NC but long time member.
This year has started in the worst possible way for my family. My dad is losing his battle with cancer and we have been told he just has a few weeks left. We are heartbroken and in disbelief as it's been very quick.
He is in a hospice and has today tested positive for covid. Thankfully they are still allowing us to visit but obviously it's at our own risk. I've been so stringent with the covid rules as I was terrified of our family catching it but now I have the heartbreaking choice of not seeing my dad in his last few weeks or the very high risk of picking it up and bringing it home.
Obviously I can't not see him and will take the risk but I'm so scared. Also incredibly worried for my mum who is nearly 60 and is spending hours upon hours, sometimes overnight with him. She no longer seems to care about covid which is understandable but I'm terrified she will get sick too. I can't comprehend losing them both.
All I see daily is how many people are dying from covid and how it's affecting so many people in their fifties. I'm a nervous wreck while also dealing with the grief of what is about to come. I need some sort of support or reassurance or I feel like I'm going to go mad.
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Life-limiting illness
So so scared
DazedandConfused27 · 21/01/2021 10:58
Oh OP, you poor thing. I have no advice, but I have a free hand for you to hold. 
Thank you it's just a horrendous situation to be in 
So sorry you are facing this. I lost my mum just before Christmas. She had cancer but covid sped things up. She caught covid in the hospital. We were not allowed to visit. I'm finding it really hard now thinking of her dying without anyone she knew with her.
I personally would have risked myself getting covid but would have isolated from my husband and children. In your mums position I'd probably feel the same and risk it to be there. It's an awful time 
Nearly 60 is still quite young as a potential risk factor for Covid and there's every chance she would get it mildly.
So sorry, it just adds shit onto an already shit situation, my mum died last July and due to Covid restrictions very few of us could sit with her and it ended up being mostly me.
I don't think I've ever felt as lonely in my life, the usual rituals around a family member dying are not there.
and 
I wonder how you’re doing @DazedandConfused27? I read your short thread and it resonates with me as I am in a pretty identical situation and I think my father has days, maybe a week or two. Wherever one is on this painful journey, with a loved one coming to the end or if bereaved, it is a lonely feeling anyway, made much harder by the restrictions of Covid and the distraction of Covid which I’ve found means people don’t really ask how things are. Whatever has happened in the intervening weeks since you posted, I wish you and your family all strength
(And the same to others here who have been through it too).
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