Christmas 2011

[scchtum]

My dh and our children have moved away from the UK this year.

We love where we are. We have hosted Christmas for both sides of inlaws for at least the last three years, which we loved. But this year we thought we could have Christmas just as our nuclear family. For the first time ever. But my mum has already talked about getting some flights in before they get too expensive. How can I put her off without being mean? How guilty will I feel if my dsis doesn't want to spend the day with my mum and she's alone?

[chloeb2002]

I guess Id be honest? Just explain to your mum how you feel.. maye suggets they come for new years? ( best of both worlds?) We are lucky i guess.. I ahve invited Mil two years running and she flatly refuses to visit us as that would be accepting we have moved.. my mum is very active has recently re married and has a huge social networkk. ( now lives out of the Uk in France) so I have no need for guilt! But if the event arose i would be up front and suggest a plan b.. i did do just that on our last uk christmas.. just said.. no this year we are having a family xmas.. in our home.. just us.. we will meet you and my mum for boxing day lunch...not popular.. but we had a great time!

[scchtum]

I have told her, not to book any more flights! I have hosted Christmas for at least the last three years with my mum, my lovely inlaws, and my nightmare bil and his wife. My mum is very sweet but she tends to get a bit drunk and embarrassing. I don't blame her but its not great fun for me. And now I sound mean, but she never goes to my sisters.

[scchtum]

Always the guilt. I feel terrible about what I just posted.

[Bubbaluv]

Can you speak to your sister and get her to invite your Mum?

[scchtum]

Bubbaluv that is a great idea, I will give her a ring today and see if she would like to invite my mum.

My mum doesn't ask me whether she can come until after she has booked her flights, even after I told her not to book anymore.

Thanks I needed to have a little rant, so fed up of feeling guilty.

[eslteacher]

I totally get your position, you deserve to have a Christmas where you can actually fully enjoy yourself and your own DH/DCs. But I too would feel horribly, horribly guilty turning my mum down for Christmas. I'm not sure I could do it to be honest, but then I don't have any brothers or sisters.

I think I'd have to make up some sort of pretext to diminish the sense of rejection...like neither DP or I could get time off work so there was no point in her coming this year, or say we had been invited somewhere else (and have it fall through at the last minute) or something...though maybe thats just be being a coward, and it would be better to just be honest!