My dad might be ill. I don't want to go into details but some further tests will reveal things properly in the coming weeks.
He was in tears when he told me today. I live abroad so we were chatting over Skype. I am going home in a few weeks thankfully so don't need to rush back, but I do feel bad for living elsewhere. And in fact I posted recently about this being one of my fears (parents health declining whilst I am in a different country). My sibling lives abroad too, much further than me.
My head is racing with thoughts of the short/medium/long-term. I know it's futile to speculate or worry until we know what we're dealing with but I've felt sick all day.
This is my dad. My hero. He's driven me up the wall as he's got older but I love him so much. We were supposed to be planning his 70th birthday celebrations but now nothing looks certain.
I knew the time would come when my parents would become elderly or experience poor-health but I'm not ready yet. And my dad isn't either.
Not sure why I'm posting really.
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Life-limiting illness
Bad news today, feeling sick and teary.
BonApp · 15/07/2017 18:15
It's really really hard when we have to face Upton our parents ageing and, or illness 
It's shit, I'm sorry My dad's been ill for so long that day to day, it's just 'how he is' now but sometimes it hits me how early it happened, what things used to be like and how young my sibling and I were (though adults, just).
Give yourself time to get over the initial shock and be kind to yourself. Do/give yourself what you want for now. I hope you've got someone you can lean on in RL, too.
It's such a shock, isn't it? Allow yourself the luxury of a good cry if that's how you feel. And would he want you to never go anywhere or do anything with your life just to always be right by his side? I doubt it, so don't beat yourself up about that.
Thank you all.
I have DH and small DC and have been crying on and off today which helps, as I feel it bubbling up and it has to come out.
I've got a horrid headache and my chest feels a bit squished somehow but I'm ok.
There's lots of questions running around in my mind, and the 'story so far' of what my dad told me this morning is a bit blurry now so I might call him again tomorrow to discuss it.
I'm worried about letting him see that I'm stressed/upset though - he'll hate that I'm worried. And whilst he won't downplay things or withhold info, I want him to tell me it'll be ok and I don't know that he can. He's usually quite laid back and I can see he's very worried and upset which is making me think the worst. He's usually the first to say "nah, don't worry, it'll all be fine, these things sort themselves out"
I'm scared that this is just the beginning and that the really shit bits are yet to come.
Selfishly, I don't know if it how I'll be able to cope. I barely have the head/heartspace to "give" to my nearest and dearest as it is, let alone throwing this beast into the mix.
Sending my sympathies, BonApp. It sounds as if this news was out of the blue, which is always a dreadful shock - like a physical blow, as well as the emotional element. Also, you have no definite information yet do your imagination is free to think the worst. It is a horrible feeling to know that someone you love is suffering, far away from us, and we are not there with them to ease their pain. I sincerely hope things are not as bad as you fear, and either your Dad is alright or something can be done for him.
for you. I know how you feel. My dad had a bad diagnosis this year and he's suddenly become a frail old man. It's heartbreaking. Like you say, he's your hero.
My dad is surprisingly honest and tells us everything (weather we want to know or not!)
I hope things arnt as bad as you fear xx
op you're in a horrid position and it's very difficult to know how to react with so many unknowns. You're not alone though which I hope is some small comfort. This week I ran/crutched between a cardiac ward that my mum is on and A+E downstairs where my grandad was after another heart attack. In the car home my MIL and I just looked at each other like wtf? Life throws some seriously unfunny curveballs. Please ignore my ramblings, grandad has a few months left and my head is fucked. Hope and hugs for everyone
for everyone going through this. Its bloody tough.
This is my dad's 4th major illness, 1 was cancer which was successfully treated. All the other things have lingered and this latest thing is untreatable.
It's so sad, has he not been through enough!!? Most people would be unlucky to get one thing but my lovely strong as an ox dad had to get 4
Sorry for going on 😔
Spoke to dad again. He said he was a bit overcome with emotion when he told me that tests were needed, but he sounded much calmer and more like his laid back self. I asked him his gut feeling on the results and he says he really doesn't know. There's a whole host of possibilities that this thing could be, ranging from really minor to really horrific. There is confirmation that there is something there but it could lay dormant for years/forever, or it could be causing problems.
I'm still a bit wobbly and feel queasy at the thought of the results, but work is a good distraction.
Feeling that hope and PMA are very random concepts as they won't change anything. Funny, as I usually believe in "asking the universe" and right now I'm feeling that is a bit naive.
Just a waiting game for the next few weeks now. Patience has never been my strong point 
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Currently living through this with my mum.
We are living one day at a time, trying not to forecast the future or second guess what will happen next.
It is emotionally exhausting all I can offer is
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