Have you Moved older children back to the UK?

[PorcupineA]

Hi

I'm a long time lurker, occasional poster and have started to name change quite a bit.:)

I would really appreciate hearing other people's experiences.

We moved to the other side of the world (I don't want to give any more details!) two and a half years ago.

Things are great but I don't know if we will be here forever and wouldn't be surprised if in a few years DP and I want to go back to the UK.

That is fine but DD will be 13 and DS 11. I worry that England won't feel like home to them. Do you think you can get to know your country and feel at home again if you move back when you are 13? I would hate for her to not feel at home in her own land.

She moved here when she was 7. She loves it here.

I'm not so worried about DS. Though do you think 11 is a funny age to move too?

Sometimes I feel that we are having a great life experience and doing great things. Other times I feel we have cocked everything up and are screwing up the DC's sense of identity.

Anyone have any experiences to share, of your children, or maybe yourselves when you were young? Thank you very much.

[PorcupineA]

bump

[Guacamohohohole]

I can give you experience from my perspective as a child, not as a parent.
I was 13 and my brother was 11 when we moved to Singapore... We came back to the UK when I was 16 and my brother was 14.
It was fine, we came back at a perfect time schooling wise, therefore our schooling was not interrupted. We picked up ridiculously American accents at school so when we came back all suntanned and accented we were the coolest kids in our new school, everyone wanted to be our friend, so no difficulty making friends.
One thing that really struck me when we came back on the drive home from the airport were the fields and the cows... I still remember that feeling, of England being a very different green and I'd not seen a cow in 3 and 1/2 years!
It really was fine and I consider my experience in Singapore just that, an amazing experience, I consider England home and always did.

[Guacamohohohole]

BTW I'm now 33, so this was quite a while ago!

[anonymosity]

I also returned to the uk but at 16 after 5 years. It wasn't as easy as I left a lot of freedom in terms of school, for a fairly strict environment though I had been back at least every year to see relatives, so it was just the school which was problematic for me....

[PorcupineA]

Sorry not to have got back for a while.

Thank you Guacamohohohole and Anonymosity, that is very interesting and encouraging.

I think one of our problems is that we don't know what we are doing for definite so don't know whether to encourage them to think of England as home or not!

[Valpollicella]

I can also give a perspective as a child moving back to the UK.

Having spent 4 years out of the country and then returning, it was hard. But also exciting at the same time. To be honest I was more concerned that they wouldn't have real pasta here I thought the only pasta they sold was in tins - I was NOT happy about that )

Keeping them informed will be key - for some reason I think I was led to believe that we would be living in some kind of lovely huge house. I was most disappointed that I ended up sharing with my sister and the house was teeeny. So the more pictures, and information you give them the better.

Any more questions please do shout :D

[anonymosity]

Its interesting what you say about "home" PorcupineA. I tell my children (we are always moving house) that home is where your family / loved ones are - regardless of the building or the town etc. But I know that somewhere deep down I felt like the US was home so now that I'm living here again with my own family, it feels very right to be here. I guess what you're really doing is expanding their options in the longer-term.

[thanksamillion]

There are a couple of books that might be worth your while reading on TCKs. One that we've got and I've dipped into is Third Culture Kids by Pollock and Van Reken The other one I read was by Marion Knell called Families on the Move but I think (it's a while since I looked at it) it's more geared to before you move. But it might have something useful

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Me and DD (9.7) will be moving back to England next year. She has never lived in the UK and thinks of it as a holiday destination.
DH and I decided that she would be best doing her last year of juniors then going to senior school with (fingers crossed) some friends.

[happychappy]

We about to it probably, so I'll keep you posted!