I'm sitting here with my darling DF in the hospice as he is in the end stages of cancer and suffering so much. It's horrendous. I'm seeing him slowly disappear in front of my eyes as this awful disease takes my DF away from his family. As well as needing to be there for my DF and DM, I am also struggling to support my two DDs. One has severe depression and is unable to be at school, the other has autism which is causing severe anxiety. But they need me so much and I am feeling as though I'm being torn in so many directions. I'm not sleeping and am conscious that one DD is awake most of night as well. The other DD sleeps in my bed as she is so insecure about life in general. Their grandad's illness is simply making their little lives even harder. There are no friends or family I can turn to and I feel so stressed. I cannot believe that we are losing my DF and to see him in pain, frightened, angry, confused, weak is beyond words. Both DDs have specialists who they see but obviously these appointments are sporadic but I'm left to cope and support them every day when I feel so drained already. There's no let up. As I look up at my DF from the keyboard as I'm typing this, I feel as though I want to pick him up and run away from this terrifying situation. As though running would make him all better again!
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Life-limiting illness
Struggling to cope with DF dying
8 replies
Retreatbynameretreatbynature · 01/10/2017 12:49
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