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Mental illness, Heart illness, surgery... Help my life is a mess 😢

(3 Posts)
Takenoshit Tue 28-Mar-17 11:11:18

Hi guys
so I'll start by giving you a list of my illnesses:
Anxiety servere,
Depression servere,
Aortic stenosis due to scar tissue because of previous open heart surgery from a nasty infection that nearly killed me,
Postperfusion syndrome, which is a brain impairment caused by the heart lung machine I was on during previous surgery.
It includes, memory loss, concentration loss, forgetting words and the list goes on.

Basically I'm fed up and im listed for urgent open heart surgery soon. Which has sent my anxiety through the roof.

I've 3 boys and a new baby girl 5months so I'm already exhausted.

I'm on a whole bunch of meds.. Warfarin because u currently have a mechanical heart valve. Asprin, Bisoprsol, Tinzaparin, omeprazol and they prescribed me 2mg of Temazapam that hasn't worked so I stopped taking it. Oh and sertraline which is slowly helping my case.

I'm really sorry I'm wittering on but I wanted you all to understand my background. I have a fiancé also. But he works full time.

My condition means I'm fatigued mosthe of the time, I suffer insomnia and I have vertigo among other things. I've been told it's not longer safe for me to exercise which I loved.

I'm home all day with the baby on my own and do the night feeds because my partner works, plus the school run twice a day and house meals.. ect ect.

I'm not sleeping. My daughter isn't a fantastic sleeper so I struggle anyway.. but she will sleep till at least 2am and then back to sleep at 4am. Problem is I can't get to sleep or get back to sleep.

Then on top of all this because of my memory loss I missed a payment of my council tax bill. I'm in arrears because when my abusive ex left.. he left me I'm debt so equita are on my case. So because I've missed one payment which I've done before they are threatening bailiffs again. They've done this before and added like 200 pounds onto my bill. I only owe 200 pounds to them as it stands and I think that the bailiffs charges.. but I can't afford to pay in full which is what they are asking. I have sent them emails explaining the situation and im waiting a reply.. I am actually ahead of my payments now. Because when I forget I pay double to hopefully counteract the couple days late payment. I'm freaking out about it..

So as you can see my anxiety is through the roof and I've even had suicidal thoughts.. because that way.. I won't be in debt and I won't need to worry about heart surgery. I won't though, I love my babies too much. If I didn't have them I dread to think.

I have social anxiety time the extreme and think everyone dislikes me.

I can't drive so getting from A to b in my condition is hard.

All my family work, so I'm literally alone. Unless my partner is home weekends which is once a fortnight.

My doctor just prescribed zopiclone 3.75mg but I Dare not take it because of the baby. Will I wake for her?

Someone just please tell me I'm not alone because right now my life is a mess.

The house is getting on top of me and I have zero energy to entertain it. Because of a mixture of my illness and anxiety. My partner get frustrated with it. He likes a clean and I just can't 😢

babybels Sun 03-Sep-17 09:52:43

This is a really old thread now but I'm sorry you didn't seem to get any replies.
Your situation looked very difficult then with so many health issues to deal with.
How are things going now?
I hope things are better for you. You're not alone.

MissEDashwood Sun 03-Sep-17 12:23:31

Hi, I saw this too, I wanted to add a few things.

Firstly you're doing amazing, even though you feel the way you do. I would contact Surestart if they still exist near you, that way you can have a volunteer come in and pretty much do what you want, whether that's talk, watch baby whilst you sleep.

Get onto the people you owe with a generic letter from your GP confirming the state of your health. Then write one yourself describing how you struggle. They can be very empathetic and even write off debts or freeze them.

Contact Adult Care and ask for a Direct Payment assessment. Your focus for this needs to be on what help they can give you. So they can help organise, help cleaning, help making sure you get a routine in place. Say obviously with a baby it would be a massive help that way post surgery, when you're going to be limited.

When you see CAB make sure you claim everything you are entitled to.

Sending flowers

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