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How on earth can she go like this?

(6 Posts)
Mysticaltrip Fri 24-Aug-18 21:31:23

My mum has Alzheimer's- she's had it for many years and is now in the end stages. She's doubly incontinent, can only say a few words and they don't make sense, she sleeps on and off all day, otherwise she's laying in her pressure controlled bed staring into space.
She retains urine so has a Foley catheter, her leg skin is breaking down so she's bandaged up to the knees. Yet she goes on, and on and on. She eats because she opens her mouth when anything is put near - it's simply a reflex.
I always wished she would never see these very late stages and hoped that something would intervene to take her peacefully before she got here. I wish every day that today is the day she'll be released but it just isn't happening, she's got good colour and appears to be still quite a large woman. I don't know why I'm posting - perhaps just hoping someone else can say it'll be all over soon - for her and for us.

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Windyone Fri 24-Aug-18 21:33:41

Sorry I've no experience that can help. Awful for you and your family flowers

MyNameIsArthur Sat 25-Aug-18 21:44:11

I'm sorry you are having to see your mum go through this Mystical. My dad had Alzheimer's and died 3 years ago. Once he lost the ability to walk and became inactive, he became more prone to urine and chest infections and he became weaker as the infections became more frequent. In the end, he caught a chest infection and over a period of 3 weeks he was on palliative care and then passed away. It was hard seeing my dad in the final stage of Alzheimer's but at the same time, I enjoyed holding his hand and it was lovely when he smiled at me. I got to say loads of things I wanted to say to him even though I knew he probably didn't know what I was saying. I think he sensed love and warmth and he died peacefully as I held his hand. I can't say how long your mum has. Could be days, weeks, months. Am sure she will be comfortable and will die peacefully when it happens. Just appreciate the little time you have left with her and shower her with your love. I miss my dad and wish I could hold his hand again and talk to him, even though he was as you described your mum towards the end. Am here if I can be of any support to you. Keep me posted as to how she is doing. God bless x

Grasslands Sat 25-Aug-18 21:49:12


PaintBySticker Sat 25-Aug-18 21:52:46

I’m so sorry. I can’t say much more than that. Please try to do things to look after yourself and that make you happy if you can. It’s an enormous strain on you.

My grandma had dementia and we were told that physically she was healthy and could live for years. She had a series of TIAs and then a stroke and died sooner than expected. We were all sad for the woman she had been but no one wished she’d lived longer the way she was.

Mysticaltrip Sun 26-Aug-18 11:49:35

Thanks all, sometimes I need to write it down as I can't bring myself to say I want her to pass away. She's just bumping along the bottom now but seems to survive every infection, illness etc. All I can think of is that her will to live must be still there somewhere. Love to all that have trodden this path before me, it's a hard road for sure.

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