this all got wiped when we moved abroad.

SparkleSoiree Tue 10-Apr-12 06:24:13

You could try the above for advice. We have recently moved to Australia on a contract but I couldn't tell you any legitimate advice on your situation.

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