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DH taking DD1 for visit home without rest of family: crazy idea or not?

(11 Posts)
nicobean Fri 15-Jul-11 21:28:13

Hi all. DH is a very homesick American and in process of trying to find work in US, which is obviously hard at the moment. Taking all 3 DC's (DD1 4.5, DD2 2.5 and DS 6 mos) across Atlantic is difficult and expensive, and not much of a holiday when we get there as we stay with the in-laws in their cramped house with a very annoying yappy type dog.

I have suggested to DH he take DD1 to visit: it would be cheaper and DD would love it. DH says he'd rather go with DD1 than by himself. But I'm not sure if this is a good idea or not. Would DD2 be jealous and would I feel resentful and over-worked? I don't really want to move to the US (but would if DH found work), so I'm looking for ways to make life better for DH with more trips home.

I'd be very grateful to hear if anyone's done something similar.

thisisyesterday Fri 15-Jul-11 21:29:21

it sounds like a great idea to me!

ZZZenAgain Fri 15-Jul-11 21:30:36

could he take dd1 and dd2?

nulgirl Fri 15-Jul-11 21:35:36

Sounds like a good idea. My dh is French and has taken dd (almost 5) back a couple of times by themselves. I stayed here with ds who is almost 3. They had a great time a wonderful time and stayed at the in-laws. I made sure I did some nice things with ds so he didn't get too jealous.

Canella Sat 16-Jul-11 20:57:18

I've been home with only 1 of my dc before - was fine.

soymama Sat 16-Jul-11 21:28:46

Can I come? grin

kreecherlivesupstairs Sun 17-Jul-11 06:30:01

DH regularly took DD to the UK while I stayed in Switzerland. Win win for me, a week on my own and avoid the ILs.

SofiaAmes Sun 17-Jul-11 06:35:21

Fabulous idea. I know it's not quite the same, but I took my step kids one by one to the usa to visit. It's very different traveling with a 4 year old than with a 2 year old. Make sure you give your dh letter that gives him permission to travel alone with his dd.

BlooCowWonders Sun 17-Jul-11 06:59:27

we do this (and to the US), but have only done since the dc hit 8. Dh takes one at a time, they have a FAB time! The children get extra spoiled bythe grandparents, and dh catches up more than he would when we all go.

We all go as a family between times, at least once a year (but have always stayed in a motel down the road - up at any time with jet lag, out to Walmart/ Huddle house at 4 am and the dc can go and swim when it's all getting too much togetherness)

Would YOU be OK with your 4 yr old going without you?

nicobean Sun 17-Jul-11 17:59:49

Thanks for all your suggestions and advice.

Zzen One reason just to take DD1 is so that they can change planes in NY rather than going direct. I can't face plane changing with all 3, so we have to pay BA prices as only they fly that route angry

Sofia Thanks! Didn't realise I had to do this.

BlooCow I wish we could go to a motel when we are there as a family..unfortunately I think my ILs would be upset if we did. I think a once a year trip for the whole family is about all we can afford.

I am worried about how I would manage leaving DD1. The only time I have had a night away from her is being in hospital having her siblings. On the other hand, she would LOVE it, I know she would.

SofiaAmes Sun 17-Jul-11 18:13:31

Set up skype with video and you will be able to talk to her ANd see her everyday. My dh lives out of the country and the kids and I talk to him everyday on skype. It makes a huge difference to the relationship.

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