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Pancreatic cancer

(13 Posts)
WentworthMillerMad Sat 14-Oct-17 13:22:26

Hello everyone. I just found out yesterday that the chemo for my dad's pancreatic cancer has to stop. It's making him so unwell and it isn't making any difference to the size of the (large) tumour on his pancreas. It's pain relief only from now on. His oncologist has been fantastic - as has all of his care in the part of England that he lives.
Has anyone any experience of this disease? We all know his time left is now short and to say we are devestated is an understatement. I am grateful that we can hopefully have some good days together although we are all overwhelmed just now. My sister lives in Spain and will be over as much as she can.
I suppose I am just asking for anyone who has been in this position to share (if you feel able) to give me and my family an idea of what to expect.
Thanks in advance x

PinkFluffyFairy Sat 14-Oct-17 20:51:35

Hi WENT, sorry I have no experience in this type of cancer but I just wanted to say I'm sorry your dad, you and your family are in this position (I know how you feel).
You're right to try and make these days now memorable.
Sending you lots of love. 💕🌈 x

glitterbiscuits Sat 14-Oct-17 22:41:12

Sorry to read about your Dad. My mum had pancreatic cancer and died from it in 1998. It was pretty grim I can give you some more info if you want but do not want to terrify you. From all I have read nothing much has changed in the way of treatment. It’s one of the poor relations of cancer.

WentworthMillerMad Sun 15-Oct-17 13:51:49

Thanks everyone. Yes glitter I think I am ready to face the reality of what's happening.
Could you PM me as do t want to upset anyone reading this. Big thanks

glitterbiscuits Wed 18-Oct-17 08:10:25

Hi, I haven’t worked out how to PM through the app. I will log onto PC later

DreamADream Sun 22-Oct-17 18:21:37

Hi, a close family member of mine died of pancreatic cancer earlier this year. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. It really is a properly bastard type of cancer to get.

In our case, he actually hung on for years longer than expected, which surprised everyone! I think it was about 2 years after the end of chemo, which was quite amazing really. I know it's usually a lot, lot sooner.

I think the hardest part for me was the not knowing, I spent 3 years on a knife edge wondering when it was going to happen (his cancer relapsed following surgery, so we knew it was terminal as soon as it came back).

If you want to pm me, I'm happy to chat!

WentworthMillerMad Mon 23-Oct-17 12:32:52

Thanks Dream - he is actually pain free just now and up and about so that's a blessing. I would love to plan a family Christmas but feels too far away just now. He oncologist says there is progress with treatment, sadly not for us but here's hoping for a major break through soon x

Flyingprettycretonnecurtains Thu 02-Nov-17 18:20:04

Really sorry. My father went very quickly. His heart packed up with all the water retention. It was unexpected but merciful because we was in pain and not saying and deeply frustrated at not being able to be busy and out and about. He first had symptoms in January and died in March after only the second lot of chemo.

Drizz Mon 06-Nov-17 13:46:16

So sorry Wentworth. My dad has hit the end of the road with treatments for pancreatic cancer last week. He was first diagnosed last year and he's managed to postpone the inevitable with chemo for much longer than we expected. I can't tell you about the road ahead, because it sounds like we're in very much the same stage but I am happy to support/chat/cry together if that is any use to you.

WentworthMillerMad Tue 07-Nov-17 21:08:57

Hi drizz - I am so sorry to hear that. It’s an awful disease. Yes I will keep posting / chatting.
My dad looks so thin and frail and he has lost the light in his eyes. I had a really low day on Sunday but being busy at work is a welcome distraction for me just now. Need to talk to the kids very soon and tell them the situation which I am dreading.

Drizz Wed 08-Nov-17 20:18:56

How old are your children, Wentworth? Mine are 1 and 3 and we haven't told them, as we really didn't know when it would be necessary and the baby obviously won't understand. Our bright three yo has cottoned on, I think as he's been asking when people die, and where they go when they are dead... He does know dad is ill.

Re: christmas, my dad has three secondaries in the liver and is expected to see christmas, so yours might well too. We are postponing the conversation about what we'll do and how until it is a bit clearer how he feels by then, he's very scared of the pain recurring (he's had quite invasive pain management which has worked very well, but has had a taste of what is too come).

Handhold and look after yourself!

whitepearl17 Wed 08-Nov-17 21:15:47

Hi OP and everyone else. I am so sorry to hear what you're going through or have been through. Pancreatic cancer is an evil cancer but I can give some hope. Seven years ago my dh was diagnosed with it. He had a whipple's procedure to remove his tumours and now he is fit and healthy. Well apart from having to live on meds and be very careful about what he eats. He ran a marathon earlier this year to raise money for pancreatic cancer. Take care x

pilou Wed 08-Nov-17 21:26:48

Hi OP. I’m so sorry. My mum died of pancreatic cancer 10 years ago next month. She was given a few months but ended up managing nearly a year. Getting the palliative care right is really important. The Macmillan nurse was great. Mum managed to be up, dressed and engaged with what was going on right the way up to the day before she died. We couldn’t do much for her about the illness but we made sure just to be around as much as possible. Sorry you are having to go through this.

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