thinking of emigrating to oz advice needed please leaving sick parents behind etc?????

(6 Posts)
georgeclooneyfan Wed 06-Apr-11 15:15:30

I was born in Melbourne and did alot of high school there but been back in UK for about 20 years.My dh always talks about going out to try it for a few years has wanted this for ages. I am not overly fussed yes it would be nice to be somewhere different with nice weather. I am a worry wart anyway and feel nervous even thinking of going.my brother is in Brisbane and my parents are here in the UK My mum has cancer and she is in her mid 70's she is in remission just now and my dad doesnt keep very well either, when we talk about going with them they say oh just go dont worry about us! I know they are only saying it, I just feel bad knowing that if we went I may not see them again and if my mum has a relapse then my dad wouldnt be able to cope. I feel bad as well not trying it for my husbands sake he understands that its my folks that are keeping us here. My dd(11) is due to start secondary school this year and the thought of taking them away from friends (i have a ds9as well)etc worries me too.I think I need to take a chill pill but I can't stop thinking I will regret not at least trying it any advice would be most grateful. thanks in advance

OP’s posts: |
nothingnatural Thu 07-Apr-11 05:23:14

Could your folks afford to come and visit (and could they physically make the trip)? Could you afford to come back regularly to see them, particularly if your mum was ill again?

It sounds to me that you are putting forward lots of reasons not to leave tbh. Do your parents have any other children or close family in the UK?

Why is your dh so keen to go, is he unhappy at work or with the uk or does he just fancy an adventure?

Could you go for a long holiday - do your research into jobs/houses/schools etc then be in a better position to make the decision?

It is VERY difficult. I moved to Oz a few years ago leaving all my family and friends behind. My parents are relatively young (60's) and in good health but it's still the most traumatic thing I've ever done. But . . . on the upside I do like it here now and am not sure I would return even if the opportunity presented itself.

georgeclooneyfan Thu 07-Apr-11 15:15:26

Thanks nothingnatural for the advice I do agree that I am not that keen to go but sometimes I am. I just worry about everything. I try and think if my folks weren't in the picture anymore would I still want to go and the answer is I don't know I am very indecisive as you have probably guessed. My dh really wants to try living somewhere different for a while change of scenery, lifestyle and most of all the weather.~We have friends who moved to perth about 3 years ago and love it and when he keeps hearing how great they are getting on he is jealous and wants to try it.He said we didn't need to live there forever and a day a few years see what happens, I know my kids will adapt and make friends it is just the thought of it. My folks have been out to visit my brother a few times but it is expensive and they aren't really getting any fitter or younger They don't really have any other family in the UK if we were to leave. It is difficult and I just wonder if I am missing an opportunity I am sure it would all work out in the end. Glad you are enjoying Oz. thanks again

OP’s posts: |
nothingnatural Thu 07-Apr-11 23:02:57

Could you agree to go for a year or perhaps two?

Rent our your house, get the kids into schools whilst their still relatively young and have an end date so that you don't freak out so much about leaving your parents so much and your dh and you all get an adventure?

Can you find jobs in Oz? Remember though Melb does have a very different climate to Perth. Perth V hot and sunny, Melb not so much.

nothingnatural Thu 07-Apr-11 23:03:32

A year does go by very quickly you know.

chloeb2002 Sun 10-Apr-11 22:11:55

I guess firstly can you come to aus? Did you have citizenship/ pr before you left 20 years ago and can you still sponser dh? Also therefore could your parents still return and live too without shelling out huge sums of money? or do you have employment etc that would secure you a visa? Id say thats the first hurdle...
Then i guess it depends what you want to do? I suspect if you dont want to really do it you wont? Its not an easy thing to do! At the end of the day the children would in most peoples reasons for coming be very high up on the list, better lifestyle. stuff for kids to do, uni is more affordable, good schools..the list is long.. sports.. outside lifestyle.... kids make new friedns and are very adaptable.
As far as parents are concerened/.. ye si love mine very much but ultimately i see my role as a parent to bring my children up to let them fly the nest. I would be very upset if they felt they coldn't do something because i may get sick, die etc... ultimately we will all die at some point be it at a young age or a very old one.. you could be waiting for that for the next 30 years! as a nurse i would suggest that you are not indespensible they will be looked after and care for when they are sick. You will have the chance to go back and see them and stay for as long as you wish to.
I tend to suggest to people you dont go with the .. we will stay for x length of time.. as it makes it easier tosay oh dear... look been here x long and now im off... then you dont try as hard to adapt/ make friends and a life , with 50 % of expats returning the odds are hard enough!
I suspect from your posts that maybe you are looking more for someone to say no.... stay in the uk.... you cant possibly leave...????

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