We moved overseas in January and ds1 has still not settled in. On a day-to-day level he just about copes - he goes to school, does his work and seems to have made a few friends - but he is very unhappy. 
He has started wetting the bed again (he only stopped around October time); he has cried a few times because he misses his friends back in England; he is very grumpy with me, ds2 and ds3 and today he hurt a lovely boy at school because he thought this boy was 'teasing' him.
I would be untruthful if I described this behaviour as uncharacteristic. It is rare, but in fact characteristic of what happens when he's really bothered by something. He's not very outgoing and I have always found it hard to get him to talk about his feelings, or what has happened at school.
I know there have been a few episodes at school here. He hurt himself badly in the playground a few weeks ago and none of his so-called friends came to check if he was okay. And yesterday he was upset that they laughed at him when he fell off the trampoline in gym. I don't know if anything worse has happened. I do worry that picking on a younger, gentler boy as he did this morning points to bullying type behaviour and that ds1 has been bullied previously. I am talking to his teacher at school today but I don't know how much they will be able to help with the larger picture.
We have spoken to one English friend via Skype, and sent postcards and e-mails to others. Regarding settling in here, we are making a list of things we would like to do (special things that we wouldn't be able to do in England). He's not into team games (unfortunately) so he doesn't want to join a rugby/footie/soccer club. He's very keen on athletics but the season doesn't start again until summer. I try to be as positive as I can with him while also acknowledging that he is unhappy, and also setting boundaries for unacceptable behaviour. I know it will all take time but if there are any hints anyone else has I would love to hear them.
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Living overseas
Aargh! Ds1 really unsettled, any advice welcome.
HighFibreDiet · 16/03/2011 01:18
It took my dd1 who was 5 at the time a little while to settle in. Ultimately though she did, in fact having school and a place to go has helped her really. Her life has more similaraties than differences with the life she had before. Unlike mine!
She was quite lonely I think, as she had been at school before we came, but didn't start here until two months later. I had to, and still do, work at her friendships for her. She is not outgoing. To sort of fill in the gaps as she had left so many people behind that she loved and that loved her. I am always having children over after school and things, and that is all gap filling.
Are you in Sydney, I seem to remember. The 'Little Athletics' here (Melbourne) is still running now here as I overheard someone grumbling about it this morning.
Perhaps he is unhappy at school anyway and it's not anything to do with being here. But being here is another separate thing he is unhappy about.
Thanks so much for your replies. Yes, we are in Sydney. The athletics near us has finished until September but I wonder if there are other groups that do it year-round?
I have been inviting friends round and he has his birthday coming up although I think just making the list made him miserable as he commented that he didn't have many friends to invite .
I also wonder if savoycabbage is right in that there are two separate issues going on here. I hope the teachers come up with some ideas to help in school at least.
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