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Will it feel real eventually?

(5 Posts)
IRBJan17 Tue 05-May-20 02:24:44

My 82yr old grandad has just found out that he has cancer but at the moment they aren't sure if it's of the blood or the lung. After reading a few bits of info my suspicions are that it's of the blood as some of the symptoms he's been experiencing a long time and Theyv been treat as other conditions, understandably as there's never been any indication of a more serious illness.Theyv only done these tests now as he had pneumonia a few weeks ago and the fluid thru drained off his lung was tested.

He's currently back in hospital with a chest infection, because of lockdown noone is obv allowed to visit. My nanna has spoken to him for 2 minutes on the phone today before we found out the diagnosis but that's all the contact any of us have had directly with him for the last week. Then 2 hours later we got told that they would not be treating it, just making him comfortable and hoping to get him home. They obviously can't give a timescale as they are unsure what type it is.

He's 82, i know that logically speaking he's going to pass away at some point because he's getting oder etc, but being told that he's ill and it is going to kill him at some point in the not too distant future is so hard to comprehend. I have a toddler who adores him and I can't imagine the thought of having to explain to him why grandad is no longer there when we visit.

I also feel so awful about him being in hospital on his own with noone he loves around and being told this devastating information. At the moment there's biopsies etc to do along with him still being quite unwell generally so there's no idea when hell be able to come home either.

This was a really rambling post with not alot of point really besides getting it off my chest I suppose, my apologies and Thankyou if you made it to the end ❤️

OP’s posts: |
Minxmumma Wed 06-May-20 06:34:41

So sorry you find yourselves facing this. Gentle hugs. Such a difficult time compounded by current circumstances.
Hopefully as soon as they have definitive answers they can put a plan together with your local hospice to try and get him home with any support he needs.

I know what you mean about your tot. Am in similar circumstances with my Mum, I am not attempting to address her not being there until it happens.

Shinjirarenai Wed 06-May-20 07:57:58

Kids will generally absorb what's going on what with hospital visits etc (when they happen again), unless they are very small. It's important for them and the ailing person that they see each other.

My own kids were involved throughout the deaths of both my parents including visits to funeral homes, and they handled it beautifully. We just told them the truth, and dealt with death when we got to it.

My heart goes out to anybody dealing with this in the current situation. Support your gf as best you can, and have faith that things may work out no matter how difficult they seem at present.

Realityversus Thu 07-May-20 01:55:55

Thank you both so much for replying ❤️ we're facing it as a family and getting him home as quick as we can so that we can have as much time together as possible ❤️

I'm so sorry to you both for having been through/be going through this yourselves

Shinjirarenai Thu 07-May-20 09:48:47

It's all part of life Realityversus - we can deal with it well or badly, and I know which I'd prefer.

Lots of people need encouragement and gentle support, not least the sick person. Also remember he is still with you now. Nobody goes anywhere until it's their time. Focus on making his time pleasurable - it may continue for a lot longer than you expect.

I hope you get him home fairly soon.

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