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Would you move back to the UK?

(81 Posts)
justlookatthatbooty Thu 01-Sep-11 11:15:29

Been away 15 years.
Considering a move back. Part of me says, "No, Run as fast as you can in the other direction (Bali)" and part of me says, "Go for it, (not London tho) for 2 years max."
Considering rural such as Perthshire but know nothing about Perthshire whatsoever. Don't fancy being in narrow minded rough racist waters, esp for the DC;s (preschool age).

Would you move back to the UK, after years away? If so, why?

Portofino Thu 01-Sep-11 11:16:39

No. Not the way things are the moment. I miss my family and friends, and Sky+ but I am staying put.

Earlybird Thu 01-Sep-11 11:26:03

Portofino - can you elaborate on what you mean by 'not the way things are atm'?

And as for my answer to the OP - no. We went for a 3 week visit this summer. While it was lovely to be back, it didn't make me wish I lived there again. We were able to skim the surface and enjoy the wonderful things, without dealing with the deeper issues that exist (and for which there seems little solution or hope of progress).

Also, it's too expensive!

justlookatthatbooty Thu 01-Sep-11 11:30:31

Hah, this is fun! Thanks for your answers porto and earlybird. The economic and political situation is what worries me the most. Was sort of hoping that by losing myself in rural scotland I would manage to avoid most of that, but perhaps not.

More answers please!

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Thu 01-Sep-11 11:31:39

I did.
Me and DD moved to NE England about five weeks ago. It has been planned for over a year and DH has stayed on in Belgium. He will join us full time next year.
For us it was for DDs school, she has been to three already and I wasn't keen on her following us all over the world.
She is loving it.

SiamoFottuti Thu 01-Sep-11 11:33:10

No, I wouldn't, too settled...plus I don't like the government, cuts, general attitudes that seem to prevail.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 01-Sep-11 11:34:13

I only lived abroad (USA) for a couple of years when DH had a secondment. When the time came to return we felt unsure... but as soon as we were back in Yorkshire I was so glad to be home.

I guess it does depend a lot where you're living now and exactly where you would move to. Some of the 'way things are at the moment' really don't apply that much where I am (Lancashire now, rural-ish). Some of the 'deeper issues' or variants thereof exist in many other countries too - I definitely would rather be here than in the US at the moment.

sunnydelight Thu 01-Sep-11 11:35:28

No, never. I feel that I would really be failing my kids if we ever had to live there again.

kayb123 Thu 01-Sep-11 11:37:49

i moved back to england as lived in rural location and had my first daughter etc.. new young mum, i felt alone and had no-one that had children anywhere near her age, and work for my husband wasn't great either.

i moved to a rural location in england and found things better, work so much more easier to come by, but i really miss living abroad, and would move the whole family back out there if we were sure there would be a good studie job, looking back you wish you changed that done this.. oh well, at the time it seemed a good idea.

Earlybird Thu 01-Sep-11 11:43:15

If we moved back, we'd live in a lovely but far-too-small central London flat with very little possibility of upgrading to a reasonable amount of living space (would cost at least £250k to take the next 'step' up the property ladder in that area).

Dd's London school (private) costs double what we pay now in our new location.

There are other reasons too.

Having said all that, I do miss the energy/creativity of the city. And I miss my friends terribly. But regular extended visits help with that (hmmm - must make sure to read and save the 'good house guests thread for future reference. grin).

justlookatthatbooty Thu 01-Sep-11 11:53:53

OMG you're right about that Grimma..... I would never ever willingly go and live in the U.S. Feeling pale just thinking about it. In that light UK is a lovely soft bumbleville.

Yes indeed Earlybird re the costs. Huge youch.

justlookatthatbooty Thu 01-Sep-11 11:55:46

And sunnydelight. I am LOL very hard at your comment. Concisely and accurately put. But I am a little wistful for my kids to have a little of the British side brought to the fore. They have never lived there and English is their second, heavily accented language. But that's my identity issue most prob.

mummytime Thu 01-Sep-11 12:01:31

I'm surprised as I thought travel was supposed to broaden the mind. The UK isn't that bad (honestly) but neither is the US or lots of other places.
I wouldn't suggest coming back to London for a couple of years, as the cost of living is high, and if you linger then schools can become an issue.

Do more thinking. Why did you go overseas? Why come back to the UK? Are you happy where you are? Where would you like to be? What things are important to you now? Will be important in 5 years? Where and how do you want your kids educated? Go to Uni? Where will you be when you retire? Where will your kids be then? What calls you back to the UK? What keeps you away?

Please don't oversimplify, people are people where-ever.

acatcalledbob Thu 01-Sep-11 12:05:48

What sunnydelight said. I don't want my kids growing up in the UK.

Popbiscuit Thu 01-Sep-11 12:07:23

Can you elaborate on what you think some of the deeper/serious issues are with regards to raising children in the UK? I haven't lived there since I was a child but I always think if we got the opportunity I would jump at the chance (all my extended family there). Perhaps I'm being overly romantic about it and where we live now is a great place to raise kids but...it's not the UK sad
My mum was quite a young mum when we emigrated here and for years she said she wouldn't go back but now she says she misses it terribly.

