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Germany - Child Protection Issues/Fostering (?)/Legalities

(4 Posts)
AlpinePony Mon 01-Aug-11 19:58:38

OK, quick bit of background. About 6 years ago I befriended the granddaughter of my German neighbours whilst living in Belgium.

Her parents are a disaster zone. Her mother routinely fucks off to festivals for days on end, no money left for food etc., and I suspect she uses heroin. Her older brother is physically a large man who has beaten the girl and actually broken her bones - mother made her tell the hospital she "fell". The breaks were questioned at school (tipped off by the hospital) - same story given.

Father has since re-married and the girl was living in that "stable" household with another teenage girl - an older sister if you will.

When things were very bad a few years ago I told her that I would come and get her any time she needed me to and that when she was 16 she could come. I contacted child protection in Cologne but because I didn't have enough information to give them, they didn't have enough to track her down properly.

Fast forward to today when she contacted me to say that she's been hospitalised again. This time for "stomach problems" which the doctors say are psychosomatic due to stress at home. I discovered too that the father now has a new girlfriend and they're living there - so the once stable environment has changed once again.

She's too proud to ask me to "rescue" her but I suspect that the situation is serious. I have invited her to stay at the end of the month and told her she's more than welcome to come beforehand if she fancies it. I don't want to frighten her off.

I now live in The Netherlands. Does anyone have any idea of how this might be possible for her to move here with me to be SAFE? We are very close to the German border and she'd still be able to attend a German school. She is now either 15 or 16 - I'm not quite sure. I'm a British citizen if that makes any difference at all.

MmeLindor. Wed 03-Aug-11 00:03:49

Do you speak German?

Have a look here

Basically, she has to go to the Jugendamt and tell them that she is being abused at home. If she does not do this, then you could be in deep trouble as her parents are still "Erziehungsberechtigt". Particularly since you are over the border in NL.

I cannot see the Jugendamt allowing this, they are more likely to offer her a place in a home.

Can you ask her to come for a "holiday" so that you have time to have a good chat with her, then perhaps go to the nearest Jugendamt to ask for advice.

AlpinePony Wed 03-Aug-11 10:55:05

Thank you MmeLindor. It was actually the Jugendamt I spoke to before - I just phoned on the off chance of getting an English-speaker and got lucky (another story).

I did think there would be massive issues. sad I spoke to her again yesterday and she's kind of clammed up again about the situation.

My boyfriend has agreed that she can come "on holiday" as often and whenever is needed.

One day (sooner rather than later) she will be her own legal entity and can fuck them all off - until then my hands are tied.

She's a very smart girl - we're talking Harvard scholorship style smart - and she has a US residence visa until 2019. So if she can stay "safe" until she leaves school and escape this madness (uni anywhere) then she'll be OK. A worry I have right now is that she's finding affection with boys, so have had the condom talk.

Must've done a good job as she went bright red and went "shurrrup"! smile

MmeLindor. Wed 03-Aug-11 11:03:25

Poor girl. It is "only" another two years, and if she can come to you during school holidays, that reduces her time further.

Good on you for giving her an alternative.

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