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How do I offer this help without offending?

(6 Posts)
Goingalonenow Fri 12-Oct-18 01:22:40

A colleague and friend of mine is facing the end with her DP. It's a matter of weeks. Financially she's not in a good place, fighting DWP and not on a lot of hours.

All she wants before he dies is to be married. I've looked into the local registrar and getting them to an approved place, I can just about afford to pay for it. I want to pay, I want to take this strain away from her (she is struggling to afford basics)

How do I go about offering? I don't want to offend. I want to help make this happen before he dies. I just don't know how to offer.

OP’s posts: |
AjasLipstick Fri 12-Oct-18 03:19:07

Does he want to get married too? If you're certain then you tell her

"If you want to get married then my wedding gift to you is that I' will pay for the wedding"

And if she protests, tell her that it's an honour to be able to help such a couple and not a chore...and that it's your wedding present to them.

stellabird Fri 12-Oct-18 03:29:52

What a lovely gesture for you to make. I'm sure it would not offend them at all, if you simply said " If you would like to get married , I'd like to give you the wedding as a gift". If they have very limited time, you need to do this asap. Good for you, you are very kind.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 12-Oct-18 04:02:27

Are you in the UK? There are some charities that can help with the cost of weddings for terminally ill people too. Maybe you could offer to contact one on her behalf. It's very kind of you to offer to pay, but you say you can only just afford it and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to end up struggling financially.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Fri 12-Oct-18 04:09:53

Gift of a wedding

Wish for a wedding (they ask you to pay for an urgent wedding licence so you could offer to cover the cost of that)

The Wedding Wishing Well Foundation

There might also be local charities if you Google your area.

Goingalonenow Fri 12-Oct-18 08:44:44

Thank you all. I've told her I'm happy to pay and looked into the charities. Time is an urgent factor for them.

He wants to get married too. 27 years together and they never got around to it.

OP’s posts: |

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