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Fuck it all, my cancer has spread

(103 Posts)
elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:28:00

Hoping someone is out there similarly unable to sleep.

I had breast cancer in 2014, found out it had spread to my bones last October & now (yesterday) was told I have small tumours in both lung and liver.

I'm waiting to find out what my options are but the stupid thing is that I feel COMPLETELY FINE.

My oncologist has been trying to give me some positives, but it all seems completely bloody hopeless tbh. My DH & I celebrated 10yrs of marriage this year and my darling DC are just 6 and 9

Not sure what I'm asking here more than a hand hold tbh. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep.

MrsMontgomerySmythe Fri 06-Oct-17 05:31:02

So sorry to hear this.

Life can be very unfair sometimes.

Hoping for a more positive outcome for you and that you are surrounded my family and love and support during these difficult times.

fairyofallthings Fri 06-Oct-17 05:31:42

I'm sorry you've had bad news sadmy battery is just about to give up so I can't stay but I am thinking of you.

Theworldisfullofidiots Fri 06-Oct-17 05:31:52

Hand hold here. Not sure what to say but hand holding. Sounds shit tbh. Sorry.

elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:32:34

Thanks Mrs
For unfortunate reasons my DH is not with me until tomorrow although lovely mates have scooped me up and let me howl at them.

Henriettacat Fri 06-Oct-17 05:32:57

Sorry to hear this. Life can be so very unfair. Hoping that there is a good prognosis and outcome for you and your family

elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:34:23

Thanks all, this time in the morning is so lonely
My oncologist was (relatively) upbeat about there being good options for me which are not chemo (yet) but honestly, this is just shit

highinthesky Fri 06-Oct-17 05:34:28


It sounds unlikely, but being positive is probably the one thing that will help the most at this stage. You and DC are in my prayers xxx

MostIneptThatEverStepped Fri 06-Oct-17 05:37:49

How absolutely shit that is, I'm so sorry. Howl and rant all you like.
I'm not surprised you can't sleep xxx

LadyWithLapdog Fri 06-Oct-17 05:38:26

I'm so sorry to hear this 🌺

Theworldisfullofidiots Fri 06-Oct-17 05:38:54

When do you see the oncologist next?

Fightthebear Fri 06-Oct-17 05:39:34

That's so shit, I'm sorry.

After someone close to me had terrible health problems I really struck me that we all need to focus on making the most of whatever time we have, however much that turns out to be. flowers

EssentialHummus Fri 06-Oct-17 05:39:53

That is absolutely shit, I’m sorry.

elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:44:34

I see a new oncologist on Monday to look at my options. I know I'll feel better and more in control once I have a plan, but just getting through this weekend will be a bloody slog

MoonCheeseApple Fri 06-Oct-17 05:45:05

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not sure what to say but thinking about you and your DDs.

2017SoFarSoGood Fri 06-Oct-17 05:45:05

Well bastard cancer at it again. So sorry OP. Howl. Scream. Rant.

Then gather your strength for whatever comes next. 💐

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary Fri 06-Oct-17 05:45:47

I'm so sorry. I have no idea what the right thing is to say but I'm here and able to listen.

Theworldisfullofidiots Fri 06-Oct-17 05:47:21

What do you need to do to get through the weekend?

elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:48:29

I had been doing so well on my current treatment for it in the bones, the treatment was really minimal and was working well - I am fit and able to go running etc
This feels like such a blow & I feel like I've been fast forwarded to a really dark place where I am not ready to go yet

elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:49:26

This weekend I think I need to cuddle my kids, try to be kind to myself, take sleeping tablets. Any other ideas?

HappenedForAReisling Fri 06-Oct-17 05:50:00

I'm so sorry OP.

From what I've heard and read, oncologists don't like to bullshit and give false hope so I have my fingers crossed that there are good options there for you to get you on the road to recovery asap.

OneInEight Fri 06-Oct-17 05:51:08


elportodelgato Fri 06-Oct-17 05:51:38

Yes my oncologist is very straight with me. When I told her I might as well jump in front of a bus, she told me I wasn't allowed to as she hadn't given me permission to give up yet. So.

Theworldisfullofidiots Fri 06-Oct-17 05:54:39

Sounds like a good plan. Mine would be keep busy get outside and run around with kids. Get physically tired so I'd sleep a bit (?). We belong to the NT so I'd visit somewhere.

ladyballs Fri 06-Oct-17 05:57:03

Sorry to hear that OP. Your plan for the weekend sounds like a good one. flowers

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