Terminally ill friend

[CrazyHappyMom]

First time posting on here but I am on here a lot. My dear friend is terminally ill,cancer. She is not even 40 yet and has 2 young children. I have idea what to say or do other than what I am doing,just bumbling around helping out with the kids and cracking jokes. She is a fun loving larger than life character and one of the nicest genuine people I have ever met. I just want to know any places that may be able to help and do nice things for her and the children to make memories. Her own mother died when she was very young so she knows first hand how much it hurts to grow up without a mother. I just really want to do something nice for them but I am blank. Thanks x

[starryeyed19]

I'm so sorry for you and your friend and her family but what you're doing sounds pretty nice. Take lots of photos and print them out and put them into frames and albums? If your friend is up to it, writing letters for them? Or writing down things she remembers from when they were babies? Or funny things that happened growing up?

[YetAnotherThing]

This is so awful and am so sorry. How about asking her the things she had wished for when she was a child. She probably has good insight. Aside from memories for kids, I guess for her really knowing that you (or others) will always be there to support her kids (when maybe they go off the rails as angry teenagers without their mum). Also bumbling around, helping out and cracking jokes is top-mate behaviour. Good luck to you all.

[rebelrosie12]

My mum died relatively young from cancer and she said she just wished people would ask how she was. Her friends all tiptoed around her not wanting to upset her but in the end nobody asked her how she was feeling. I'll always remember that.
Sorry to hear about your friend what an awful situation.

[CrazyHappyMom]

Thank you everyone. She is lucky in the sense of how many great friends and family members she has. I have kept the same silly sense of humour throughout the illness as she is such a funny person. It just feels so helpless. I will take these ideas on board xx

[JeNeBaguetteRien]

So sorry to hear about your friend OP.
It sounds like you are being there for her.
I guess you want to support her practically and emotionally.
Practically is there someone who will bring up her children or does she need help with those kind of arrangements.

Emotionally I can't imagine how she is feeling but sadly she will have insight into growing up without her mum.
A PP mentioned still being around when the kids are teenagers, maybe write down some funny stories from her teenage years if you've known her that long. Any dates that went wrong or crimes against fashion. If she has a daughter when she started her periods or her experience of pregnancy - I imagine that would be a time many years down the line when the loss of her mum would be felt, knowing little things about her may help.

Maybe a couple of favourite recipes to pass on or songs she likes.

www.winstonswish.org work with bereaved children, there shoukd be something locally that might allow them to have special memories before she passes away. If she's not very well, remember the special memories can be cuddles on the sofa or a picnic on the floor or camping under the table, just fun things for them to do together.

I hope you too have some support. 🌸

[CrazyHappyMom]

Thanks so much. Luckily the children have their farther so that side of things is not a worry but it's more the emotional side of things for her and the children I'm trying to help with x

[HyggeHeart]

So sorry about your friend. Have you tried the Osborne Trust, the support children of parents with cancer x www.theosbornetrust.com/all-our-support/
Xx