Iteotwawki Thu 01-Sep-11 12:07:36

Not even if I was paid to smile

Our lives are much better in NZ than they ever were in the UK. We'll return for the occasional visit to see family but I'm never moving back.

Toobluntforboss Thu 01-Sep-11 12:08:53

Totally agree with mummytime. We lived abroad for a number of years and loved every minute of it but I wanted to move back when we had our first dc as I love it here. Yes, there are problems, but we have a great life, great family and friends and great jobs and schools. No reason to complain whatsoever. You can only do what's right for you, but if all you can see is the negative, doesn't sound like you'd be happy so probably best to stay away. Really is very personal and very dependent on your own circumstances and only you know what would work for you but general sweeping negatives about the place are unhelpful and untrue in the main.

justlookatthatbooty Thu 01-Sep-11 12:34:31

Thanks all.
Very helpful
Not sure where all the 'general sweeping negatives' are.... I'm only reading specifics here. And as for
but if all you can see is the negative, doesn't sound like you'd be happy so probably best to stay away.... to whom are you referring TooBlunt? None of the people who gave their story are in the least interested in 'coming back' and I don't think I've been seeing only the negative here. Just pointing out that you seem to have hopped in and snarled a little unnecessarily.
But I can totally understand feeling injured if you are proud of your country. I think I would feel a little of the same. As the OP, am finding people's truthful experiences and stories to be most helpful. I still sit on the Yes-No-Yes middle of the fence point. But all of this is helpful and is giving much insight into what is a genuinely difficult decision.

Portofino Thu 01-Sep-11 13:44:05

I suppose I see the benefits here mainly as a parent. I am so impressed (so far) with my experience of the Belgian system:

FT education on offer from 2.5 - 18 years.

Schools open from 7.30am to 6(or even 6.30)pm

Holiday clubs run by the local education service - between 20 and 40 euros per week.

Lots of alternative holiday activities and cheap clubs/sports facilities

A culture whereby dcs actually do these things rather than hang round the streets.

Firm discipline in class, and strict rules about attendance etc. Parents generally much stricter too.

The lack of "pub" culture ie going out to get pissed and children generally welcomed in cafes and restaurants

University/HE places available to everyone who passes their School certificate at low cost - and none of this A* nonsense.

The option to follow a "technical" vs an "academic" track at Secondary level.
Child benefit that goes UP the more children you have, and is not dependant on income.

A tax system that includes child/dependant spouse allowances with all child care - to include afterschool care and clubs/holidays etc - tax deductible. (household help such as cleaning/ironing is also covered)

Equal amounts of parental leave for both parents which can be taken all at once/in chunks until the dc is 12 yo.

With all of the above - I honestly see that it is much more beneficial to my dd to stay here.

Toobluntforboss Thu 01-Sep-11 18:24:52

Justlook I think we must read things very differently as i haven't read anything specific just comments about narrow minded racist waters and other general things. I also think you have misinterpreted what I was trying to say - I wasn't snarling at all just pointing out what I see to be a fact - if you're not sure about coming back then it's probably best you dont as it's a big move and if you're coming back to 'hide' in Perthshire from how terrible it is, then why on earth would you? Also, I'm not actually from England so don't feel protective of it just simply love my life here and do think it is a great country hence moving back when we had our first son.

Toobluntforboss Thu 01-Sep-11 18:28:01

Should also add though, good luck with whatever you decide as moving countries is a massive pain (which I'm sure you know from going abroad) but even more difficult doing it with children.

overmydeadbody Thu 01-Sep-11 18:31:14

Belgium looks good.

I guess ti depends on what country you live in as to whether children would be better off in the UK or not.

I grew up in Saudi Arabia and my parents eventually moved back after 15 years to give their DCs more opportunities and the chance to go to university, and becauce they were sick of the rules out there that meant they couldn't own a house or business because they weren't Saudi.

We had a great time there obviously, but it was never going to be my parent's permenant home.

amyboo Thu 01-Sep-11 18:40:38

I'm with portofino. We've lived in Belgium for 9 years and had DS last year. I wouldn't dream of going back to the UK - Belgium is much better set up for parents who want/need to work, DS is learning another language from birth, the school system works and has decent options for non-academic kids, less of a pub/drinking cukture, I can afford a decent house here that won't plummet in value as the housing market is very stable (& I have a fixed rate for 20 years!). OK, so income tax is pretty awful, but you gets lots back in benefits etc, so I think it works out pretty well :-)

C0smos Thu 01-Sep-11 18:49:08

I think I'd like to, I miss my friends and family and feel like I'm just existing here (South Africa), the weather is great, work is interesting, I have a nanny, cleaner and gardener. I can afford to send my son to a good private school, but it doesn't feel like home and I don't have any close friends here and really that is what's important.

Fairyloo Thu 01-Sep-11 18:51:27

Why would you want to live in Belgium though??

Portofino great reasons for Living there so you don't need to see your kids just send them to school all day!!

I have lived in oz and hated it. Full of pompous austrailians who drank all the time.

Uk for me every time you have problems everywhere but the comfort and security of home and family and friends who know and love me wins every time

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